TiVoPlex
By John Seal
January 17, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 1/18/11
2:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Siege of the Saxons (1963 GB): Merlin must save Camelot from perfidious Saxons in this entertaining blend of fantasy and historical fiction (with the emphasis heavily on "fiction"). After good King Arthur (Mark Dignam) pops his clogs, true heir to the throne Katharine (The Day of the Triffids’ Janette Scott) goes underground, leaving the kingdom in the hands of rotter Edmund of Cornwall (Ronald Howard). But Merlin (John Laurie) has other ideas regarding the line of succession: he knows the throne belongs only to the man or woman who can remove the sacred sword Excalibur from the stone in which it is set, a task which may prove beyond Edmund’s abilities. Siege of the Saxons was produced by Charles Schneer as a second-feature to accompany Jason and the Argonauts (both films were directed by Nathan Juran), and was shot at Bray Studios — though it’s not a Hammer production. Though never boring, it’s no lost classic either, but this does mark its TCM premiere.
4:30 AM Fox Movie Channel
Accent on Love (1941 USA): George Montgomery plays a rich man experiencing hard times in this rarely seen Fox rom-com. George is silver-spooned John Hyndman, who decides life with trophy wife Linda (Cobina Wright) is more trouble than it’s worth. He drops off the grid one day and takes up with a group of immigrant ditch-diggers, including J. Carrol Naish (but sadly not John Qualen) who teach him important lessons about life, love, and outrageous comedy accents. Though nothing special, the film marked the film debut of Sergeant Shultz himself, John Banner, and also features an uncredited appearance by comedy legend Mantan Moreland.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Screen Directors Playhouse marathon: TCM’s tribute to producer Hal Roach delivers something really special this week: ten episodes of the forgotten NBC television series Screen Directors Playhouse, which ran for one season in 1955. A spin-off from a popular radio show, the Playhouse’s gimmick was combining the talents of contemporary film stars and veteran directors — many of whom had begun their careers during the silent era — in original, written for TV stories. As a result, these programs — which have not been shown publicly since their original airings in 1955, despite the wishful fantasies of late IMDb confabulist F. Gwynplaine MacIntyre — include work by Frank Borzage, Allan Dwan, Leo McCarey, John Ford, and relative newcomers Ida Lupino and Fred Zinnemann, and feature rarer than rare performances by Robert Ryan, John Wayne, Errol Flynn, Dennis Hopper, Peter Lorre, and many, many others. Nothing else in this week’s TiVoPlex really matters: your life will not be complete if you miss a single episode of Screen Directors Playhouse!
6:45 AM Flix
Assassination (1987 USA): Secret Service agent Jay Killon (Charles Bronson) has been protecting the President of the United States but is reassigned to First Lady duties in this predictable but passable Cannon production. Convinced he’s been demoted, Killon considers his new job an insult to his manhood, and matters are made worse when he discovers that Mrs. POTUS (real-life Bronson spouse Jill Ireland) is a complete pain in the tuckus. An incident during a parade, however, suggests her life may really be in danger, and Killon’s professionalism trumps his desire to wring her neck. Will he track down her would-be killer, or will the would-be killer get to her first? More importantly, will Flix continue its recent predilection for all things widescreen and air Assassination in its correct aspect ratio?
Wednesday 1/19/11
9:45 AM Encore Love Stories
Zebrahead (1992 USA): I really loved this film back in 1992, but have the troubling feeling it won’t have aged particularly well. I’m hoping I’m wrong, of course, but you might want to take this recommendation with a larger than normal grain of salt. Michael Rappaport stars as Zack, a white Detroiter whose predilection for black culture has earned him the titular sobriquet. When Zack falls for his African-American best friend’s cousin Nikki (N’Bushe Wright), however, his skin tone attracts the disapproving attention of Nikki’s mother (Marsha Florence) and local hardman Nut (Ron Johnson), neither of whom approve of interracial dating. Meanwhile, Zack’s father (Ray Sharkey) is an alcoholic womanizer keen on getting into Nikki’s pants, and Zack learns the hard way that "the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice" is not necessarily the best adage by which to live your life. Shot on location, this independently-produced drama features a score by Taj Mahal and marked the film debut of young Jon Seda (The Pacific). Here’s hoping it’s as good as I remember it.
7:00 PM Sundance
Cass (2008 GB): Nonsie Anozie plays a Jamaican-born Brit who rises to the top of the football hooligan underworld in this solid biopic written and directed by Jon Baird. Anozie plays the titular Cass, abandoned by his birth parents in infancy, adopted by a white couple, and raised in the searing heat of constant and casual working-class racism. Hardened on the terraces of West Ham United F.C., Cass ends up in charge of the notorious Inter City Club, a predominantly Anglo gang of louts who don’t think twice about getting into a ruck. After serving two terms in prison, Cass opens his own security company in an effort to go straight, but in classic fashion finds it hard to put his old life behind him. Based on Cass Pennant’s autobiography, this is far superior to your average Guy Ritchie geezer-thon and provides fascinating insights into what it was like to be young, British, and black in the 1960s and ‘70s.
Thursday 1/20/11
12:50 AM Cinemax
D.C. Cab (1983 USA): I pity the fool who doesn’t get a kick out of this goofy comedy starring Mr. T. The mohicaned one headlines as Samson, a driver employed at a second-rate Washington cab company operated by Harold (Barney Miller’s Max Gail). Fellow cabbie Albert (Adam Baldwin) has dreams of starting his own, somewhat more upscale operation, but when he’s kidnapped his plan, naturally, is put on ice. It’s up to his rag-tag band of colleagues — including T., Gary Busey, Bill Maher, and Paul Rodriguez — to rescue him and allow his dream to come to fruition. Directed by Joel Schumacher before he hit the big time and co-starring David and Peter Paul (aka The Barbarian Brothers) and the legendary Timothy Carey, D.C. Cab is a great way to while away 90 minutes on a long winter’s night. Also airs at 3:50 AM.
3:00 AM IFC
Project A (1983 HK): One of the more readily available of Jackie Chan’s Hong Kong-lensed eighties actioners, Project A will (hopefully) be getting a widescreen airing on IFC this morning (a print in the original Chinese is probably a dream too far). This time out Jackie portrays Dragon, a Coast Guard officer doing battle with the notorious pirates of villain Lor Sam (Dick Wei). The action is wall-to-wall, Chan is in top form, Wei makes for an absolutely brilliant baddie, and Sammo Hung provides admirable support in his usual role of comedic sidekick.
5:00 PM Sundance
Carlos (2010 FRA): Director Olivier Assayas’ magisterial three-part depiction of the life and times of the infamous Carlos the Jackal actually debuted on Sundance last week, but thanks to the inadequacies of the channel’s online schedule I overlooked it. Sorry about that, but better late than never! Edgar Ramirez (The Bourne Ultimatum, Steven Soderbergh’s Che) plays the man born Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, a Venezuelan "revolutionary" remembered best for leading an attack on an OPEC summit in 1975. Assayas portrays Carlos as an egotistical blowhard more interested in his own legend than in the liberation of oppressed peoples — and apparently Carlos himself, currently serving time in France for murder, isn’t too impressed with the way he’s depicted herein. Nonetheless, the film gets my heartiest recommendation — just be prepared for its butt-numbing five and a half hour running time.
Friday 1/21/11
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
City Streets (1931 USA): Gary Cooper stars as a carny in this forgotten, unavailable on home video near-classic directed by the great Rouben Mamoulian. Based on a story by Dashiell Hammett, the film features Coop as The Kid, operator of a sideshow shooting gallery. Gal pal Nan (Sylvia Sidney) urges him to join the mob so he can earn some easy money, but The Kid isn’t interested — even though Nan’s father (Guy Kibbee, not playing to type for once) is a big-time hood who could make life easy for him. When Nan is arrested whilst trying to dispose of a murder weapon, however, The Kid has second thoughts: she’ll need a lot of money to pay for an expensive lawyer. What, Dad won’t pony up for his own child? As far-fetched as this sounds, the film is visually stunning and has been compared favorably to Josef von Sternberg’s silent classic Underworld (1927). Mamoulian’s next film was the since unsurpassed Fredric March version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
11:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
Bloody Birthday (1981 USA): It’s due for a deluxe DVD reissue later this year via Severin Films, but if you can’t wait, here’s an airing of this much loved chiller in tonight’s TCM Underground. Bloody Birthday relates the misadventures of three lovable children born under a bad sign — or more accurately, a solar eclipse that somehow plants evil thoughts in the tiny tykes’ noggins. Before you can say Bob the Builder, the trio are leaving behind a trail of victims, and its up to spunky heroine Joyce Russel (Lori Lethin) and brother Timmy (K.C. Martel) to end the reign of tot terror. The lovely, talented, and tragically no longer with us Susan Strasberg is Viola Davis, one of the play-group’s early victims, whilst Jose Ferrer depicts the doctor who brought them all into the world. Can you say ‘malpractice suit’, children?
Saturday 1/22/11
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dig That Uranium (1955 USA): This mediocre Bowery Boys entry — chapter 40 of their seemingly endless series — premiered on Christmas Day 1955. Now, I can think of a few things I’d enjoy doing on Christmas Day, but paying to see Slip and Sach on the big screen probably isn’t one of them, especially at this palsied point in their misadventures. This time out the lads go west to buy a uranium mine and the usual assortment of bad guys and grifters try to pry the hot rocks away from them. At least Sach doesn’t acquire the ability to smell radioactivity.
2:30 PM HBO Signature
Threshold (1982 CAN): Here’s an impressively cast scienti-fiction oddity we’ve all forgotten about. Jeff Goldblum, cast as usual as a goofy savant, is Aldo Gehring, a brilliant scientist who’s developed an artificial heart, whilst Donald Sutherland plays Thomas Vrain, the doctor who first attaches said heart to a patient against the advice of medical ethicists and his hospital board. Within a year, the development of the Jarvik heart moved this presciently-titled feature from the realm of fiction into that of reality, which perhaps explains why it has lain dormant in film vaults ever since. Viewed in isolation, however, it’s a perfectly decent drama featuring fine performances by both leads.
Sunday 1/23/11
5:00 PM Sundance
White Lightnin’ (2009 GB): Though I haven’t seen White Lightnin’ yet, I’ve read enough about it to make me eager to give it a look. Inspired by an Appalachian folk dancer named Jesco White, this is mooted to be a highly fictionalized take on his life and a film which makes the mountain men in Deliverance look like a buncha candy asses. I’m a little worried it may turn out to be no better than your average Harmony Korine flick, but reviews have generally been glowing, with particular praise poured on Tim Maurice-Jones’ cinematography. Also airs 1/24 at 1:45 AM.
9:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Tide of Empire (1929 USA): Was there ever a female movie star with a more "movie star" name than Renée Adorée? Blanche Sweet comes close, but other than her, I think not. A very late silent indeed, Tide of Empire stars Ms. Adorée — who did not make the transition to sound and succumbed to T.B. in 1933 — as Josephina Guerrero, the daughter of a wealthy California rancher during the years of the Gold Rush. With the Gold Rush, however, come hangers-on and criminals, and Rancho Guerrero finds itself overrun by undesirables—including D’Arcy (George Duryea), a penniless prospector who lucks into some money and subsequently tries to win snooty Josephina’s hand. Helmed by Allan Dwan, the film does feature a special effects and musical soundtrack, but no dialogue, whilst the director also made use of a very early zoom lens during some scenes. Interesting footnote: Joan Crawford was originally cast as Josephina, but was removed from the project after her breakthrough success in Our Dancing Daughters.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Il Posto (1961 ITA): A young and eager Italian finds that life in the big city is not all it’s cracked up to be in this cheeky Ermanno Olmi comedy-drama. Sandro Panseri plays Domenico, fresh out of high school and eager to become a working adult. Moving to Milan, the lad passes his job exam with flying colors, meets cute with an attractive woman (Loredana Detto, who would later marry Olmi), and starts his new position — only to find the reality of employment a deadening, disappointing, and depressing experience. We know how you feel, kid.
Monday 1/24/11
12:05 AM Encore Action
Nemesis (1993 USA): An intriguing cast is the main reason to watch this otherwise routine and not terribly original sci-fier. Olivier Gruner plays Alex, a "supercop" assigned the task of tracking down the Red Army Hammerheads, a group of self-styled "information terrorists" plotting political assassinations. Though I don’t remember the bad guys in Nemesis looking much like Julian Assange, it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, so I could be wrong. Amongst the film’s supporting cast: Brion James, Tim Thomerson, Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa, Thomas Jane, and Jackie Earle Haley as Einstein (no, not the real one).