The Amazing Race All-Stars Recap
By Daron Aldridge
March 7, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
With a full leg of their second chance season behind them, here is my take on the remaining teams' chances of winning.
1. Best friends Zev & Justin (Season 15) – The guys have proven early that they can deliver, race smart and finish first. I think they are the team to beat as of now.
2. (tie) Cowboys Jet & Cord (Season 16) – Back in my good graces are the brothers for the sole reason that they crawled back from a last place finish at the “faux Pitstop” and horrendous racing prior to it to land in third place. And Globetrotters Flight Time & Big Easy (Season 15) – The basketball players have shown they can still compete and compete smart. Their fun yet competitive spirit is what makes them a threat.
3. Sisters Kisha & Jen (Season 14) – The girls have shown they can do well during the race but when it comes to the Pitstop, they fumbled again. It was not due to one of them taking a potty break but rather them getting passed yards from the mat because their packs were too heavy for the footrace. Still, they are my only bet for a female presence in the final three.
4. (tie) Mother/son Margie & Luke (Season 14) and NFL cheerleaders Jaime & Cara (Season 14) – Until they prove me otherwise, I will continue to treat these as one team. Margie & Luke did place higher than the cheerleaders but all it takes is one shared flight and they return to co-dependent bliss.
5. Father/son Mel & Mike (Season 14) – I knew I shouldn’t have believed the previews last week. Mel just needed a little rest and he was back in action. The father and son may prove to be a sleeper team but I still fear that Mel won’t have the stamina to make it to the end.
6. Goth couple Kent & Vyxsin (Season 12) – The Goths haven’t shown us any reason to think they are actually going to go the distance this time around.
7. (tie)Father/daughter Gary & Mallory (Season 17) and Father/Daughter Ron & Christina (Season 12) – The former is one team that I didn’t expect much from and they lived up to those low expectations. The latter is a team that is not replicating their performance from before that landed them in second place at the finish. One of these teams should be gone this week.
All right, picking up where we left off, let’s turn to the immortal words of Men At Work’s "Down Under," “You better run, you better take cover." Focusing on the "run" part, here we go. The teams may have hit the mat in a mining town but all the teams are then taken on an overnight train ride back to Sydney. It’s like they had a rolling rest stop.
One by one the teams leave the Pitstop with only 30 minutes separating first (Zev & Justin at 11:57 a.m.) and last (Ron & Christina at 12:28 p.m.). The clue directs them to fly from Sydney to Tokyo. Despite them employing different methods for bookings (straight to the airport counter, through a travel agent or using Amazing Race sponsor Travelocity’s site), there are only two options – a direct flight that gets in a 6:15 a.m. or a connecting flight through Hong Kong that gets in 15 minutes earlier.
There is much debate about the merits of each but I have to side with the teams that like the assurance of no delays with the connection. So, if I was racing I would be on the same plane as the Globetrotters, the cowboys, Gary & Mallory, Ron & Christina and Kisha & Jen. Oh, and I would be hating life, too, because Mallory is essentially channeling Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
As the other flight lands in Hong Kong...wait for it...there is a problem with one of the engines and “They’re unsure of exactly how long it’s going to take to fix it.” So basically Murphy’s Law has jurisdiction well beyond the US borders. It looks like a good time for a commercial break and in case this was the incentive you need, CBS Cares about you getting a colonoscopy.
Back on the tarmac, Zev gives us a report that they have been sitting there for over an hour and there is no update on when they are leaving. On the other flight, apparently the captain knows that they are racing because he announces over the loud speaker that their flight will now be the first one to arrive, which it does as scheduled at 6:15 a.m. The teams dart out of the airport to a parking garage/vending machine to get their clue and transportation. As you can imagine, a car can’t be too big to fit in one of these parking structures and there isn’t much chance that the nearly seven feet of Big Easy will comfortably cram into a Nissan Versa.
The teams have to drive themselves through Tokyo to the Yabusame Dojo. The roads and signage aren’t exactly easily to navigate or read to a bunch of Americans. Father Ron & patient daughter Christina get helpful directions from a fellow driver but Ron complains that this person may have just sent them in the wrong direction. Angry Dad Ron really needs to dial down the surliness and trust his daughter, who will be the only reason they get anywhere in this race. Gary & Mallory, the Globetrotters and Kisha & Jen are also making their way to the dojo but behind Ron & Christina. Jet & Cord on the other hand have driven in the completely wrong direction. Upon realizing they should have been going south, they adjust their course and just drive south, apparently hoping to stumble on the dojo.
By now the second flight has arrived a little over an hour later. Four of the five teams questionably decide to caravan to the next route marker. The odd team out is Zen & Justin, who use their own map and blow past these teams as they powwow on the side of the road. Mel & Mike convince Margie & Luke to just follow them and leave the cheerleaders and Goths behind. As Mike accurately points out, “It doesn’t make sense for all of us to caravan. We are the last four.”
At the dojo, Ron has chosen the Roadblock and it looks quite intricate. The person has to learn a Yabusame Ritual including the stretching form, holding a bow and arrow and then shooting a target while on a wooden horse that slowly spins around. We quickly learn than that the judges of their form and technique are sticklers for details.
Joining Ron in the dojo are Gary, Jen and Flight Time. Not long after they are in there, Zev & Justin have successfully caught up to them and Justin elects to do the Roadblock. Many, many failed attempts on the part of Ron, Gary and Flight are finally broken up by a successful completion by Jen, who is now in first place. Their clue directs them to drive themselves to a railway station in another town and find a Kintaro Statue. Even though he was the last one of this batch of teams to arrive, Justin finishes, putting them in second place but Gary follows him out the door, so second and third are only a matter of minutes, maybe seconds, apart.
As they depart, Mel & Mike, Margie & Luke and Kent & Vyxsin are on the scene with the two sons and the boyfriend stepping up for the task. As they suit up, Flight Time with some style and flourish and Ron with no style or flourish complete the task. Also, our cowpokes have traveled south far enough and are at the dojo with only the cheerleaders not present and accounted for. Cord volunteers for the Roadbloack.
As for the Jaime & Cara, they are learning the hard way how not to drive in Japanese traffic. Jaime flirts too much with crossing the white line and clips the mirror of another car in traffic. It looks like very minor damage but instead accepting her offer of cash for the damages, the other driver decides the police need to be called to the scene. Not a lot to cheer about for Jaime & Cara. (Maybe I should save that one for the end of the leg in case the girls are eliminated.) It’s commercial break time and word from our sponsor...Scientology???
Back at the scene of the crime, the police are there and have resolved the accident issue. The girls are on the way.
Meanwhile, Zev & Justin and Gary & Mallory are the first ones at the Kintaro Statue. The clue for this leg’s Detour is for Purity or Luck. For Purity, the teams have to learn a Shinto prayer with movements and then stand under a waterfall with 45 degree temperature waters coming straight off Mt. Fuji. For Luck, they have to strip down to their skivvies and search a giant mud pit for a frog the size of your hand. To make it more challenging they will be pelted with mud by onlookers. Once again, I would opt for the task that doesn’t require luck and this time it is even explicitly in the name of the task. Going against my wishes, Zev & Justin and Gary & Mallory go for Luck.
The Globetrotters and Ron & Christina arrive next and choose Purity while Kisha & Jen finally arrive thanks to their directions from a funeral home director. They also opt for Luck. Back at the dojo, the cheerleaders have decided to show up without any more vehicular carnage and Jaime chooses to do the Roadblock. All the others in the dojo are finishing the task as she gets ready.
With a glimpse at the polar opposites of this Detour as Zev & Justin and Gary & Mallory don essentially diapers and gauze while crawling in mud and the Globetrotters and Ron & Christina are each dressed in white gi and chanting. I stand by my choice of Purity at this point. The father and daughter apparently are afraid of pulling a Zev & Justin by losing their travel documents and carry their fanny pack with them.
Justin finds the frog first and trades it for their clue and they are now headed to the pitstop in first place again but Gary finds their frog, so they aren’t far behind. This seems to be there pattern all day.
As Zev & Justin leave and Gary & Mallory get cleaned off, Kisha & Jen dive right into the mud. Margie & Luke and Jet & Cord get their Detour clue next in sixth and seventh place respectively. On their heels are Ken & Vyxsin and Mel & Mike. All of these teams choose Luck.
So, here’s where we stand, all the teams have completed a Detour, are at a Detour or on their way to a Detour, except the girls who are still at the Roadblock. Unless Jaime & Cara can pull out a miraculous finish, it is looking like the cheerleaders’ elimination is a foregone conclusion. While Mike expresses his desire to beat Jaime & Cara, they cut to Jaime successfully completing the Roadblock after what seems to be the most failed attempts.
Flight & Easy are a stage ahead of Ron & Christina at Purity and complete it first. In their apparent haste to get moving, the Globetrotters pick up Christina’s fanny pack with their own backpacks. Realizing the error, they leave it behind in the changing room with Ron’s stuff. Of course, Christina gets out of the waterfall and is on the verge of tears that the bag is gone. Cue the slow motion and go to commercial.
In full Angry Dad mode, Ron discovers it in the changing room and he thinks they did it on purpose. That seems a bit off because it doesn’t seem like very effective sabotage to grab a bag and actually put it with the person’s other belongings.
A pantless Justin stops for directions as he and Zev are still jockeying with Gary & Mallory for first place. Kisha & Jen are in fifth behind the Purity teams as they find their luck frog and hit the road. Of course, with the exception of the cheerleaders, the rest of the teams are at the Luck task. Thanks to so many of them choosing Luck, we are "treated" to seeing much more of these racers than we really wanted to. By far the most attractive team is still securely in last place as Jaime & Cara get their Detour clue and go with Luck. Jet & Cord are the first team of this big bunch to find the frog and head to the Pitstop.
As night starts to fall, Zev & Justin hit the mat and are repeat first place finishers. In mudville, Vyxsin continues to carry Kent as she finds the frog and when asked if she thought the mud was cold, she replies, “No, because I was working hard.” Zing. Take that Kent.
Margie also finds the frog for her team. Mel & Mike are the only ones left and the fatigue is starting to show for...Mike? That’s right. Mel is hanging in there but Mike is losing steam and gaining frustration. Mike is worried for his dad but Mel sums up his drive with “I’d rather die here than at home in bed.” That is some sheer willpower and passion right there, folks. Take a lesson all you Survivor wieners that quit.
Gary & Mallory are checked in as team number two. Even though the Globetrotters are initially checked in as team number three, Christina tells Phil about the fanny pack mistake and explains that even if they did it on accident they should have brought it back down when they realized the error. Seemingly on the spot but I suspect he had more information, Phil penalizes Flight & Easy 30 minutes, which puts Ron & Christina as number three now and the Globetrotters are in limbo. This is extreme in my mind, especially not hearing Flight & Easy’s side. But we aren’t privy to all the rules the racers have to adhere to and there might be something specifically about that.
Kisha & Jen get the benefit of this penalty too as they are checked in at number four. We have to assume that Flight & Easy are checked in at some point after the sisters because the next time we see Phil, he is greeting Jet & Cord as team number six.
At Luck...rather NOT at Luck, the cheerleaders get closer to the Detour and they may still have a chance because Mike has all but quit on the challenge and left his 70-year-old dad to do the work. He does convince Mel to go to the ambulance standing by to get warmed up. While they are out of the challenge, Jaime & Cara have finally arrived, changed and started the search.
Shivering, Kent & Vyxsin hit the mat as number seven. A short time later, now it’s raining and Margie & Luke arrive at Phil for an eighth place finish.
It appears that leaving the mud to get warm has only made it worse for Mel & Mike as they are nowhere close to getting back in the mud. This gives the cheerleaders the window of opportunity to pass them; even though they are unaware they are no longer in last place. The girls are stunned to hear that they are not eliminated and will continue on with the race.
Of course, that only leaves Mel & Mike as the team eliminated this week. As Mike sums up his dad, “He will never quit, so sometimes you have to quit for him.” Mike was legitimately concerned for his father and chose to get him out of the mud knowing it would eliminate them. He put his dad before the race.
Next week should be extremely fun with a very special Super Angry Dad meltdown from Ron and the Goths lost in China.