This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for September 9, 2011
By Curt David
September 9, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Sure, I can score you some drugs.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Star Wars, Bride Wars, and War all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, I have seen six of your movies on opening weekend).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of September 9th, the movies in wide release (or sortof-wide release) are Contagion, Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star, Creature, and Warrior.

Contagion Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star CreatureWarrior WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSounds like it has to do with diseases = Sci-Fi movie probably. Sounds like a parody of a biopic = Comedy movie probably Sounds like a negative term for a big animal = Horror movie probably. Sounds like a fighter = Epic historical action movie probably.None of the titles are super clear, but at least Bucky Larson has more than one word in it. Point for the Star.
Best Genre
and Rating		Sci-Fi Rated PG-13 for disturbing content and some language. Comedy Rated R for pervasive crude sexual content, language, and some nudity. Horror Rated R for bloody violence and grisly images, some sexual content, graphic nudity, language, and some drug use. Sport/Drama Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense mixed martial arts fighting, some language, and thematic material. Shoot, four distinct genres, and I predicted three of them correct. Point for The Warrior for surprising me with a sure-to-be inspirational genre.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"The world goes viral September 9th" Near perfect tagline, plot-related, nice play on words, date included. 3/5 "There are no small actors, just small parts" Hilarious when read on the funny poster and knowing the plot is about a guy trying to become a porn star. 3/5 "Terror has teeth" Meh. I guess terror has teeth means that it has substance and that the creature is half-crocodile 2/5 "Family is worth fighting for" Whoa. Definitely an inspirational movie. 1/5 Contagion and Bucky Larson split the point...I wish I could make a funny tagline about an STD right now.
Best Part of TrailerIt was good. It made you forget you were in your living room...and then afterward, made you glad you were back in it. It was entertaining, not laugh-out funny, but Napoleon Dynamite trying to make a porn movie is funny. It was a horror trailer. That's all. I tried to resist, but I got inspirational- goosebumpsContagion, Warrior, and (maybe due to a momentary lack of judgment) Bucky Larson will each get 1/3 of the point for the best trailer.
Coolest Lead ActorMatt Damon from Good Will Hunting, The Departed, and the Bourne trilogy. Nick Swardson from Reno 911. Sid Haig from The Devil's Rejects and other horror movies. Tom Hardy from Inception. While Nick Swardson made Reno 911 hysterical, Matt Damon is slightly cooler- point for the latter.
Best CastGwyneth Paltrow (Iron Man), Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix), and Jude Law (Sherlock Holmes) and Kate Winslet (Titanic) Christina Ricci (Sleepy Hollow) and Don Johnson (Miami Vice) Mehcad Brooks (13 episodes of True Blood) Joel Edgerton (King Arthur) and Nick Nolte (I Love Trouble) Contagion, simple plot but impressive cast. Point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Steven Soderbergh also directed the Ocean's trilogy, Erin Brockovich, and Traffic. Director Tom Brady also directed The Hot Chick and The Comebacks. Director Fred Andrews has done production design on a lot of products. Director Gavin O'Connor also directed Miracle. Gavin has done some impressive work, but Oscar-winner Steven clearly takes the point home.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Contagion scores 3 and 5/6 points, Bucky Larson scores 1 and 5/6 points, Warrior scores 1 and 1/3 points, and Creature scores 0 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like MMA and/or the movie The Blind Side, go see Warrior. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, the best movie to watch this weekend (pretty much based on star power alone) is Contagion.
Conclusion 2: Most surprising thing about the should-have-been predictable sports drama of a guy that defies all odds, trains hard, and wins the last fight...is that there are TWO GUYS training hard, getting to the last fight, and you're (I assume) rooting for both of them! Who will win????
Conclusion 3: This movie weekend brought back memories of my love of Traffic, Reno 911, and even the movie I Love Trouble.