This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for March 25, 2011
By Curt David
March 25, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

They're here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. Forunately, they have several packs.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Monster's Ball, Monster, and Monsters Inc all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... three weeks until the movie Rio comes to theaters!!!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of March 25th, the movies in wide release are Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules and Sucker Punch.



Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules Sucker Punch WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleOoh la la, is this a sequel to the last Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie? Ooh la la, is this a....I don't know, but it has a cool title. Unfortunately the point is for clarity not coolness, so Rodrick will win this point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy

Rated PG for some mild rude humor and mischief. 		Action

Rated PG-13 for some thematic material involving sexuality, violence, and combat sequences, and for language 		Every movie has the parental guidelines of Sucker Punch these days, but it's the first time I ever typed "mischief" in this column...point for the Wimpy Kid.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		Welcome to the Next Grade

Catchy, because it's a sequel to a movie about middle-school.

3/5 stars 		You will be Unprepared

I like the declarative and brash statement about myself.

3/5 		Dear Diary, I don't know which movie has the better tagline, I guess they'll both split the point.
Best Part of TrailerLet down. I thought the trailer to the first movie was amazing! This one was alright. Samurais, robots, dragons, fighting, pretty girls, and perhaps a good plot. Sucker Punch gave out a sucker punch this round and got the point.
Coolest Lead ActorZachary Gordon was the lead actor in the first Wimpy Kid movie. Emily Browning was from the Lemony Snicket movie. I don't really know either of these actors, but they both seem cool- they'll split the point.
Best CastSteve Zahn (Sahara and Rescue Dawn) Jena Malone (Stepmom), Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical), and Jon Hamm (Mad Men) Not the best week for famous casts, but Sucker Punch will take the win.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director David Bowers has also directed Astro Boy and Flushed Away. Writer and Director Zack Snyder has also written and directed 300. Zack Snyder can definitely make a stylish looking movie- wins the point for Best Street Cred.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Sucker Punch wins 4 points and Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules wins 3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you know who "Rowley" is, please feel free to watch Diary this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Sucker Punch is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: The first time I heard the phrase "Sucker Punch" is from the song Suckerpunch by Five Iron Frenzy- check it out.
Conclusion 3: Seriously, the movie Rio comes out in three weeks.