This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for December 22, 2010 (and End of the Year
By Curt David
December 20, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
There are a lot of awards being given out right now for the movies of 2010. One of the more prestigious awards of the year, if not quite the best Oscar indicator, is the This Weekend, Watch This end-of-the-year awards. I judge movies based solely on how good they look before they get released into theaters. To see the Top 5 movie titles, actors, actresses, casts, taglines, and trailers for the year of 2010...click here.
This Weekend, Watch This
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Monster's Ball, Dragon Ball Z, and Balls of Fury - all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I'm actually not sure the next time I'll go to the cinema... when is your next movie coming out, Keira Knightley?).
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For Christmas weekend, the new movies in wide release are True Grit, Gulliver's Travels, and Little Fockers (plus Black Swan and The King's Speech expand to more theaters).
| True Grit | Gulliver's Travels | Little Fockers | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | Apparently, True Grit was a 1968 novel and a 1969 John Wayne film. This title suggests a remake. | Gulliver's Travels was a 1726 novel and a 1939, 1960, 1968, 1977, 1982, and 1996 film. | To my knowledge, no book has the word "Fockers" in the title. It has been in a movie title before, suggesting this is the second Meet the Parents sequel. | In the history of the world, Mr. Gulliver is more popular than Mr. Focker, so he'll get the point. |
| Best Genre and Rating | Western
Rated PG-13 for some sequences of western violence including disturbing images. | Adventure Comedy
Rated PG for brief rude humor, mild language, and action. | Comedy
Rated PG-13 for mature sexual content throughout, language, and some drug content. | Ooooh, I don't get to type the word "western" much in this column. Point for True Grit. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | "Retribution"
Nuf' said. I like it! 5/5 stars | "Something big is going down"
Clever, means it's a great plot and the giant Gulliver is tied up by little men. 3/5 | "Kids bring everyone closer, right?"
Ha. The "right?" makes you assume this movie is going to have more awkward family humor, now with kids. 4/ 5 | Well, I reckon that True Grit has the best here dang tagline. Point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | Tough little girl seeking retribution for her father's death. And Matt Damon's voice sounds funny. | It doesn't look bad. | If you like the first two movies, this one will be good, too. | True Grit challenged Gulliver's Travels and Little Fockers to a duel and won. (That was a Western analogy for True Grit wins the point) |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Matt Damon from Good Will Hunting, The Departed, and the Bourne trilogy. | Jack Black from King Kong, Nacho Libre, and a voice in Kung Fu Panda. | Ben Stiller from Meet the Parents, Zoolander, and Night at the Museum. | This column's not big enough for the three of them, so Ben Stiller wins the point. |
| Best Cast | Jeff Bridges (Big Lebowski), Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men), Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan), | Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Emily Blunt (Devil Wears Prada), and Amanda Peet (2012) | Blythe Danner and Teri Polo (Meet the Parents), Robert DeNiro (Raging Bull), Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers), Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four), Dustin Hoffman (The Graduate), Barbara Streisand (Funny Girl), with Laura Dern (Jurassic Park) and Harvey Keitel (Sister Act) | A duel. Choose your weapon. Unfortunately for the other two movies, Little Fockers chose star power and destroyed them. |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Joel and Ethan Coen write, direct, and produce their films together, like Fargo, Big Lebowski, and No Country for Old Men. | Director Rob Letterman has also directed Monsters vs. Aliens and Shark Tale. | Directer Paul Weitz has also directed American Pie and About a Boy and wrote and produced a bunch of other stuff too. | (Insert witty quote from a western here), which is why the Coen Brothers win this round. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, True Grit scores 4 points, Little Fockers scores 2 points, and Gulliver's Travels scores 1 point.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are a middle-school boy, feel free to watch Gulliver's Travels. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, True Grit is the best bet to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I hate awkward humor, like the humor where the main character is in a super awkward situation. Instead of laughing I just feel really bad. It's not enjoyable for me, which is why I did not like watching Meet the Parents and the show The Wonder Years.
Conclusion 3: Little Fockers just entered the Top 5 chart for the most impressive cast, which means in the last week of the 2010 competition, poor Shutter Island gets kicked off the chart.