This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for August 12th, 2011
By Curt David
August 12, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of August 12th, the movies in wide release are 30 Minutes or Less, Final Destination 5, Glee The 3D Concert Movie, and The Help.
| 30 Minutes or Less | Final Destination 5 | Glee: The 3D Concert Movie | The Help | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | This movie could be about anything. | This movie will be the next horror movie of the Final Destination franchise. | This will be a 3D concert from the show Glee. | This movie could be about anything. | Final Destination and Glee split the point for the clearest title. |
| Best Genre and Rating | Action/Comedy:
Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, nudity, and some violence. | Horror:
Rated R for strong violent/gruesome accidents, and some language. | Concert:
Rated PG for thematic elements, brief language, and some sensuality. | Drama:
Rated PG-13 for thematic material. | I approve how there are four different genres, each movie splits the point. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | N/A
What? Comedies should have the best taglines. Fail. 0/5 | "Death has never been closer."
Really? Not even in the first four movies? Oh, maybe that's the point of the tagline. 3/5 | N/A
What? Concerts should have the best taglines. Fail. 0/5 | "Change begins with a whisper."
I. Have. No. Idea, but at least it's a tagline. 1/5 | Incredible, Final Destination wins this point and is actually in the lead now. |
| Best Part of Trailer | It actually seemed funny and a fun plot. | Perhaps a new plot twist in the series? | Sue Sylvester saying, "Please. Save your money. This thing sucks." | It looked inspirational and well done. | Inspirational films usually win this round. Point for The Help. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Jesse Eisenberg from The Social Network, Zombieland, and Adventureland. | Emma Bell from Gracie and Frozen. | Lea Michele from Glee. | Emma Stone from Easy A, Zombieland, and Superbad. | Jesse Eisenberg and Emma Stone are two of my favorite actors. They'll split the point this round. |
| Best Cast | Danny McBride (Pineapple Express), and Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation) | I didn't recognize anyone else. | The rest of the cast of Glee. | Viola Davis (Doubt), Bryce Dallas Howard (Spider-Man 3), and Octavia Spencer (Dinner for Schmucks), and other famous women. | The Help helps itself to another point. |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Ruben Fleisher has also directed Zombieland. | Director Steven Quale was the second unit director of Avatar. | Director Kevin Tancharoen has also directed Fame. | Director and Writer Tate Taylor has acted in several movies. | Each guy is just starting to get his street cred. All four movies split the point. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Help scores 3 points, 30 minutes or Less and Final Destination 5 each score 1 and 1/2 points, and Glee scores 1 point.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like a certain genre, feel free to watch the corresponding movie this week. . However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, The Help is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Sue Sylvester is funny.
Conclusion 3: Bryce Dallas Howard, the previous Gwen Stacy in a Spiderman movie, is starring in a film with Emma Stone, the next Gwen Stacy. And was I the only one that didn't know that Bryce's dad was Ron Howard?