Trailer Hitch
By BOP Staff
April 13, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Did you just call me a &@#!!*%!!?

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Josh Spiegel: I like the first three Pirates movies, as I've said previously on this site. I'm going to see this one (casting Al Swearengen as the bad guy was a smart move), and while this trailer isn't bad - certainly, it seems a little more focused than the previous two films - it's also not incredibly badass or cool or hilarious. I'm also still wary of Rob Marshall as an action movie director, but I'm going to plunk down ten bucks on this one. I can't resist Captain Jack as an action hero.

Brett Beach: I guess the greatest compliment I can pay this trailer (though I don't mean it as one) is that many of the scenes look like exact replicas of similar moments from the first three films. "We may be starting over with a new director and new plotlines but we've got Depp and Rush and some new people and everything is gonna be a-ok." There is no money shot, unless the mere return of Jack Sparrow counts as one. I wonder if this may not pull a Shrek Goes Forth in terms of underwhelming performance.

Shalimar Sahota: Brett nailed it in that many scenes look similar to the first three films. The trailer seems to do everything right - a bit of sword-fighting, a Jack Sparrow quip, an explosion and Hans Zimmer's musical score. Yet there's little that really makes this stand out. So I guess if it ain't broke, then no one really cares about the lack of Bloom or Knightley. As much as I liked The Curse of the Black Pearl, I found the sequels to be enjoyably unnecessary. I can see this opening huge, and even if it is more of the same, audiences will be happy enough to make it the next billion-dollar earner.

David Mumpower: Like Josh, I love the Pirates franchise and consider the casting of Ian MacShane to be a masterstroke perfectly in keeping with Bill Nighy's presence in the previous two films. In addition, the news that Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom would not be returning was a huge positive for me as those two characters have no story to tell in the short term. A sequel that once again focused on them would be forced and awkward. One that places Jack Sparrow and frenemy Barbossa in a new adventure is much more engaging.

This trailer does a nice job in that first minute of reminding us why we love the character of Jack Sparrow. Then, it introduces mermaids and loses me for a while. That next sequence forcibly reminds me of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire's underwater challenge, which is not a movie I think I should be correlating to Pirates of the Caribbean. Still, there are a lot of positives in the trailer. The usage of Keith Richards, something controversial from At World's End, is exceptional here. "Was I the first?" is the perfect salacious note to sell the love/lust story. And Ian McShane was born to say, "I'm a bad man." Independent of subject matter, I would pay money to see any film that featured him saying that in the trailer. That this film is one of the biggest of the year is a foregone conclusion and this trailer does exactly what it needs to do to remind people why.

To a larger point, if I told you that there were a movie this year that starred Johnny Depp, Ian McShane, Penelope Cruz and Geoffrey Rush, is there anyone here who wouldn't want to watch it? That's two Oscar winners and two Golden Globes winners. Say what you will about the franchise, they have always prioritized acting talent with their casting decisions.

Edwin Davies: This trailer has done what I had thought nigh-impossible: it had made me interested in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise again. The series lost me about half an hour into the second one, and I didn't bother with the third, but this one seems (emphasis on "seems") to have jettisoned a lot of the dead weight that made the second film such a drag for me - Knightley and Bloom, who I generally like in most things but found mindnumbingly dull in context of the Pirates series, are both gone, they seem to be moving away from that needlessly complex mythology that they built the first three around, and they seem to have traded up by bringing in McShane and Penelope Cruz.

Actually, given that I have a huge crush on her, I'll probably see this just because Penelope Cruz is in it.

The Three Musketeers 3D

Edwin Davies: I haven't read the original novel, but I'm guessing the ninjas and flying boat are a new addition? On one level, this looks appealingly crazy. It's the sort of deliriously weird take on an overly familiar story that could be really entertaining. On the other hand, the first thing that came into my mind was "Wild Wild West", which just about says it all, really.

David Mumpower: Once a decade, someone attempts a new take on The Three Musketeers. Ten years ago, it was the Yuen Woo-ping edition, featuring enough smashed barrels to qualify for Donkey Kong videogame status. Eight years prior to that, there was the Kiefer Sutherland/Oliver Platt edition that also included the toast of Michigan, Charlie Sheen. The casting on the new one is all over the place with the good (Ray Stevenson), the bad (Orlando Bloom) and the damned weird (Matthew Macfadyen from Frost/Nixon? That Percy Jackson kid?). Still, the visuals are exactly what I expected them to be as we just went through this drill with Resident Evil: Afterlife. Paul W.S. Anderson understands the importance of visuals in making/selling a movie. I also know from watching the extra features on Resident Evil: Afterlife that cinematographer Glen MacPherson is one of the few people in the world who understands how 3D should be used in making a movie. For these reasons, I'm more interested in The Three Musketeers than I had expected and this is also the same logic I'm using in predicting it will be a Resident Evil-lite type of hit film.

Jim Van Nest: I go back and forth on this one. Before watching the trailer, my reaction was, "Seriously, another crappy Musketeers film?" Then it hit me, as long as the sword fights are innovative and cool, I'll probably still go see it. And I have to say, it looks a lot better than I expected. I'm with David though, that's just some odd casting going on there, but then again, who would have looked at Oliver Platt and said, "Oh yeah, he's a Musketeer"? What I wonder, though, is whether or not Joe Moviegoer really cares about this story anymore.

Mr. Popper's Penguins

Josh Spiegel: So, the difference between this and Alvin and the Chipmunks is that the penguins don't talk? Oh, and Jim Carrey is far too big an actor to be dancing around with penguins. I nearly forgot that. Obviously, this is just a teaser, but boy, does it look bad. I keep wanting to like what Jim Carrey does these days, but it's been a long time since 2004, when he was great in a kids' movie (Lemony Snicket) and great in a movie for adults (Eternal Sunshine). He needs to figure out what worked in 2004 and replicate it, because it sure wasn't this.

Brett Beach: I am more impressed with Carla Gugino's willingness/ease at going from movies like Elektra Luxx and Sucker Punch to this and Night at the Museum than with Carrey's attempt to infuse some juice into his career with something like this for the kid market. But even for Gugino, I can't force myself to watch two hours of penguin jokes. Depending on how the summer is rolling, this will be big...or dead.

Kim Hollis: Well, I remember loving this book and reading it about a million times as a kid. With that said, I see nothing in this trailer that remotely relates to that story - other than the fact that there is a guy named Popper and he has some penguins. It should look horrible to any self-respecting adult, but I have a feeling that the kiddies might eat it up. It will be easier to tell with a full trailer, I think. The damn dance is deplorable.