TiVoPlex
By John Seal
October 18, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 10/19/10
12:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Guilt of Janet Ames (1947 USA): Rosalind Russell takes the lead in this psychological drama, which I prefer to think of as The (Crazy) Quilt of Janet Ames. Roz plays the titular gal, a war widow whose husband died saving five of his fellow soldiers during the dark days of Dubya Dubya Two. Janet thinks her hubby’s life was worth more than those of the five GIs, but after she ends up in hospital following an auto accident learns otherwise from the learned hand of pickled journo Smithfield Cobb (Melvyn Douglas). Soon Janet is addressing her anger through hypno-therapy, and her journey of recovery takes her to the doorstep of each of the men she’s previously reviled. Directed by Henry Levin, this far-fetched amalgam of half-baked Freudian psychobabble and goofy philosophizing co-stars Sid Caesar, Nina Foch, and future television commercial pitchman Harry Von Zell.
5:45 PM Sundance
Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee (2009 GB): How on Earth did I miss this one? I’m a huge Shane Meadows fan, so I can’t imagine how this mockumentary slipped past me. I guess a US theatrical release would have helped, but until now I wasn’t even aware of its existence. Anyhoo, Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee was written and directed by Meadows (Once Upon a Time in the Midlands, This Is England) and stars regular collaborator Paddy Considine as a rock n roll nobody trying to wheedle his way into the inner circle of indie-rock darlings The Arctic Monkeys. I bet Paddy looks good on the dance floor!
8:15 PM Flix
Medium Cool (1969 USA): This ground-breaking Haskell Wexler film was considered revolutionary in its time and still looks pretty bold, albeit in a hazy, vaguely nostalgic post-modern, post-flower power way. Robert Forster stars as John Cassellis, a TV reporter assigned to cover the 1968 Democractic National Convention, and the film cuts between his (fictional) back story and the gruesome reality of the Convention, where the Chicago Police Department busted heads first and took names later. It’s one of the best films from one of Hollywood’s best years…and look!—there’s The Last Porno Flick’s Marianna Hill as Cassellis’ nurse girlfriend!
Wednesday 10/20/10
3:25 PM IFC
Blood Simple (1984 USA): For some reason IFC didn’t air Blood Simple in its scheduled slot a week or two ago. In case you experienced frustration but managed not to smash up your TV set in disgust, here’s what I wrote then (and stand by now):
The Coen Brothers made a strong impression with Blood Simple, an outstanding neo-noir with a nasty sting in its tail that also happened to be their first film. Dan Hedaya stars as Marty, a saloon owner who knows wife Abby(Frances McDormand) is cheating on him with bartender Ray (John Getz). Marty hires detective Visser (M. Emmet Walsh) to kill them both, but hasn’t counted on the private dick’s awesome backstabbing skills, and the plot soon begins to twist, turn, and take off in unexpected, violent, and grimly humorous directions. For anyone who’s ever enjoyed a novel by James Cain or Jim Thompson (or at least enjoyed a film based on a novel by James Cain or Jim Thompson), Blood Simple is manna from heaven.
5:00 PM Encore Westerns
Backtrack! (1969 USA): Here’s one of the stranger ‘movies’ ever produced for television. It wasn’t uncommon during the 1960s for older episodes of TV shows to be cobbled together into full-length features—The Man From Uncle pulled off the trick four times—but Backtrack! goes one step further: it combines episodes from two entirely different shows! Blending sequences from Laredo and The Virginian, the result is a surprisingly coherent and strangely enjoyable concoction about cowhand Trampas’ (Doug McClure) stymied efforts to acquire a Mexican bull. If you grew up watching either show, you’ll really enjoy the proceedings, but if you didn’t, it’s still worth watching for the cast, which (in addition to McClure) includes Neville Brand, Rhonda Fleming, Ida Lupino, L. Q. Jones, Fernando Lamas, Phil Carey, William Smith, and Royal Dano. Also airs 10/21 at 1:00 AM.
Thursday 10/21/10
8:05 PM The Movie Channel
Staunton Hill (2009 USA): This straight-to-video horror film is awful—it combines the worst elements of the torture porn and killer inbred hillbilly genres—but I just have to mention it briefly to acknowledge Anchor Bay’s audacious marketing effort. The studio sold the film with the tagline ‘Romero’s Staunton Hill’…without bothering to point out that the Romero is question wasn’t George Romero, but George’s son, Cameron. Though the acorn hasn’t fallen far from the tree, based on the evidence herein its unlikely to sprout into anything remotely impressive. Sorry, Cameron—leave the moviemaking to Daddy. Also airs at 11:05 PM.
Friday 10/22/10
4:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Rockabye (1933 USA): A woman tries to overcome the disadvantages of her working-class roots in this excellent early George Cukor women’s picture. Constance Bennett plays Judy, a gal from the wrong part of town who, through hard work and grit, has made a name for herself and become a Broadway star. Her elevated position in society has allowed her to adopt an orphan daughter, but she’s now being subjected to blackmail by former lover Al (Walter Pidgeon), who’s determined that if he can’t have her, she sure can’t have a child. Also on hand: Paul Lukas as Judy’s manager, Joel McCrea as the man of her dreams, and (in uncredited bit parts) Sterling Holloway, Edgar Kennedy, and Charles Middleton.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
X the Unknown (1956 GB): Hammer didn’t delve into science fiction much—their blood and butter was always the horror genre—but when they did, the results were generally good. X the Unknown, the tale of a dangerous Blob-like creature and it’s battle against the British Army on the moors of the Scottish Lowlands, was one of the studio’s earliest sci-fi outings and remains a firm fan favorite. Yank Dean Jagger stars as Adam Royston, an atomic scientist who theorizes that X is searching for, and absorbing, as much radioactive material as it can find. With the assistance of Police Inspector McGill (Leo McKern), Royston develops a plan to take down the amorphous entity, but it’s a risky endeavor which threatens to endanger the entire world. Jimmy Sangster’s screenplay is reasonably intelligent (well, at least as intelligent as you can hope when your subject is a radioactive blancmange), but the film suffers a little thanks to its cheap shot-in-Bray look. Nonetheless, I’ve watched X the Unknown on multiple occasions since I was a wee lad, and recommend it without hesitation.
Saturday 10/23/10
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Jalopy (1953 USA): Boy, producer Ben Schwalb’s creative juices must have been particularly dry in 1953, or perhaps he was simply overwhelmed by the requirements of his new position (previous Bowery Boys producer Jan Grippo had just retired) and couldn’t come up with anything more original. How else to explain this film’s one-word title? Of the 48 Bowery Boys features produced between 1946 and 1958, this is the only one with a one-word title. And it’s not like options weren’t available: Hold That Jalopy would have been fine, as would Here Comes the Jalopy or even Bowery Buick. Whatever the reason, Jalopy is another series entry in which Sach exceeds expectations, this time by developing a super-fuel which will power the lads’ automobile to glory at the local racetrack. The usual merriment and mayhem ensue.
10:45 PM Flix
Trauma (1993 ITA-USA): One of director Dario Argento’s later and lesser efforts, Trauma will be worth a look tonight if Flix is airing it in widescreen. As the channel has a decent track record in terms of respecting original aspect ratios—a record they foolishly choose not to tout—we’ll give it a mention and hope for the best. Trauma features Dario’s daughter Asia as anorexic, suicide-inclined Aura, rescued one day by passing motorist David (Christopher Rydell) as she dangles dangerously on the edge of a bridge. Aura’s troubles, however, have only begun: back at home, Mom Adriana (Piper Laurie) is holding a séance…which gets interrupted by a serial killer who decapitates his victims! Can David save Aura from losing her head? The film’s wacky premise is undermined by its bland middle-America setting, and Ms. Argento is not at her best (only 18 at the time, this was her first starring role), but there’s still some good stuff here: the séance scenes and hospital sequences are prime Argento. Trauma plays best in 2.35:1, of course, so let’s hope Flix delivers the goods.
Monday 10/25/10
12:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Return of the Vampire (1943 USA): One of the more unusual horror flicks of the forties, Return of the Vampire takes place amidst the rubble-strewn streets of wartime London. A bomb has unearthed the coffin of Armand Tesla (Bela Lugosi), a blood-sucker whose previous reign of terror struck fear into the hearts of the Ainsley family during World War I. With a helping hand from the Wolf Man (where’d he come from? – Matt Willis), Tesla is once again free to roam the Earth, but chooses to update his image and masquerade as Hugo Bruckner, a German émigré scientist. Can Lady Jane Ainsley (Frieda Inescort) save daughter Nicki (Nina Foch) from his hypnotic gaze—and will Scotland Yard’s Sir Frederick Fleet (Miles Mander) ever admit to the existence of the supernatural? Return of the Vampire is a surprisingly effective and atmospheric feature from Columbia, a studio whose horror output was generally unimpressive, to say the least.
5:00 PM Sundance
It’s Hard Being Loved By Jerks (2008 FRA): With a title like this, you’d suspect this was some low-budget American indie feature. In actual fact, it’s a French documentary known in its native land by the much more musical title C'est dur d'être aimé par des cons. Focusing on Dutch agro-artist Theo van Gogh, whose anti-Islamic thunderings led to his murder in 2004, and the 2006 trial of a French magazine that published the infamous Muhammad cartoons, the film raises important questions about freedom of speech, censorship, multi-culturalism, and ‘political correctness’. It’s an important and fascinating film—even if it does rely on several rather repulsive characters (including Jean-Marie le Pen) to make its point.