This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for April 1, 2011
By Curt David
April 1, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of April 1st, the movies in wide release are Hop, Insidious, and Source Code.
| Hop | Insidious | Source Code | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | The definition of Hop is "to make a short, bouncing leap." | Insidious is to be "stealthily treacherous or deceitful." | Source Code is "the original format of a computer program before it is converted." | These titles aren't telling me anything about the movies. At least Insidious sounds cool, so point for that movie. |
| Best Genre and Rating | Comedy Rated PG for some mild rude humor. | Horror
Rated PG-13 for thematic material, violence, terror and frightening images, and brief strong language. | Action/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for some violence including disturbing images, and for language. | While I like mild rude humor as much as the next guy, I'm a bigger sucker for the Thriller genre. Point for Source code. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | "Candy, Chicks, and Rock n' Roll"
Haha! Chicks sounds indecent, but it's a movie about Easter! 4/5 stars | "It's not the house that's haunted."
Creepy, especially on the poster with the devil kid. 3/5 | "Make every second count."
Yawn. 0/5 | Every sentence sounds innocent at Easter time...I love chicks...I want all the chicks I can get...Hop scores this round. |
| Best Part of Trailer | What should have been the worst trailer in the history of the world (based on plot/poster), sold me by the end. Cute. | What should have been a bland horror trailer actually gave me a Paranormal Activity-interesting vibe. | BAM! It's another day-is-repeating-type movie, but who doesn't love those? | Good week for trailers. Source Code wins out for the best trailer (even if I don't understand the science behind it). |
| Coolest Lead Actor | James Marsden from the X-Men trilogy and Enchanted. | Patrick Wilson from The Phantom of the Opera, Watchmen, and Little Children. | Jake Gyllenhaal from Prince of Persia, Donnie Darko, and The Day After Tomorrow. | Impressive group of men. I say that platonically. Jake barely wins the point for the Best Actor. |
| Best Cast | With Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately), a cameo by David Hasselhoff, and the voices of Hank Azaria (Simpsons) and Russell Brand (Get Him to the Greek). | I didn't recognize anyone else in the cast. | Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air) and Michelle Monaghan (Mission Impossible III) | Chicks dig big casts. Hop wins the point this round. |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Tim Hill also directed Alvin and the Chipmunks and Garfield. | Producer Jason Blum also produced Paranormal Activity I and II, and The Reader. | Producer Jeb Brody also produced Little Miss Sunshine and Sunshine Cleaning. | Insidious's trailer said, "From the producers of Paranormal Activity and Saw," which is enough street cred to take this point. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Source Code scores 3 points, Hop scores 2 points, and Insidious scores 2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked Despicable Me, please feel free to watch Hop this weekend (same creators). However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Source Code is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Thank you Dictionary.com for providing for my definition needs.
Conclusion 3: Seriously, the movie Rio comes out in two weeks.