Viking Night: Big Trouble in Little China
By Bruce Hall
July 12, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Someone needs a manicure.

I’ve had this dream bouncing around in my head for a while. It’s a crazy dream, but when you imagine something normal they don’t call it a “dream”. They call it an “idea”, and believe me, this is far more than just an “idea”. I have given my crazy dream a name, and that name is “Mount Studdmore." That’s right, go ahead - fish your mind out of the gutter while I explain. The dream involves carving out the back of Mount Rushmore to honor the greatest movie action heroes of all time. Aha...you were going to laugh at me but now your mind is literally racing with possibilities, isn’t it? Steve McQueen, John Wayne, Lee Marvin, Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Bruce Lee...the list of deserving badasses is potentially endless. But there’s only so much room up there, so who should be chosen, and how big should their faces be? I don’t pretend to have the answers - I just gave birth to the dream. However, I do have one modest suggestion.

Choosing four presidents everyone can love seems a lot harder than narrowing the field of great action stars down to just a few - but let’s agree to leave out the muscle men, shall we? No Arnold, no Sly, no Van Damme. There’s no question these men have entertained us over the years, but a soulless smirking meat-sack is not worthy of an honor such as this. Mount Studdmore is reserved for heroes who inspired us, who gave us hope and who took up the fight for the little guy. They bleed, they suffer and sometimes they even shed a single, badass tear. But they always come out on top - because there is right and wrong in this world, and someone has to stand up for it. So here’s to the Army and the Navy and the battles they have won. Here’s to America’s colors, the colors that never run. Here’s to Kurt Russell. And here’s to his greatest creation: Jack Burton.

Jack Burton is a simple man; a truck driver who earns his living on the open road and makes his home under the stars. And like all great men, he lives by just a few simple rules. Always pay your dues, never drive faster than you can see, and never turn your back on your friends. But trust is hard to come by in this world, so friends are something Jack doesn’t have many of. One of them is Wang Chi (Dennis Dun), an old pal Jack drops in on whenever he’s in Chinatown.

This time as the two men catch up over beers, Jack learns that Wang is set to be married to Miao Yin, a beautiful Chinese woman blessed with the rarity of jade green eyes. After a night of heavy gambling and even heavier drinking, the boys head to the airport to pick up Miao, only to see her kidnapped by a ruthless mob of Chinese gangsters. Determined to help his friend, Jack bitterly utters the immortal words that I would have tattooed across my chest, if I weren’t so afraid of needles: “Son of a bitch must pay.”


Jack and Wang track the hooligans back to Chinatown, where they fast find themselves in over their heads - drawn into an ancient feud between rival gangs and supernatural forces beyond their understanding. Jack loses his truck, but the two men manage to escape with their lives. Desperate to rescue his bride, Wang recruits some help – childhood friend Eddie Lee (Donald Li), a nosy civil rights lawyer named Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall) and a grizzled old mystic named Egg Shen (the immensely loveable Victor Wong). Together they descend into the depths of Chinatown to mount a rescue. Unspeakable horrors await them there, and they discover that Miao is the victim of something far more sinister than random street crime.

It turns out the universe is threatened by an ancient demon called David Lo Pan (James Hong) who happens to have the hots for Wang’s girl. Lo Pan is a crusty, merciless old bastard who commands hordes of evil minions, and has mastered the elemental powers of Chinese black magic. And, he has Jack’s truck. Our heroes must race against time to rescue Miao, save the universe, and find Jack’s truck before Lo Pan takes off with Miao to rule the universe from beyond the grave.

Sounds like fun? Well it is, mostly. Big Trouble is an eclectic and often haphazard mash-up of styles, and it takes great pleasure in throwing as many of them in your face as possible. The central theme of the movie is that beneath the streets of Chinatown, there’s a hidden world of sorcery and danger that’s not meant for Western eyes. Jack and Gracie are two of the only white faces in the cast, thrust into a world they can hardly begin to understand, which makes for both light and awkward moments. Jack’s conservative hubris and Gracie’s liberal idealism are of little use in this world, and the Asian characters are center stage for much of the film, in roles that usually (but not always) favor their ethnicity without resorting to demeaning racial stereotypes. The film churns rapid fire through a lengthy list of influences with mixed results. You can see bits and pieces of American Westerns, Hong Kong martial arts classics, old school Charlie Chan adventures, real life Chinese legend and what passed for a modern action comedy in the 1980s.

And have I mentioned that this movie is very heavy on the Ghostbusters style special effects? That’s not meant as an insult - even by today’s standards, Big Trouble boasts some pretty dazzling eye candy. It’s a lot to digest, but it never slows down long enough to truly feel exhausting. This is more of an amusement park ride than a movie, and in that respect it succeeds brilliantly. However, even casual, incurious moviegoers can sense when there’s too much grain in their beef. Big Trouble technically does have a story, and it’s not hard to follow. But it’s essentially an early example of the “video game on film” genre. There’s never any doubt as to how the thing will end, and the characters are even more one dimensional than the plot. Each set of challenges our heroes face as they descend into the depths of Chinatown play out like a first generation console shooter - you make your way through the same level over and over again, only the difficulty increases slightly each time and the boss battle at the end gets a little more unfair.

Speaking of unfair, I guess that’s not an entirely legitimate criticism. The story does develop, at least a little. And it does flow logically, for the most part. It’s just that the characters don’t. At the end of this adventure, none of the principals have grown or changed to any great degree and for some, this sort of static development may make the entire experience seem fruitless. I certainly can’t disagree with those who say that this film lacks depth. But I would also suggest that if you can let the logical side of your head receive the characters for their inherent goodness or badness, you can tolerate them. And if you can allow the rest of your mind to just absorb the irreverent fun, you really shouldn't be able to avoid enjoying this film. It’s really just a good old fashioned chop-socky romp, and personally I don’t have a problem with this. This is one of my favorite films of all time, and it isn’t because it makes sense. But what if you just can’t accept all that? Do the characters work on any level? The answer more or less, is yes.

Kurt Russell’s interpretation of Jack Burton is famously one part John Wayne, one part Indiana Jones, and one part Red State stumblebum. He’s almost the definitive Ugly American, stumped by the slightest sign of cultural contrast and convinced that he has all the answers, simply by virtue of being awake. Despite this unqualified bravado, Burton has a heart of gold and truly wants to be a hero - he just has no idea how to do it. Kim Cattrall is a truly terrible actress, and her over the top hysterics come close to derailing the film more than once. Up to this point she was best known as the slutty gym teacher in Porky’s, so I suppose it’s possible she tried a little too hard to stand out. But this really isn’t the kind of film where that matters and in a way it works, because Gracie Law isn’t any better at what she does than Cattrall is. And if you think that’s mean, I can tell you that in comparison to the things I’ve said about Katherine Heigl this qualifies as high praise.

Back to the point - Russell’s macho posturing is pitch perfect, and Cattrall’s natural incompetence happens to suit Gracie just fine. Jack Burton is an arrogant loudmouth who thinks he’s an expert on everything. Gracie obviously got her law degree out of a Cracker Jack box. Lack of dimension aside, both manage to scrape up enough brain cells to save the universe AND give us a few laughs along the way. The supporting cast is mainly there to keep the leads from shooting themselves in the foot. The chaotic story unfolding around them is loud, colorful and fully aware of its own absurdity. So at the end of the day, the film’s complete lack of character development has to be weighed against whether or not the story accomplished what it set out to do. It’s as easy to have fun with Big Trouble in Little China as it is to enjoy eating ice cream so in my opinion, mission accomplished. Pour a soda, make some popcorn, turn off your brain and laugh a little. It won’t hurt, I promise.

So where does this leave Kurt Russell? Does he belong up there on the mountain? Well, I’ve always felt that Jack Burton was his finest moment. Both men are just average guys who may not be the best at what they do, but they always seem to be in the right place at the right time and it’s hard not to love them for it. Kurt Russell may not be saving the universe, and he’s certainly not Lee Marvin or Clint Eastwood. But if Bruce Willis can be up there (he is), why not Kurt Russell? For four decades he’s put together a solid body of work and along the way he’s created a handful of genuinely iconic action heroes – one of whom is standing next to my monitor as I write this. I can’t imagine film without him and for that; he shall forever be immortalized in the granite hills of South Dakota. Surprised? Don’t be. As Jack Burton himself would say, it’s all in the reflexes.