This Weekend, Watch This
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Season of the Witch | Country Strong | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
Clearest Title | This movie clearly will be about a witch. Now we just have to know if it will take place in summer, fall, winter, or spring. | I don't know what this movie will be about, nor why the adjective follows the noun. | Season (I hope it's autumn) of the Witch wins the point for clearest title. |
Best Genre and Rating | Adventure
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, violence, and disturbing content. | Music Drama Rated PG-13 for thematic elements involving alcohol abuse and some sexual content. | You can always watch adventures in the theaters. Music Drama wins this round for its unique genre. |
Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | "Not all souls can be saved"
Not sure about the theological accuracy of this quote, nor about how much this tagline makes me want to watch the movie. 1/5 stars | "It doesn't matter where you've been as long as you come back strong"
Longest tagline I've ever typed, but at least its a little more inspirational than the last one 2/5 | Country Strong barely wins this round of the diametrically opposed taglines. |
Best Part of Trailer | Keira Knightley look-alike. I was interested in the witch character, but no interest in the random battle scenes. | Inspirational, musical, perhaps tear-inducing trailer. | Country Strong beats the crap out of its competition in this round. Point. |
Coolest Lead Actor | Nicolas Cage from Con Air, Face/Off, and National Treasure. | Gwyneth Paltrow from Se7en, Shakespeare in Love, and Iron Man. | Two great actors, but Gwyneth makes me want to see movies more than Nic- point for her. |
Best Cast | Ron Perlman (Hellboy) and Christopher Lee (Saruman from Lord of the Rings) | Tim McGraw (Blind Side), Garrett Hedlund (Tron), and Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl). | Perlman and Lee are amazing actors, but wouldn't we all rather watch Tim, Garrett, and Leighton? Point for Country Strong. |
Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Dominic Sena has also directed Swordfish and Gone in Sixty Seconds. | Gwyneth Paltrow really sings in the movie! | Season of the Witch needs another point so the director can have it, but really, it's frickin awesome that Gwyneth really sings. |