This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for April 8, 2011
By Curt David
April 8, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

I was totally gonna make fun of her hat until I noticed the arrows
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Be careful which version of Jack Frost you rent). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... one more week until the movie Rio comes to theaters!!!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of April 8th, the movies in wide release are Arthur, Hanna, Soul Surfer, and Your Highness.



Arthur Hanna Soul Surfer Your Highness WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleIs this about King Arthur? Ooh ooh, or about the Aardvark from the children's books? It's a nice name, and one of my coolest friends, but don't know any famous ones. This movie is going to be about surfing, so that's pretty cool. Will be about royalty, title suggests it'll probably be a comedy. The only thing I am 100% sure about is that Soul Surfer will have some surfing in it- Point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy

Rated PG-13 for alcohol use throughout, sexual content, language, and some drug references. 		Action/Thriller

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, some sexual material, and language. 		Sport/Drama

Rated PG for an intense accident sequence and some thematic material. 		Comedy

Rated R for strong crude sexual content, pervasive language, nudity, language, and drug use. 		Wow, I was wrong about Arthur. Point goes to Soul Surfer for the first live-action movie of 2011 that isn't going to corrupt your mind.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"Meet the world's only loveable billionaire"

Tagline doesn't do it for me. Why do I want to meet a loveable billionaire?

1/5 stars 		"Young. Sweet. Innocent. Deadly."

A child assassin! Awesome plot.

3/5 		"When you come back from a loss, beat the odds, and never say never, you find a champion"

That's like 10 taglines all in one- too long.

2/5 		This Spring, prepare for their excellency.

Slightly anticipatory.

1/5 		Tagline. Point. Winner. Hanna.
Best Part of TrailerJennifer Garner's in this film?!?!?! She looks good. So does Helen Mirren. I haven't been this excited about a trailer since I saw Salt! This looks Blind Side- inspirational good. Funny in a dirty, inappropriate way. A second week in a row of good trailers. Hanna murders the competition- point.
Coolest Lead ActorRussell Brand from Get Him to the Greek and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Saoirse Ronan from The Lovely Bones and Atonement. AnnaSophia Robb from Bridge to Terabithia, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Because of Winn-Dixie. James Franco from 127 Hours and the Spiderman trilogy. Shoot, AnnaSophia and Saoirse are going places. For now, though, James Franco will win this point.
Best CastHelen Mirren (Red), Jennifer Garner (Alias), and Nick Nolte (I Love Trouble) Eric Bana (Star Trek) and Cate Blanchett (Lord of the Rings) Helen Hunt (Mad About You), Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow), and singer Carrie Underwood. Danny McBride (Pineapple Express), Natalie Portman (Black Swan), and Zooey Deschanel (Elf) These are famous people. All four movies will split the point for the Best Cast.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Jason Winer also directed Modern Family. Director Joe Wright also directed Atonement and Pride & Prejudice. Director Sean McNamara has also directed several Disney channel shows. Director David Gordon also directed Pineapple Express. I believe Mr. Wright has the best street cred this week.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Hanna scores 3 and 1/4 points, Soul Surfer scores 2 and 1/4 points, Your Highness scores 1 and 1/4 points, and Arthur scores 1/4 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like R-rated comedies, feel free to watch Your Highness. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Hanna is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Helen Mirren. Jennifer Garner. Zooey Deschanel. Natalie Portman. That's all. I 've got nothing to say. I just wanted to think about them one more time.
Conclusion 3: Seriously, the movie "Rio" comes out next week!