This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for March 4, 2011
By Curt David
March 4, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Yup, that was an F-bomb that Melissa Leo dropped....
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, The General's Daughter, Coal Miner's Daughter, Ryan's Daughter, and First Daughter all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... six weeks until the movie "Rio" comes to theaters!!!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of March 4th, the movies in wide release are The Adjustment Bureau, Beastly, Rango, and Take Me Home Tonight.


The Adjustment Bureau Beastly Rango Take Me Home Tonight Winner
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThe definition of Bureau is either "a division of a government department," or "a chest of drawers, often with a mirror at the top." Beastly: "nasty, unpleasant, of or like a beast." Rango- actually this word isn't in the dictionary All these words are in the dictionary, together they seem to have innuendo. None of the titles are clear in any way, so why not give the point to the indecipherable title Rango? It sounds interesting.
Best Genre
and Rating		Thriller

Rated PG-13 for strong language, some sexuality, and a violent image. 		Fantasy

Rated PG-13 for crude comments, brief violence, and some thematic material. 		Animation

Rated PG for rude humor, language, action, and smoking. 		Comedy/Drama

Rated R for language, sexual content, and drug use. 		One of my biggest pet peeves is when movies with the same genre are released in one weekend.* Well done you four- 1/4th point each.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"Fight for your fate."

Fighting and fate and alliteration- decent tagline.

3/5 stars 		"It's what's underneath."

Good moral for a romance, also like the double use of apostrophes.

2/5 		"Johnny Depp is Rango."

This isn't a tagline.

0/5 		Best. Night. Ever.

Epic tagline, especially with the excess punctuation.

1/5 		Little disappointed this week with the selection- I guess the Adjustment Bureau will take the point.
Best Part of TrailerMaybe not the most believable plot, but the A-list actors make this look awesome! Maybe not the best script, but it looked fine for a tween version of Beauty and the Beast. Maybe not comparable to a Pixar film, but I really liked this trailer. Maybe not that funny, but it could have some heart. Rango has the best trailer of all the movies, and it seems also to have the best plot, most action, and funniest moments.
Coolest Lead ActorMatt Damon from The Departed, Good Will Hunting, and The Bourne movies. Vanessa Hudgens from the High School Musical movie trilogy. The voice of Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands, and Alice in Wonderland. Topher Grace from Spider-Man 3 and That 70s Show. Matt Damon also from True Grit, Invictus, Saving Private Ryan, and Ocean's Eleven, will take this point.
Best CastEmily Blunt (Devil Wears Prada) and a cameo from Jon Stewart (The Daily Show). Alex Pettyfer (I am Number Four), Mary-Kate Olsen (Full House), and Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother). Voices of Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers), Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine), and others. Anna Faris (Just Friends) and Ginnifer Goodwin (He's Just Not That Into You). Beastly wins the point for Best Cast, pretty much due to Neil Patrick Harris' involvement.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Writer and Director George Nolfi also wrote The Bourne Ultimatum and Oceans 12. Writer and Director Daniel Barnz also wrote and directed Phoebe in Wonderland. Writer and Director Gore Verbinski also directed The Ring and The Pirates movie. Actor Topher Grace has "Story By" credits on this movie! I like how 3 of these guys wrote AND directed their movies, but George Nolfi has the most street cred.


*I need to get a life.

So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Adjustment Bureau scores 3 and 1/2 points, Rango scores 2 and 1/4 points, Beastly scores 1 and 1/4 points, and Take Me Home Tonight scores 1 and 1/4 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you listen to Taylor Swift, please feel free to watch Beastly this weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Adjustment Bureau is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: However, I also think Rango would be a good choice as well.
Conclusion 3: I just saw Easy A this weekend. It was spectacularly awesome.