This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for September 16, 2011
By Curt David
September 15, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

I smell dollars! And warthog poo.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The Rock, Rocky, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, I have even seen your movie Splitting Heirs).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of September 16th, the movies in wide release Drive, I Don't Know How She Does It, The Lion King 3D re-release, and Straw Dogs.

DriveI Don't Know How She Does ItThe Lion King 3DStraw DogsWINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSounds like it has to do with cars = Action movie probably. Sounds like the main character is a woman = Chick Flick probablySounds like my favorite cartoon growing up = Reissue of The Lion King probablyI don't know what this title means= could be any genre really, maybe drama?The Lion King is an amazingly familiar title and will win the first point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action: Rated R for strong brutal bloody violence, language, and some nudity.Comedy: Rated PG-13 for some disturbing content and some language.Animation: Rated GThriller: Rated R for strong brutal violence including a sexual attack, menace, some sexual content, and pervasive language.I almost predicted all the genres correct from their titles. The two non-brutal violence movies will split the point for being different...and cheerful.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"Some Heroes Are Real" I don't know what this means. 1/5"Let The Multi-tasking Begin" I don't want to see this movie anymore because of this tagline. 1/5"Life's Greatest Adventure is Finding Yourself in the Circle of Life" I don't think I would have liked this tagline if I hadn't seen the movie first 1/5"Everyone Has a Breaking Point" Better. 2/5Straw Dogs wins the point for best tagline.
Best Part of TrailerWeird music selection, but glad it looked better than Fast and Furious.Looks sweet..but "comedy" may have been stretching it a littleNostalgic.Disturbing.Lion King and Straw Dogs had emotionally powerful trailers...they'll split the point (even though I know I don't want to watch Straw Dogs).
Coolest Lead ActorRyan Gosling from Crazy, Stupid Love, The Notebook, and Young Hercules.Sarah Jessica Parker from Sex and the City and Failure to Launch.SimbaJames Marsden from Enchanted and the X-men trilogy.Shoot, they're all pretty cool...all four will split the point.
Best CastCarey Mulligan (An Education), Christina Hendricks (Mad Men), and Ron Perlman (Hellboy).Pierce Brosnan (GoldenEye), Greg Kinnear (Little Miss Sunshine), Christina Hendricks, Kelsey Grammar (Frasier), Jane Curtin and Seth Meyers (SNL)Nala, Mufasa, Timon, Pumbaa, Scar, Rafiki, and Zazu.Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns) and Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood).What it may lack in laughs, it makes up in star power. I Don't Know How She Does It wins the point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Nicolas Winding Refn just won Best Director at Cannes for Drive.Director Douglas McGrath also directed (and wrote) Emma, and was nominated for an Oscar for writing. Oscar nominated Director Roger Allers also wrote Aladdin and Director Rob Minkoff also directed Stuart Little.Director Rod Lurie has also directed other smaller movies and TV shows. But...no one has won an Oscar yet...all four directors will split the point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Lion King 3D scores 2 and 1/2 points, Straw Dogs and I Don't Know How She Does It scores 2 points each, and Drive scores 1/2 a point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to see the best reviewed movie on RottenTomatoes, even rated higher than The Lion King, go see Drive. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Lion King 3D is the best movie to watch this weekend. And in all reality, isn't it about time for us all to watch The Lion King again?
Conclusion 2: Drive may very well be an awesome movie, but no one wants to go see a movie called "Drive."
Conclusion 3: Straw Dogs is a remake of a Dustin Hoffman film. But I still don't get what that title actually means.