This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for August 19, 2011
By Curt David
August 19, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

That's an awfully neat trick
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Touristas, National Lampoon's Vacation, and The Holiday all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones, can you please make a sequel to Entrapment?).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of August 19th, the movies in wide release are Conan the Barbarian, Fright Night, One Day, and Spy Kids: All the time in the world.


Conan the Barbarian Fright Night One Day Spy Kids: All the Time in the World WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis movie will probably be a remake of Conan the Barbarian. This movie will probably be a horror movie. This movie will probably be targeted for women. This movie will probably be another sequel to Spy Kids. Spy Kids and Conan are two well-known titles- each will earn half a point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action/Fantasy:

Rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality, and nudity. 		Horror/Comedy:

Rated R for bloody horror violence and language including sexual references. 		Romantic/Drama:

Rated PG-13 for sexual content, partial nudity, language, some violence, and substance abuse. 		Family/Action:

Rated PG for mild action and rude humor. 		I get angry when two movies released have the exact same genre and rating. This week I'm happy. All four movies split the point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"Enter an age undreamed of"

No clue what that means, especially cause this is a remake.

1/5 		"You can't run from evil when it lives next door"

Better. But can't you still hide from evil by locking your door?

2/5 		"Twenty years. Two people."

Better still. Don't know what it means, but perfect tagline for a romantic drama.

2.5/5 		"Saving the world is their idea of family time"

Better yet! Who doesn't like parents and children kicking butt?

3/5 		Not the best week for taglines, but I'm glad each film had one. Spy Kids scrapes a point this round and is surprisingly in the lead now.
Best Part of TrailerNot sure about the plot, but it definitely has action. It was good! Funny and creepy. Disturbia with a vampire. Inspirational music. Looks like a perfect romantic drama type movie. It's in 4D!!! You can smell things too!!!! 4D! It's presented in Aroma-scope!!!! That's amazing. Spy Kids wins another point!
Coolest Lead ActorJason Momoa from Game of Thrones. Colin Farrell from Phone Booth, Miami Vice, and Daredevil. Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada, Alice in Wonderland, and Get Smart. Jessica Alba from Sin City, Fantastic Four, and Dark Angel. Anne Hathaway wins this point. (Don't be mad Jessica, you would have won any other week!)
Best CastRachel Nichols (G.I.Joe), Rose McGowan (Charmed), Ron Perlman (Hellboy), and Stephen Lang (Avatar). Anton Yelchin (Charlie Bartlett), Toni Collett (Little Miss Sunshine), Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad), Jim Sturgess (Across the Universe) and Patricia Clarkson (Easy A). Jeremy Piven (Entourage), Danny Trejo (Grindhouse), and the voice of Ricky Gervais (British Office) Shoot, this is a close race. I think Spy Kids deserves it, but to spread out the points some more, Conan's cast will win.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Marcus Nispel has also directed remakes of Friday the 13th and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Director Craig Gillespie has also directed Mr. Woodcock and Lars and the Real Girl. Director Lone Scherfig has also directed An Education (and the film is based on a famous book). Director Robert Rodriguez has also directed Desperado, Sin City, and the other Spy Kids movies. The first three directors have a bit of street cred, but Robert Rodriguez has the most. Point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World scores 3 and 3/4 points, Conan the Barbarian scores 1 and 3/4 points, One Day scores 1 and 1/4 points, and Fright Night scores 1/4 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like a certain genre, feel free to watch the corresponding movie this week. . However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is the best movie to watch this weekend?!?!
Conclusion 2: I would never have guessed that Spy Kids would have won this week's column. That just happened as I spontaneously researched this week's movies. (I personally would watch Fright Night, though).
Conclusion 3: James Franco's younger brother Dave has a part in Fright Night.