TiVoPlex
By John Seal
November 29, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Wednesday 12/01/10
3:00 AM HBO Signature
Beau Geste (1966 USA): The most recent big screen adaptation of Percival Wren’s once popular novel of the same name, 1966’s Beau Geste is inferior to both the 1926 and 1939 versions but still has points of interest. Members of the He-Man Woman-Haters Club will note with approval the complete absence of female speaking roles in the film, whilst ladies will swoon at the presence of matinee idol Dean Stockwell in the lead role of Beau Graves, an American who joins the French Foreign Legion for action and quality time with brother and fellow Legionnaire John (Doug McClure). The Legion, as per usual, is assigned the task of keeping down rebellious North African natives - but Beau and John have a bigger problem on their hands in the shape of sadistic Sergeant Dagineau (Telly Savalas), who has commanding officer Lieutenant De Ruse (Leslie Nielsen, may he Rest In Peace) wrapped around his little finger. Beau Geste was shot in 2.35:1 Techniscope, but it’s a stretch to think HBO Signature will be airing it in its correct aspect ratio. Nevertheless, it’s worth a look for its rarity (the film has never had a home video release) and its cast.
3:00 PM Showtime
The Other City (2010 USA): I haven’t seen this recent documentary yet, but judging from what I’ve read it could also have been titled A Tale of Two Cities. Shot in America’s capitol, Washington D.C., the film examines that city’s HIV epidemic and the disinterest shown towards it by its congressional plantation masters down the road apiece. Sounds thoroughly depressing. Also airs at 6:00 PM.
4:00 PM Flix
The Man in the Iron Mask (1977 GB): Looks like it’s going to be a week of literary adaptations - or references thereto - in the TiVoPlex. To continue the theme, here’s an above average made for television version of the elder Alexandre Dumas’ classic tale of royal intrigue and unjust imprisonment in 17th-century France. Richard Chamberlain essays two roles, as both French monarch Louis XIV and the Sun King’s twin brother Philippe, secreted away in a dungeon to prevent his rightful accession to the throne. As familiar as the story is, the film is well executed by director Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Donnie Brasco) and features a superb cast, including Ian Holm, Patrick McGoohan, Louis Jourdan (surely the only man who ever played both D’Artagnan and Count Dracula in the same year), Ralph Richardson, Jenny Agutter, and Esmond Knight. For more classics illustrated, stay tuned at 6:00 PM for 1975’s The Count of Monte Cristo, another small screen production with big screen aspirations (as well as Chamberlain, Jourdan, Tony Curtis, Trevor Howard, and Donald Pleasence in its cast).
Thursday 12/02/10
4:30 AM HBO Signature
Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired (2008 USA): Though Roman Polanski's 1977 conviction for statutory rape has generated much media hot air over the years, little real light has been cast on the subject. This documentary finally gives Polanski's case the careful attention it deserves, and suggests that it may not have been as cut and dried as the popular narrative would suggest. Though the film does not exculpate Polanski - who did, after all, take advantage of a 13-year-old girl - it does imply he got a raw deal from the American judicial system.
11:00 AM Showtime 3
El Norte (1983 USA): Director Gregory Nava’s magical realist tale of Guatemalan peasants fleeing their native land for the safer confines of California gets a rare television airing this morning. Zaide Silvia Gutierrez and David Villalpando star as Rosa and Enrique, Mayan siblings tired of living beneath the boot-heel of their Anglo masters, who in addition to paying them a pittance for their labors have also "disappeared" their parents. Inspired by an old issue of Good Housekeeping, they set their sights on El Norte (The North), but before reaching the Land of Milk and Honey (aka Los Angeles) must first negotiate their way through Mexico. Nominated for a Best Original Screenplay Academy Award, this is one of the finest American independent features ever made, and worthy of mention in the same breath as Salt of the Earth and Nothing But a Man. The program guide suggests this will be a letterboxed airing, but Showtime 3 usually lies; considering its original aspect ratio was 1.78:1, however, El Norte is worth watching regardless.
11:15 PM The Movie Channel
Border Radio (1987 USA): This punk rock-inflected drama had been scheduled to make an October 15th appearance on Turner Classic Movies but didn’t air (Adrian Lyne’s hugely enjoyable girl-power feature Foxes filled in for it, so I’m not complaining too vehemently). Now it pops up on The Movie Channel, and I’ll take the easy way out and repeat what I wrote about it last month: (Border Radio is) a low-budget indie from 1987 starring LA punk veteran Chris D. as a rocker on the run in Mexico with some ill-gotten gains. If you spent time in the clubs of LA circa 1980 you’ll appreciate the on-screen presence of Mr. D (The Flesheaters), John Doe (X), and Dave Alvin (The Blasters). Also airs 12/3 at 2:15 AM.
Friday 12/03/10
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Fitzwilly (1967 USA): "Delightful" is perhaps the adjective best-suited to this Dick Van Dyke comedy, though "charming" is pretty appropriate, too. Van Dyke stars as the titular character, loyal butler of wealthy spinster Victoria Woodworth (Dame Edith Evans) and unofficial shop steward of her household staff. Life is good until Fitzwilly gets wind of Miss Vicki’s impending bankruptcy - news which, naturally, doesn’t sit well with her large entourage, who immediately cook up a scheme to keep their mistress’ bank account full and themselves gainfully employed. Now finally available as a print-on-demand DVD from MGM, this delightful (there’s that word again) widescreen laugher co-stars Cecil Kellaway, John Fiedler, Norman Fell, and the eternally lovely Barbara Feldon as Miss Vicki’s secretary (and Fitzwilly’s love interest).
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Beyond (1981 ITA): It’s not often that I get to write the words "Lucio Fulci" and "Turner Classic Movies" in the same paragraph. The prolific Fulci got his start in the 1960s directing pepla, spaghetti westerns, and spy movies, but is best remembered for his horror films, which came a bit later in his career. Never shy about using gore and bloodshed to make his point (though still a piker in comparison to Ruggero Deodato or Joe D’Amato), Fulci churned out more than a dozen grue-fests from the late ‘70s through the early ‘90s, including this firm fan favorite. Set and partially shot in Louisiana, The Beyond stars Catriona (Katherine) MacColl as Liza Merril, a young woman who inherits an old New Orleans inn and almost immediately regrets getting involved in the hospitality trade. Not only does she need to hire "Joe the Plumber" (Giovanni de Nava, who doesn’t look a thing like Samuel Wurzelbacher) to get the place up to code, the hotel also sits smack atop one of the entrance-ways to Hell! Yes, that Hell - the one with the pitchforks and the sulfur and the screaming and the way - HEY. Oh, and the zombies: Satan’s got some of those, too. Though not quite as good as it sounds, The Beyond is as outrageous a piece of Eurotrash as you’re ever likely to see and co-stars genre faves David Warbeck and Al Cliver.
7:30 PM Flix
Les Miserables (1978 GB): Here’s another one! Flix is really trying to raise the tone in the TiVoPlex, a worthy but probably unattainable goal considering how much time I spend writing about Lucio Fulci and (foreshadowing here for you literary types) The Bowery Boys. Of all the small screen adaptations on tap this week, this take on Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables is probably the best, and stars Richard Jordan as Jean Valjean, the unfortunate who steals a loaf of bread and is subsequently chased to the ends of the Earth by evil Inspector Javert (Anthony Perkins). Also on hand: Ian Holm, John Gielgud, Flora Robson, Cyril Cusack, Celia Johnson, and Angela "My Dad is Donald" Pleasence.
Saturday 12/04/10
2:35 AM Flix
Hardcase (1972 USA): Here’s a long unseen movie-of-the-week starring Clint Walker as a cowpoke betrayed by his wife (Stefanie Powers), who sells his property while he’s away and dumps him for another man. I know I saw Hardcase when it initially aired on ABC in 1972, but for the life of me I can’t remember anything about it (I admit to cribbing the above synopsis from IMDb!). Still, no one says "Old West" like Clint Walker, so it’s probably worth a look.
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Jungle Gents (1954 USA): Over the course of the Bowery Boys full run of 48 features (FYI, this is number 35), Sach (Huntz Hall) developed - in every case temporarily - an amazing array of talents. I humbly suggest that Jungle Gents proffers the most absurd of those talents: this time, our hero develops the ability to smell diamonds, and Slip (Leo Gorcey) decides to take him and the rest of the gang rock-hunting in Africa. They’re met there by Woody Strode (as a native) and - hey,waddya know! - Clint Walker (as, believe it or not, Tarzan).
Sunday 12/05/10
4:45 AM Flix
Running (1979 CAN): No, Flix is not paying me off this week - they’re just airing a lot of interesting features, most of which haven’t been seen on television in ages. Running is a forgotten Canadian drama starring post-Streets of San Francisco (but not yet big movie star) Michael Douglas as Michael Andropolis, a long-distance runner trying to make the Olympic team (American, not Canadian) whilst coping with the collapse of his marriage to unhappy spouse Janet (Susan Anspach). Hate to disappoint you, Mike, but the Americans ended up boycotting the Olympics you were hoping to qualify for. Though no classic, Running is a solid character study with some comfortably familiar faces, including Eugene Levy, Giancarlo Esposito, and Wide World of Sports announcer Jim McKay.
7:00 PM Sundance
Red Riding 1980 (2009 GB): As I had hoped, it looks like Sundance will be airing all three chapters of the Red Riding trilogy. The first (1974) aired last Sunday, and here’s chapter two, in which Assistant Chief Constable Hunter (Paddy Considine) is called in from Manchester to give the local plods a kick up the backside due to their continued failure to solve the series of murders attributed to the Yorkshire Ripper. The fact that the coppers are bent as nine bob notes doesn’t help matters, and Hunter spends as much time rooting out corruption as he does searching for a serial killer.
11:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
Wife for a Night (1952 ITA): A young Gina Lollabrigida, still a year away from international stardom, takes the lead in this periodically amusing sex farce from director Mario Camerini. She portrays Ottavia, the plain jane (!) wife of poor 17th century composer Enrico (Armando Francioli), who's hoping to ingratiate himself with the local nobility. When Enrico's music finally gets its day in court, he decides to hire a sultry courtesan (Nadia Gray) to masquerade as his wife, and win him a few brownie points with Count D'Origo (Gino Cervi) in the process. Based on a play by Anna Bonacci, Wife For a Night was remade by Billy Wilder in 1964 as Kiss Me Stupid, but as is usually the case, the original version is superior, if deeply obscure.
Monday 12/06/10
2:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
Josephine and Men (1955 GB): Glynis Johns stars as a love-hungry lass in this forgotten comedy from Britain’s Boulting Brothers. Produced by brother John and directed by brother Roy, Josephine and Men features Glynis as a woman with a weakness for wimps: she consistently falls for lovable losers with questionable futures, including David (Peter Finch) and Alan (Donald Sinden). Can dear old Uncle Charles (Jack Buchanan) save her from herself? Look for William Hartnell (Doctor Who number one), John le Mesurier, and Thorley Walters in supporting roles. What, no Miles Malleson?