The Amazing Race All-Stars Recap
By Daron Aldridge
May 2, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Not that you asked for it but here’s a bonus for you: My Lichtenstein (sp?)-sized recap of last week’s episode. The elimination of Jet & Cord was a bitter, fondue-coated pill for me to swallow as I had high hopes for them. This may have been the first time that an alliance on the Amazing Race was responsible for an elimination. Of course, I am speaking of the leg-saving assist in the form of sharing answers that Justin gave Flight Time and by extension Gary. This could be the cowboys’ eventual misfortune to offset their fortune during their first season when boneheads Brent & Caite U-Turned their lesbian nemesis Brandy & Carol instead of the stronger competition in the cowboys.
At first, the cowboys’ elimination last week didn’t bother me too much but then it festered the more I thought about it. It gets my goat primarily because Jet & Cord regularly blew past the competition without the help of others. I think that teams left did what Brent & Caite failed to do and that is recognize that giving the cowboys any edge can and will come back to haunt you.
Moving on to this week’s power rankings, you may find my logic fallible and illogical but I’m used to hearing those adjectives describe my way of thinking:
1. Father/daughter Gary & Mallory (Season 17) and best friends Zev & Justin (Season 15) – There is no hierarchy here as I am thinking both of these teams are very much equals in their odds of making it to the finish line. Both teams continue to complement each other in just the right way and Zev hasn’t experienced a distractingly bad Roadblock performance in a few legs. While the friends have quietly assumed frontrunner status with multiple first place finishes, I think that an equally underrated team is Gary & Mallory. While they have had the taste of first place, I think they are still viewed as the underdog.
2. Goth couple Kent & Vyxsin (Season 12) – This is the one you have to stay with me on as I am trying a little reverse psychology here. Do I think that our Goths are a strong team? Definitely “No” after watching last week’s televised emasculation of Kent when Vyxsin suggested he get on the cart and she would pull him, since his little baby feet were tired. So why, then, are they so high? Because they are the Amazing Race: Unfinished Business’ cockroach team. They shouldn’t still be around but there they are. Also, maybe if I rank them high, the universe will eliminate them to prove me wrong. Dang, I shouldn’t have said that out loud because now it won’t happen.
3. Sisters Kisha & Jen (Season 14) – The girls are favorites of mine (actually I like all the teams remaining save for one) but I don’t think they can get past the blessed relationship train wreck of Kent & Vyxsin, who continue to defy logic and deny me the satisfaction of their elimination. I think that Kisha & Jen will simply be another better team to leave before the Goths.
4. Globetrotters Flight Time & Big Easy (Season 15) – There is no question that these guys and the cowboys were my favorites coming into this season. So, it’s clear that last week was hard to watch when the realization that one of them would be eliminated around that 20 minute mark. I feel like I have to put the Globetrotters at the bottom because they are entertaining but at least twice they have only advanced because Zev & Justin gave the answer to complete the task. As soon as the friends realize that they need to cutoff the information, then they may not be here much longer.
It’s time for us to see what awaits the teams in non-Lichtenstein (aka Switzerland).
The clock strikes 6:54 a.m. and Zev & Justin tear open their cryptic clue that merely points them to a helipad with the ominous instructions that they are about to head into the great unknown. They will their actual clue at the helicopter. Since the helicopters will be leaving no less than five minutes apart and they don’t start until 9 a.m., there is no cause for alarm by last place Globetrotters.
One-by-one they all get to the helipad, with Gary & Mallory leapfrogging over the Goths because the dating couple couldn’t get a taxi. With the physically imposing stature of a push broom, Kent begins threatening to punch somebody because numerous cabs passed by without stopping. He didn’t go there but he came close to throwing down that they were being shunned because of how they dress.
Zev & Justin are prepped for their helicopter and are handed their clue, which is a Detour. The options are Search or Rescue on the Matterhorn. Search involves them using a beacon to locate a buried dummy on a glacier. Rescue has the teams lower one member into a crevice in the glacier to hook up a person in need of rescue and then pull them out. Both of these look equally daunting but if you have a teammate who is not claustrophobic, then Rescue would be the better route. Zev & Justin disagree with my assessment and go with Search.
The winds that are whipping across the glacier are just as much of an obstacle as the digging turns out to be. Of the five teams, Gary & Mallory join them on Search, while the others are playing in their crevices. (That was written innocently but I am not compelled to make it less double entendre-y.) We have a three way race with Kent, Flight Time and Jen being lowered. With her selective hearing in full effect, Vyxsin continues to send Kent into the abyss despite Kent’s pleas to stop. Maybe the Rescue on this Detour is actually rescuing the viewers from listening to his incessant screaming.
Back to the Search, my top picks are having different levels of success, as Gary & Mallory are making quick work of the digging and Zev & Justin are proving me wrong about my earlier teamwork comment. Zev is pretty much just lying down and pathetically chipping away at snow while Justin is trying his hardest to get the dummy free. Gary accidentally separates the dummy’s torso from its legs, so he isn’t quite finished.
By the time he finishes, Kisha & Jen and Kent & Vyxsin are done with Rescue and heading to a train station. The Globetrotters are nipping on their heels and these four teams just got a break in the form of about 25 minutes because their train leaves without Zev & Justin. Who knows if that lead will actually amount to anything with a presumed Roadblock at the Le Petit Crevin restaurant? Last place is still far from a foregone conclusion.
As they arrive at the restaurant, the Roadblock is revealed to be a sorely absent Travelocity tie-in. The team member has to follow the directions and successfully create a Travelocity gnome, made entirely out of chocolate, which involves creating a very detailed mold of said gnome. As it is described by Zev (after they eventually show up), it’s basically painting with food. For the time being, the kitchen is then invaded by Vyxsin, Jen, Flight and Mallory, who opt for this Roadblock.
Let’s backtrack a minute and see Zev & Justin emulate Gary’s dissection of their dummy - meaning they are now trying to fish out the torso. Dejectedly, they realize they are the last ones at the Detour but are hopeful that someone switched tasks. With so few teams left in the competition, I think that their optimism is misguided as you can count the number of teams on one hand and you would likely notice if one was still in your vicinity.
At the Roadblock, each of the teams has a nice system going of painting one side of the mold (either the front or the back), while the other piece is hardening in the freezer.
After last place Zev has joined the Roadblock fray, the kitchen starts to heat up but not because of him. Someone grabbed the back part of Flight Time’s mold from the freezer and now he has to redo it. There is much speculation that Vyxsin grabbed the wrong one and just isn’t 'fessing up to it. Big Easy doesn’t mince words and accuses her of exactly that. Given the slo-mo edit we are given of her at the freezer earlier, I think that is an accurate accusation. The fact that everyone is neck-and-neck simply heightens the tension, I’m sure.
Back from commercial, Flight Time is displaying his kitchen prowess by overcoming the setback and is the first one to finish his mold. Now it’s off to the snow for 30 minutes for it to cool. Too bad for him that Mallory, Vyxsin and Jen are all right behind him.
While the non-playing teammates are waiting, Kent vents to the camera that Big Easy turns into a bully when they start losing and then proclaims, “I kicked your ass last leg…I are going to kick your ass again today.” Then he decides to punctuate it with a (shall I say) pseudo-racist “Word!” complete with peace hand gestures. Of course, Big Easy similarly mimics the effeminate Kent by cheering on Flight saying that his gnome looks “so pretty,” which is exactly what Kent as been saying to Vyxsin. This challenge was just full of bitterness and tension.
Well, Vyxsin is the first one done but in their haste with everyone minutes behind them, the Goths ignore the “on foot” part of their clue, despite reading it more than once, including one time to a taxi driver. So, as they scramble for a cab to take them to the random Swiss cabin/Pitstop, the others are all hoofing it up the mountain - everyone, that is, but Zev, who is still sitting in the snow with this gnome. (No entendre intended there this time.)
The Globetrotters are enthused to proclaim they went from worst to first and hit the mat as team number one with Kisha & Jen right behind them. The taxi cab fools show up in third and the joyful (for me) realization that they will get with a penalty is delivered by Phil. The Goths have to watch on the sidelines for 30 minutes before being checked in. This is the miracle that Zev & Justin must have prayed for at some point while digging a massive hole into a glacier.
Gary & Mallory have checked in as number three, while the Goths are bickering off to the side about whose fault it was misreading the clue. As expected, Kent throws out that Vyxsin read the clue first. After Zev & Justin get a Phil elimination fake out and are checked in as number four, Kent & Vyxsin are called over.
As they walk over, the deluded Kent proudly says that at least he stayed positive. This elicits Vyxsin to say, “Your version of being positive is to attack me and that’s not very encouraging or positive. It sucks.” It’s as if I had written that line for her. Thankfully, they are not spared elimination and are the latest team eliminated from the race. I can’t stop smiling.
Hmmmm, this reverse psychology thing seems to work. I might have to try it on my kids this week. Until week when we get to the two-hour finale, Happy May to you all.