This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for February 11, 2011
By Curt David
February 11, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

They're about to get the Flamingo Treatment
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, The Prince of Egypt, The Prince of Tides, and Prince of Persia all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I have a crush on the city of Rio de Janeiro... nine weeks until the movie "Rio" comes to theaters!!!!!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of February 11th, the movies in wide release are The Eagle, Gnomeo and Juliet, Just Go with It, and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never.



The Eagle Gnomeo and Juliet Just Go with It Justin Bieber: Never Say Never WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis is a very popular and majestic animal, but not sure of the plot of this movie. Hahaha, favorite title so far this year- Gnomeo! This nondescript title isn't telling me anything. Very popular artist and song. Despite my love for the Shakespeare gnome, the clearest title point goes to JBiebs.
Best Genre
and Rating		Adventure

Rated PG-13 for battle sequences and some disturbing images. 		Animation

Rated G (I couldn't find the reasons why, but it doesn't matter, because it's rated G) 		Romantic Comedy

Rated PG-13 for frequent crude and sexual content, partial nudity, brief drug references, and language. 		Music Documentary

Rated G (maybe G movies don't say why it got the rating because they are so tame?) 		No movies ever get the G rating anymore- Gnomeo and The Bieb will split the point.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		N/A

Come on Eagle- this was probably your last round to win a point.

0/5 stars 		"A little adventure goes a lawn way"

HAHAHA! The garden gnomes are having adventures that go a LAWN way! Amazing.

5/5 		"Sometimes you need a girl, to get the girl"

That's so true...wait a second, I don't know if I can actually relate to that... 		"Find out what's possible if you never give up."

Girls under the age of 16 find this quote extremely inspirational. 		Bwahahaha, gnomes are little, and their little adventures go lawn ways! hahaha - taglines like this is why I started this column in the first place. Point for Gnomeo.
Best Part of TrailerInteresting slave becomes master and who really are the good guys themes. Talking garden gnomes, sassy frog, Shakespeare, what more could you ask for? Jennifer Aniston- she's so likeable. It's wholesome and inspirational. This was a good week for trailers. Just Go with It barely will win the point.
Coolest Lead ActorChanning Tatum from Step Up, Dear John, and G. I. Joe. James McAvoy from Wanted, Atonement, and The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe. Adam Sandler from Waterboy, Happy Gilmore, and Big Daddy. Justin Bieber from pop stations, Twitter, and the walls of every teenage girl's bedroom. Perhaps Justin Bieber will be the bigger movie star after this weekend, but for now Adam Sandler wins the point for Best Actor.
Best CastDonald Sutherland (The Italian Job) and Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot). The voices of Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, Jason Statham, Ozzy Osbourne, Patrick Stewart, Hulk Hogan, and Dolly Parton. Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, Rachel Dratch (SNL), musician Dave Matthews, and tennis player Andy Roddick. Musicians: Boys II Men, Miley Cyrus, Ludacris, Usher, and Jaden Smith. Usually animated films don't win best cast, but Hulk Hogan AND Dolly Parton? Another point for Gnomeo.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Kevin Macdonald has also directed State of Play and The Last King of Scotland. Director Kelly Asbury has also directed Shrek 2 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron. Director Dennis Dugan has also directed Happy Gilmore, Beverly Hills Ninja, Big Daddy, and many other Sandler films. Director Jon Chu has also directed Step Up 2 and Step Up 3D. Mr. Dugan has also directed episodes of NYPD Blue, Ally McBeal, Chicago Hope, Picket Fences, and Doogie Howser, M.D. He wins the point for Best Street Cred.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Just Go With It scores 3 points, Gnomeo and Juliet scores 2 and 1/2 points, Justin Bieber scores 1 and 1/2 points, and The Eagle scores 0 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you have seen Dear John, please feel free to see The Eagle. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Just Go With It is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: My favorite Adam Sandler movie is Mr. Deeds.
Conclusion 3: Hahahaha, LAWN WAY! Haha!
Conclusion 4: Do you want to watch a surprisingly good romantic comedy? Go rent Morning Glory, have low expectations, and then be very impressed with the movie as a whole.