This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for October 21, 2011
By Curt David
October 21, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Not pictured: Muskets, of any kind Just sayin
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Halloween, Groundhog Day, and Independence Day all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (CZJ + CD = 4Ever).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of October 21st, the movies in wide release are Johnny English Reborn, The Mighty Macs, Paranormal Activity 3, and The Three Musketeers.


Johnny English Reborn The Mighty Macs Paranormal Activity 3 The Three Musketeers WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleA sequel to the 2003 James Bond spoof film, Johnny English. The name of a three-time national championship girl's basketball team. The third film in the Paranormal Activity series. A remake of movies and a book by the same name. Paranormal Activity and The Three Musketeers split the point for the most recognizable title.
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy:

Rated PG for mild action violence, rude humor, some language and brief sensuality. 		Inspirational:

Rated G 		Horror:

Rated R for some language and brief violent material 		Adventure:

Rated PG-13 for sequences of adventure action violence 		I love it when there are four films with four different genres. 1/4th point each!
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"A little intelligence goes a long way"

Ha, the character isn't the brightest, but he'll save the day

2/5 		"She dared to dream. They dared to believe."

Inspirational.

2/5 		"It runs in the family"

I haven't seen these movies, but I'm sure this tagline is relevant.

2/5 		n/a

tsk. tsk.

0/5 		Not the best week for taglines, but the first three films will each get 1/3rd point (adding up the totals this week is going to be tough).
Best Part of TrailerIt actually made me laugh! I can't get enough of these inspirational trailers- so good. That's a spooky trailer. It looked decently good. I don't know what my problem is this week, I can't decide on anything. Each movie gets a 1/4th of a point!
Coolest Lead ActorRowan Atkinson aka Mr. Bean and Johnny English. Carla Gugino from Sin City, Night at the Museum, and Watchmen. Katie Featherston from the first two Paranormal Activities. Orlando Bloom from the Pirates trilogy and Lord of the Rings trilogy. Orlando is the most popular, but he's not the lead actor...so what the heck- let's give all these actors a 1/4th of a point.
Best CastDominic West (300) and Gillian Anderson (X-Files). David Boreanaz (Angel), Ellen Burstyn (The Exorcist) I don't recognize any other actors. Milla Jovovic (Resident Evil) Oh sweet mother, I can't choose the best cast either- the movies with the listed actors will each get a third of a point!
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Oliver Parker has also directed Othello and The Importance of Being Earnest. Writer and Director Tim Chambers is just starting out, but you'll hear more from him soon. Writer Christopher B. Landon has also written Paranormal Activity 2 and Disturbia. Director Paul W.S. Anderson has also directed The Resident Evil movies, Alien vs. Predator, and Mortal Combat. Finally, a round with a clear winner. The entire point goes to Mr. Anderson!


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Three Musketeers scores 2 and 7/12 points, Paranormal Activity 3 scores 1 and 7/12 points, and The Mighty Macs and Johnny English Reborn each score 1 and 5/12 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you have seen the first two Paranormal Activities, feel free to watch the third. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Three Musketeers is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I'm not sure why there were four musketeers in the trailer, but maybe the movie will explain that one.
Conclusion 3: Christopher Landon's dad is Michael Landon of Little House on the Prairie and Highway to Heaven Fame.