This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for April 15, 2011
By Curt David
April 18, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Up 2 isn't looking nearly as magical as the original.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (You may be surprised if you rent POTC and get either Pirates Of the Caribbean or Passion Of The Christ). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... and...the movie Rio comes to theaters this week!!!!!)

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of April 15th, the movies in wide release are Scream 4 and RIO!!!!! It's going to be tough for Scream 4 to get any points this week.


Scream 4 RioWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThe fourth movie in the Scream franchise. Classic. The nickname of one of the best places on Earth: Rio de Janeiro! Dang. While I want every point to go to Rio, Scream does have a more famous title. Point for the non-Rio movie.
Best Genre
and Rating		Horror

Rated R for strong bloody violence, language, some some teenage drinking. 		Animation

Rated PG for mild off color humor. 		I've never seen "off color humor" in a genre before. At least it's mild. Point for Rio!
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"New Decade. New Rules."

The previous Scream films were all about the rules of horror movies, so this tagline is kind of clever.

3/5 stars 		"1 out of every 8 Americans are afraid of flying. Most of them don't have feathers."

Clever too, cause the main character is a bird who can't fly.

3/5 		Dang- I like both taglines; wish I wasn't a fan of the Scream genre. Well, I guess both movies can split the point.
Best Part of TrailerEverything you'd expect from a Scream movie and the line "It's for you." Looks amazing and the line "Awkward." Aw Crap- I liked the Scream trailer too. I'm going to reluctantly have both movies split the point again.
Coolest Lead ActorNeve Campbell from the first 3 Scream movies and Party of Five. The voice of Jesse Eisenberg from Facebook and Zombieland. Jesse Eisenberg is on fire after Facebook this day, which means...Rio gets another point!
Best CastAnna Paquin (True Blood), Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), David Archette (Scream), Courtney Cox (Scream and Friends), Hayden Panttiere (Heroes), and Emma Roberts (Nancy Drew) Voice of Wanda Sykes, George Lopez, Anne Hathaway (Devil Wears Prada), Jane Lynch (Glee), Jamie Foxx (Ray), Tracy Morgan (SNL), and singer Will.i.am. &*%#- voices don't usually win in this column, but I want Rio to have some more points...guess each movie will split the point again.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Wes Craven has also directed A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Hills have Eyes, and the Scream trilogy. Director Carlos Saldanha has also directed the Ice Age trilogy and Robots. &*%# times 2. I think I need to give Wes Craven the point because I have heard of him before. Does Rio have enough points to win?


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, RIO SCORES 3 and 1/2 points!!!! And...oh wait a second, shoot, I think Scream 4 also scores 3 and 1/2 points...now what?

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you don't like watching movies, feel free to stay home this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, even though it's a tie- I don't care...RIO IS THE MOVIE TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND!!!!
Conclusion 2: Having lived in Rio for 5 months, and having jumped off the exact hang gliding mountain as featured in the movie, I am stoked to see this movie opening night.
Conclusion 3: Apparently, Rio already came out in Brazil a week ago (and made some cash money). My friends in Rio said the movie was good, the American bird who was awkward hugging everybody all the time reminded them of me, and that the only minor concern is that they focused on Rio birds Samba-ing (is that a word?) too much, and that Rio de Janeiro is much more than just Samba-ing.