How to Spend $20
By David Mumpower
May 24, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
For people who have nightmares about clowns performing unnecessary surgeries on them: Childrens Hospital: First & Second Seasons (Pick of the week)
When TheWB.com re-launched as a web only programming network, they included new content in addition to their back catalog of Joss Whedon shows and teen melodramas. Comedian Rob Corddry (whom you know as the creator of Lougle.com) developed a series of ten vignettes spoofing all of the television medical series swarming throughout network television. All of them combined comprise about 45 minutes of run time, making the first season of the show the same length as your average episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The primary difference is that the laughs in Childrens Hospital are intentional while the ones in Grey’s come from obsessive self-indulgence from the television characters as well as the television viewers. I would apologize to Grey’s Anatomy viewers for the snide comment but I have to say that despite the show’s massive popularity, I don’t know anyone who describes him/herself as a viewer. This is one of network television’s great mysteries to me. But I digress.
Childrens Hospital is a satire that sports a remarkably good cast for any program, much less an internet creation. Lake Bell (What Happens in Vegas), Ken Marino (Veronica Mars/The State), Megan Mullally (Will & Grace), Henry Winkler (The Fonz), and goddess of love Malin Akerman (Watchmen) are regulars, while a slew of guest stars such as Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon), Kurtwood Smith (That 70s Show) and Ed Helms (Mike Tyson’s bitch) also recur. The talent level alone should provide enough justification for you to give the show a shot.
Childrens Hospital mocks Scrubs more than anything else, particularly the show’s habit of having doctors reveal internal monologue as they walk down the halls of the hospital. It also has some clever gags that subvert expectations such as the title of the series, which I have not been misspelling. The founder of the hospital in question is Doctor Arthur Childrens and while there is a pediatric center on the premises, almost all of the patients are adults. I could say more but since the show is so brief (you could complete catch up in about four hours, just in time for the season three premiere next week), I do not want to spoil any gags. Instead, I will simply say that while some of the episodes are better than others, each one requires an investment of only 5-10 minutes of your time. The show is easily consumed and provides more than enough laughs to justify its low purchase price.
For people who are British, female, or vaguely recall the news cycle previous to Seal Team Six taking out Osama: The Royal Wedding: William & Catherine
Here is what I learned during the week of the Royal Wedding as well as its aftermath. Something called Pippa is (allegedly) hot and supposedly likes to take pictures of herself in various states of undress. Also, there are female members of the royal family who have the appearance of the evil stepsisters from a famous fairy tale. Also, they wear hats that may or may not be alien life forms masquerading as headdress accessories. Admittedly, I did not pay a lot of attention. If I am missing some key details, I apologize. Clearly, I am not the target audience but if you are British or female, I am certain that this DVD will provide with you hours of entertainment. Nothing says excitement like the intricacies of extended ceremony. The Royal Wedding is like getting to watch 14 graduations in a row.
For people seeking a movie title equivalent of labeling their underwear as days of the week: I Am Number Four
The lazy yet accurate comparison for this title is Jumper, a prior superhero flick that earned $80 million almost in spite of itself. Based on a young adult novel by Jobie Hughes and James Frey (yes, that James Frey), I Am Number Four tells the story of a person with metahuman abilities who discovers he is being hunted by people who have already killed three others with similar special talents. While the movie featured what I felt was a great trailer and also co-starred Timothy Olyphant (watch Justified, people!), it wound up earning only $55 million domestically. It has managed around $145 million worldwide, making it a solid performer against a $55 million production budget, but it’s not being remembered any more fondly than Jumper.
In fact, Pettyfer’s performance in I Am Number Four may have cost him the coveted lead role of Peeta in the upcoming adaptation of The Hunger Games. He had been hyped as the favorite around the time when this feature came out in February. Six weeks later, Josh Hutcherson was announced as Peeta. What happened in the interim is that I Am Number Four underperformed relative to expectations, probably because the movie isn’t that good. Only 18% of top critics at Rotten Tomatoes liked it well enough to recommend to their readers. Keep this in mind if you plan to rent/purchase it. At the very least, lower your expectations and you may be pleasantly surprised.
For those who enjoy mildly inventive wordplay: Gnomeo & Juliet
This is allegedly a children's film, but I would suggest covering your kid’s eyes when the poison and the daggers make their debut. The story gets a touch fatalistic after that, presuming this is a faithful adaptation. Oh, who am I kidding? I bet Gnomeo & Juliet both live happily ever after; this is a Disney release after all. Actually, this was one of the Miramax titles that were ceded when the company folded into the Mouse House. It had originally been intended to be a Disney animation production but those plans changed when new head of animation John Lasseter came onboard. This is the rare miscalculation by the man who made Pixar spectacular. Gnomeo & Juliet is a relatively well received project whose musical numbers penned by Elton and Bernie Taupin are definite crowd pleasers. No, Gnomeo and Juliet is not on a par with the spectacular animated titles of 2010 such as How to Train Your Dragon, Toy Story 3, and Despicable Me, but if you are in the market for a family film your children will love, garden gnomes are a great choice. Unless there is dagger/poison usage.
For people who always wanted to see The Breakfast Club re-imagined as a musical: Lemonade Mouth
In the wake of the unprecedented popularity of High School Musical, Disney and their primary competitors for the tween demographic have delivered several clones with varying levels of popularity. Their latest offering all but begs for the comparison to The Breakfast Club. Five disparate high school freshmen find themselves stuck in detention together, forcing them to explore their only commonality, a love of music. Presumably, this process begins with a rousing rendition of Don’t You (Forget About Me) by The Simple Minds and ends with a (musical) letter telling Mr. Vernon that he sees the students in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. Ugh. I bet my wife tries to get me to watch this.
New DVD releases for the week of May 24, 2011:
Gnomeo and Juliet (G)
I Am Number Four (PG-13)
The Big Bang (R)
Burning Palms (R)
Capadocia: Season 1 (Not Rated)
Childrens Hospital: First & Second Seasons (Not Rated)
Cruzando (Not Rated)
D-Day: The Total Story (Not Rated)
Death Hunter: Werewolves vs. Vampires (R)
Dinosaur Train: Dino-Mighty Music (Not Rated)
Discreet (Not Rated)
The Duel (Not Rated)
Eat My Dust / Grand Theft Auto (Not Rated)
Eatrip (Not Rated)
Europe All 90 Shows Collection (Not Rated)
Exit No. 6 (Not Rated)
Fanboy and Chum Chum (Not Rated)
Fertile Ground (R)
Fighting Mad / Moving Violation (Not Rated)
Forget Me Not (R)
God Went Surfing with the Devil (Not Rated)
HIT Favorites: Sweet Dreams (Not Rated)
IRT Deadliest Roads: Season 1 (Not Rated)
Johnny (Not Rated)
The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town (Not Rated)
The Laura Dore Show: Laura Dore In Italy (Not Rated)
Lemonade Mouth
Lilly's Thorn (Not Rated)
Louvre City (Not Rated)
Melissa & Joey: Season One, Part One (Not Rated)
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Mickey's Great Outdoors (Not Rated)
MLB Bloopers Doubleheader (Not Rated)
National Geographic: Return of the Ghost Ship (Not Rated)
National Geographic: Secret Service Files (Not Rated)
National Geograpic: Ultimate Factories Car Coll (Not Rated)
Nenette Collection (Not Rated)
Night After Night (Not Rated)
The North Star (Not Rated)
Nova: Japan's Killer Quake (Not Rated)
PBS Explorer Collection: Brain Fitness Volume 1 (Not Rated)
Peter Manjarres: Un Concierto Para La Historia (Not Rated)
Picasso & Braque Go to the Movies (Not Rated)
Prime Nine: MLB Heroics (Not Rated)
Psycho Gothic Lolita (Not Rated)
Public Speaking (Not Rated)
Queens Blade 2: Evil Eye Series Part 1 (Not Rated)
Reagan (Not Rated)
Rick Steve's Eastern Europe (Not Rated)
Rick Steve's Europe 10 New (Not Rated)
Rick Steve's Scandinavia (Not Rated)
Rick Steve's Spain Collection (Not Rated)
Rick Steve's Travel Extra (Not Rated)
The Royal Wedding: William & Catherine (Not Rated)
The Scenesters (R)
Seconds Apart (R)
Shin Koihime Muso: Otome Tairan (Not Rated)
A Small Act (Not Rated)
Soul Eater: Parts 1 & 2 (Not Rated)
A Tale of Two Cities (Not Rated)
TNA: Against All Odds / Victory Road 2011
Transcendent Man: Prepare to Evolve (Not Rated)
Transformers: The Complete Original Series (Not Rated)
The Unknown War: WWII and the Epic Battles of... (Not Rated)
The Unloved
William & Kate: Planning A Royal Wedding (Not Rated)
Yes Sir! Jack Nicklaus & Historic 1986 Masters (Not Rated)
New Blu Ray releases for the week of May 24, 2011:
The Big Bang
Burning Palms
The Duel
The End of Poverty?
Gettysburg
Gnomeo and Juliet
Gods And Generals
Grand Prix
The Great Dictator
I Am Number Four
IRT Deadliest Roads: Season 1
Le Mans
Papillon
Peanuts: Happiness Is A Warm Blanket Charlie Brown
Platoon
Samurai Champloo Complete Set
Solaris
Soul Eater: Parts 1 & 2
Tigerland