This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for September 24, 2010
By Curt David
September 24, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Betty's version of The Aristocrats is a little unsettling
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Harry Potter, Dirty Harry, and When Harry Met Sally- all have different genres ). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 5 Reasons "The Rebound" should be released in the USA....#1: Catherine Zeta-Jones acts, looks, and is AMAZING in the movie!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of September 24th, the movies in wide release are Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, and You Again.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps You Again WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleTrippiest title ever if you didn't know it was based on a book. An unnecessarily long title if you didn't know this was a sequel to a 1987 movie (i.e. if you are young). A short title. It has a nice ring to it. LOTGTOOG'H and WSMNS will split the point for the clearest, and longest, titles.
Best Genre
and Rating		Animation

Rated PG for some sequences of scary action. 		Drama

Rated PG-13 for brief strong language and thematic elements. 		Rom/Com

Rated PG for brief mild language and rude behavior. 		I think this is the first week I never typed "sexuality" or "drugs" in this column, well until I just did right now. All movies split the point for decency.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"On his way to finding a legend...he will become one"

This sounds epic.

2/5 stars 		N/A

I mean it has a subtitle, but I don't think that should count as a tagline.

0/5stars 		"What doesn't kill you...is going to marry your brother"

A great tagline. You think it's going to say "make you stronger," and then it pulls out the plot of the movie!

5/5 stars 		The grass is always greener....when you win a point for the best tagline. (No? doesn't work? okay.) Point for You Again.
Best Part of TrailerI always enjoy a good ol' epic fantasy adventure starring talking animals and no people. I don't even care about the first Wall Street, but the trailer made me interested in the sequel. Plot is average, but it has Betty White in it and looks half decent. Usually I really love one trailer, this week- meh. All are okay, all will split the point.
Coolest Lead ActorJim Sturgess, from Across the Universe and 21, voices an owl. Michael Douglas, from Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction and married to CZJ, reprises his Oscar-winning role. Betty White, from Mary Tyler Moore, Golden Girls, and The Proposal, and this year's best Superbowl commercial and host of SNL! Betty White isn't even the lead actor in the movie, but she's the reason people will watch it. Automatic point for her.
Best Cast MemberOther voices include Helen Mirron (The Queen), Geoffrey Rush (Pirates), Sam Neill (Jurassic Park), and Hugo Weaving (The Matrix). Shia LaBeouf (Transformers), Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men), Carey Mulligan (An Education), and Susan Sarandon (Rocky Horror Picture Show) Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween), Sigourney Weaver (Avatar), Kristen Chenoweth (Glee), and Victor Garber (Alias!!) It's a close race for best cast, but You Again again gets a point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Zack Snyder has also directed Watchmen, 300, and Dawn of the Dead. Director Oliver Stone has also directed World Trade Center, JFK, Platoon, and Born on the Fourth of July Director Andy Fickman has also directed Race to Witch Mountain, The Game Plan, and She's the Man. Oliver Stone has the best street cred. Who knew he also wrote the screenplay for Evita?


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, You Again scores 3 and 2/3 points, Wall Street II scores 2 and 1/6 points, and the owl movie scores 1 1/6 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like drama or were born earlier than 1970, go see Wall Street II. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, You Again is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I sometimes think that Sigourney Weaver and Susan Sarandon are the same person.
Conclusion 3: I also always assume that Jim Sturgess was a hobbit in the Lord of the Rings. He looks just like Billy Boyd.