Survivor: Nicaragua
This Is Going To Hurt
December 18, 2010

I'm gonna make how much in endorsement deals?

Hello, good people, and thank you for joining me for my final recap of the season. That's right; David and Kim will be back for the finale to give you their views on the last couple episodes. But for now, let's get this thing to the final five, shall we?

Previously on Remedial Survivor, Sash was stuck in between two three-person alliances. One alliance had two, possibly three, people that could beat him. The other alliance offered no real competition, save Fabio. Naturally, Sash chose the team that can beat him and joined forces with Jane, Holly and Chase in voting out Benry. While the loss of Benry could only serve to improve the program, it wasn't in Sash's best interest to join an alliance where everyone could kick his ass. However, this being the JV Season of Survivor, we should expect nothing less.

As is the new custom, let's break down the odds for each player remaining.

Holly - 3 to 1. I see no reason to change the folks at the top. Holly was my favorite last week and her alliance came out on top last week, so there's nothing to suggest her position would be any weaker.

Jane - 4 to 1. While I'm beginning to get tired of Jane, I seem to be the only one. She's still in a fantastic position to take home the million.

Sash - 8 to 1. Sash made his move to join the girls' alliance. Despite the fact that he should be fourth in the pecking order, Chase hasn't shown he can make a coherent decision to save his soul. Because of that, I think Sash is sitting a little better than Chase.

Chase - 12 to 1. He gets odds this good because he's in the power alliance and has an immunity idol. His best shot is to win challenges until there are no more. OR, hope that his Carolina grandma wins some and carries him to the final.

Dan - 25 to 1. Dan's still alive, believe it or not. At this point, he and Fabio are screwed. Dan gets higher odds because he's not a threat at all. I would be interested to see Dan make the finals. I'd love to hear his "why I should win" argument.

Jud (Fabio) - 50 to 1. Fabio is our big dropper this week. Being a force in the challenges means that as soon as Fabio loses a challenge, he's toast. That's really a shame too, because of the people left, he's the only one I would like to see win the million.

Okay, previews for tonight's episode show family members coming to visit and Jane losing her mind. Let's see what could possibly cause her to put out her fire, by God.

Before we even get to the actual episode, the opening is all about Chase being indecisive and not very smart. Oh boy...either Chase is going home, or he makes yet another boneheaded decision. Which will it be?

The actual episode starts as many often do, joining the tribe at camp after Tribal. Sash is telling Fabio that Benry was targeting him and letting Fabs know that he has his back. Sash then tells us that he's in control of the game and that Fabio is gone next if he doesn't win the challenge. Fabio tells us that he thinks the rest of the tribe thinks he's more gullible and naive than he is. He can't wait to show them and having them trying to figure out how he beat them. Cue the theme.

Back from break and the tribe is gathered around a shameless product placement. They have a cell phone with, drum roll, videos from home. I'm constantly amazed that the Survivors see a cell phone every season and are surprised that their loved ones are there. Obviously, the challenge will center on family visits. After they all watch their video and shed some tears, it's time to talk Reward Challenge strategy. Fabio asks Chase who he'll take if he wins. Chase and Fabio agree that they'll take each other and Sash if they win. I can't help but think this is some kind of foreshadowing. Hmmmm...

Probst sighting! As the tribe shows up for the challenge, Jeff takes the phone back and tells them they can take the phone to a place they've never been before. They'll cruise down the coast of Nicaragua; have some great food and some great company. And again, they're surprised. Really?? This truly is Survivor for Beginners. As they're all reunited, the most touching of all seems to be Fabio and his mom. Jeff takes a moment to let her know that her son is no longer Jud, he's now Fabio. Chase and Sash are joined by their moms. Dan has his son and Jane has her daughter there. And finally, Holly's husband is also there. And after all the tears and hugs and all that, we still have a challenge to get to, so let's do it.

As it turns out, the loved ones will be playing in this challenge. The Survivors will have to dive into a pool and retrieve 2 bags of lettered tiles. Once back with both bags, the loved ones will have to unscramble the tiles to create a familiar phrase. First one done wins reward.

Chase, Fabio and Sash are first out with their bags. Holly and Jane are behind and Dan is WAY behind. Fabio, Chase and Sash have all their letters back fast. Holly and Jane are right behind. Dan is pretty far behind, but he does get all the letters back. Everyone is pretty close to figuring it out. It comes down to a race between Chase's mom and Holly's husband. Chase's mom has "Family Comes First" and they are the winners. And of course, they can't go alone, just the two of them. Chase has to choose someone to go with him. He says that since Sash hasn't been on a reward in a long time, so he's taking Sash and his mom. (This is to makeup from the last one, for sure.) Jeff then tells Chase to pick someone else, so he chooses, Holly?? Dan has the best reaction, "He's a scumbag." Jeff points out that Fabio is really upset. Turns out that Fabio and his mom live in different states and don't get to see each other very much. He looks at Chase and says, "Nah, man, you know I would have taken you and your mom cause I know how much your mom means to you, dude." His mom actually has to calm him down. She tells him to get his head in the game as they have their last embrace. Dan, Jane and Fabio are sent back to camp, and the rest are sent on their cruise.

And once again, Chase completely screws the pooch. How is this idiot allowed to stay in the game? Any real cast would have dumped this wishy-washy douchebag weeks ago. I mean, why promise Fabio that you'd take him if you had no intention of it? Is he THAT ignorant that all he was doing was hedging his bets so HE could go? If that's the case, he's worse than stupid, he's downright mean. Knowing that Jud doesn't get to see his mom, it's pretty shitty of someone to prey on that and then turn around and stab him in the face. That's pretty low. On a positive, Chase has done something for me that no one had been able to do yet this season, give me someone to REALLY root for. I'm totally on the Fabio train now and I hope he sweeps the rest of the challenges and then gets to sit next to Chase at the finale and take the million right from him. If there is a Survivor Karma God, this will happen, I just know it.

We come back from break to the Survivors back at camp. Fabio wonders aloud why Chase keeps taking Holly on every reward. Dan says it's because he has no use for the three of them anymore. Fabio is VERY upset that Chase screwed him over on this one. Dan actually makes a move. He tells Fabio, in front of Jane, "forget you, forget me...he did it to Jane." Jane goes on to say that this was her daughter's last summer at home and she is also very upset that Chase didn't pick her. She's even more pissed that he had no intention of taking her or he wouldn't have promised Fabio. She tells us that she feels like she's the fourth in a four-person alliance and that worries her.

As we leave the sour grape portion of the program, we go to the sweet watermelon portion. Everyone is so thankful for going and they all cheer to them being the final three. Chase takes a second to point out that he could have earned jury votes, but he stuck with them. MY GOD, this guy's an idiot. They lay out their plans to the loved ones that they plan to be the final three and that while Jane is their fourth person, the real alliance is right here. Chase's mom toasts and wishes them all luck and that Chase wins. And now it's time for everyone to go home and Chase gets to go back to some seriously pissed off tribe mates. Maybe Jane will skewer him and eat him. We could only be so lucky.

They come back to camp and everyone seems to be asleep. But Fabio isn't. He asks Chase how it was, "buddy." Chase says it was great. Fabio explains, "That was a rhetorical question, cause I know it was great." He goes on to tell him he's a bit frustrated that Chase didn't take him. He tells him he sees his mom like twice a year. He then tells us that he has to get over it, because you can't hold a grudge out here. His whole plan is to go out and try like hell to win immunity.

And guess what time it is? Immunity time. For today's challenge, they'll all be blindfolded and will have to make it over and under several hitching rails. At the end of the track is a shield with several symbols on it. They have to feel out the symbols, grab a bag of loose symbols, make their way back through the hitching rails and then reconstruct their shield - all while blindfolded. By the way, did I mention that each set of pieces contains more pieces than they need? Oh yeah, there are decoy pieces in there.

Fabio is the first to his shield, but Jane is the first to start working on her shield. Fabio then gets started; meanwhile, Chase is taking a long time to study the original shield. Holly seems to have lost one of her bags, so she's kinda stuck. Fabio, however, is making some pretty good progress. Everyone else is now back and working on their shield. Holly finally finds her bag. Uh oh, Fabio has one wrong piece on his shield. He's doing well, except for that one piece. Chase's extra time seems to have paid off as he's catching up quickly. Fabio finishes and Jeff tells him he's wrong. He only has that 1 piece wrong and he goes back to it. Amazingly enough, he goes right to the wrong piece and replaces it with the right one and Fabio wins immunity. WOO HOO!!!

As they get back to camp, Sash tells us that Fabio's win completely screws up their plan. Chase is talking to Fabio saying that Dan is done and should go. Fabio says why not vote Jane out tonight and Dan tomorrow? He challenges him, suggesting that Chase really wants to keep her around and that's why he's suggesting Dan. Chase takes a walk with Sash and is whining about Fabio's plan to dump Jane. Sash does not agree that Dan is a bigger threat and says that Jane has to go sooner or later. Holly joins the pow-wow and she and Sash try to convince Chase that if she goes to the finale, none of them will win the million.

As they're talking, Jane comes up to make sure that they're still four. She is met with the worst poker faces ever. When she asks straight up whether or not they're voting Dan out, no one will tell her anything. Obviously, she knows she's the one now. Chase, pussy that he is, says that he doesn't want to do it, but the others seem to. Sash tells her that they all feel like she'll beat them out of the million dollars. She flips them off and then in a teary confessional tells us how they are serious liars, cheats and backstabbers.

Okay, I have to chime in now. Over the last few weeks, Jane has been starting to grate on me. This week pretty much solidifies it for me. She tries to play the southern girl thing up, but she's every bit as greedy and obnoxious as everyone else out there. THIS. IS. SURVIVOR. You vote out the threats. That's how it goes. She had no problem writing down anyone else's name. She had no problem cutting Brenda's head off a couple weeks ago. Now that it's her turn, everyone is a bunch of liars and backstabbers. Um, Jane...they're telling you ahead of time. Very few players get that courtesy. Very few players are seen as such a threat that everyone on the island knows that person has to go or they can't win the million. I know you've got your panties in a bunch, but THIS IS SURVIVOR.

Of course, Jane isn't done yet. She's pissed at the world and they will feel her wrath. She tells us how Sash's mom has raised a damn liar. She hasn't stabbed anyone in the back and she's very proud of that. And before they head to Tribal, she grabs the water buckets and pours them all over the fire. Dan is practically drowned in smoke. "By God, I started it, I'll put it out." Way to stay classy, Jane. Ya know, I get it. Getting betrayed by your alliance sucks. But what did you expect? "Here ya go Jane, here's the million. We're just happy to have played the game with you." I mean, really? Tribal Council ought to be spectacular.

Jeff asks Dan how crazy things were. He stutters a little bit and then just says, "Nevermind." Jeff ain't having that. "Give it to me or I'll dig." He tells Jeff that Jane put the fire out before they left. She then asks for her say. She goes on about loyalty, liars and backstabbers. She tells Jeff that she's getting voted out so she's gonna spill it. She calls out Holly stealing Dan's shoes back at the beginning of the game and says in the real world, you'd go to jail. She's pissed that her alliance is turning on her. Probst asks Chase about this. Chase says that she was in a four-way alliance and that they decided it was best for them to send her home. Chase says that Fabio or Dan would be next and then looks to Sash and Holly for their support. After a long pause and some VERY awkward looks, they agree that this seems to be the plan. I mean, are you really kidding me?? How stupid is this guy? You don't sit there and outline your entire game strategy at Tribal Council!

So, Jeff asks what he says his own mom would ask, "Why don't they have their own alliance and do something or force a vote?" Jane suggests that the three of them vote Holly out since the guys each have idols. Apparently this is the final night to play an idol. Dan says it would make sense to form this alliance with Jane. Holly admits that she feels nervous now that their wheels are spinning. Chase (surprise, surprise) doesn't know what's going on. Fabio is holding on to immunity and it's time to vote.

We see none of the votes as they are cast. Both Sash and Chase play their idols, so they can't be voted out. When Jeff tallies the votes, it's a 5-1 vote to send Jane packing. Oddly enough, Jane voted for Sash. What kind of sense does that make?? I'm sure some people will think that Dan and Fabio were incredibly stupid for not forcing a tie here. With the last segment of my interim status, I'll respectfully disagree. Jane was a huge threat to win this game. Other than maybe Holly, Jane beats everyone else out there. Period. Throw in the fact that she's solid in the challenges and if the final challenge is a test of wills (as they often are), is there any doubt that she could win it? And then what have Dan and Fabio done? They've hitched their wagon to a horse they can't beat. You may only have this one chance to get her out of the game and her own alliance is down with it. You take that opportunity and work on Sash in the morning. Or, you just team up with Holly and Sash and agree that Chase is an idiot and needs to go, and then go mano y mano in the final Tribal. Either way, Jane was too dangerous to live in this game any longer. I, for one, am glad she's gone. Her charm wore off for me a long time ago, and her actions and words in this episode turned me off to the point of actually disliking her.

I'd like to thank David and Kim for turning the recaps over to me for the last couple weeks. I hope you've enjoyed them and I'm sure I'll see you down the road as the Survivor: Rob vs. Russell rumors are growing and growing. Until then, take care!