A-List: Action Movies
By Josh Spiegel
August 19, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Yippie-ki-yay.

This past weekend, the world was neither just nor kind: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (which quickly vaulted close to the top of my favorite films of the year) was not only not the number-one movie at the box office, it barely cracked the top five. Now, of course, it doesn’t really matter where the box office lay for the movie; that Scott Pilgrim got made is an amazing feat, and we can always treasure it on Blu-ray. What did make the top spot? The Expendables, of course. Fairly, it’s no surprise that this guns-ablaze action movie, featuring just about every major action star of the past 30 years (Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris, an apology is surely in the mail), was the most popular at the box office (and will likely repeat this weekend). Americans - especially American males - love their action movies.

And why not? Action movies, at their best, feature death-defying sequences, tough heroes who can throw off a good one-liner, beautiful and busty women, and tons of guns, explosions, and gore. Okay, well, maybe that’s what makes an action movie for you. I have no quarrel with any of those elements, but from what I’ve read of The Expendables (no, I have not seen it and honestly have about zero interest), it’s got that, just that, and don’t you dare expect anything aside from brainless action. This week’s A-List manages to compile five classic action movies with immense quantities of all the elements I mentioned, while also not feeling stupid. A movie with plot holes is fine; a movie that doesn’t care if it has plot holes is not. These action movies aren’t 100% implausible - some are closer to 0% implausible. However, they’re all awesome, they’re all classic, and they last the all-important test of time.

Die Hard

Best action movie ever. This is my pick. Obviously, picking the best of anything is subjective; that said, if you don’t agree that Die Hard is the best action movie ever, you are wrong, wrong, wrong. Yes, if you’re being picky, the women in Die Hard aren’t as ridiculously beautiful (but Bonnie Bedelia was pretty damn attractive) as in some others, but everything else is there. The hero, John McClane, is one of the toughest in film history - he walks and runs on broken glass! He is a master of the one-liner, he’s charming while still being a complete douchebag, and he can take out as many bad guys as his best nemesis, Hans Gruber, throws at him. Not only is Die Hard the best action movie ever, but it’s arguably one of the most influential films of the past 25 years. How often do we hear a movie as being described as Die Hard in a “fill-in-the-blank”?

What makes Die Hard so much better than its many imitators (and its three sequels, all of which are good, but none of which are as good as the original)? Obviously, the real-guy charisma of the film’s lead, Bruce Willis, is key, but more than anything else, we can put a lot of the praise on the shoulders of one Alan Rickman. Hans Gruber is as much an iconic villain as John McClane is an iconic hero. Despite not being German, Rickman seems as oily and rigid as the stereotypical German in film is portrayed. What’s more, despite eventually being foiled, Gruber is a smart guy. Whether it’s him deftly pretending to be an American hostage in the building he’s hijacked or being exasperated at having to order his men to “Shoot the glass!”, Rickman is the MVP of this classic film.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

The apex of Harrison Ford’s career is right around the early 1980s. One of the reasons why it’s so sad to see him in films like Extraordinary Measures isn’t just because we remember him as Indiana Jones, it’s because when Ford was a star, he was the biggest star in the world. The three Star Wars movies, the three Indiana Jones movies, Witness, Blade Runner, and on and on the list goes. Perhaps - I’m not going to commit to this one - the best of his many films is Raiders of the Lost Ark. In 1981, he, producer George Lucas and director Steven Spielberg introduced the world to one of the great movie characters, Indiana Jones. The intrepid archaeologist-cum-adventurer travels the globe to save and protect various artifacts from lost civilizations. The first of four films in the series concerns Indy saving the Ark of the Covenant from the reach of the Nazis.

Ford is surrounded by a feisty love interest, Karen Allen (who plays Marion Ravenwood, an old flame), weaselly villains, a roguish sidekick, and scene after scene of breathless action. The opening sequence, which runs about 15 minutes of the film’s two-hour length, features some of the most iconic, memorable moments in film history. Yes, the scene climaxes with Indy outrunning a gigantic boulder, but it begins with booby traps, massive spiders, a golden idol, and a young Alfred Molina (yes, Alfred Molina) telling Indy, “Throw me the idol. I throw the whip!” It’s almost impossible to believe that Steven Spielberg is able to keep up the momentum of that first section throughout all of Raiders of the Lost Ark, but the movie is so fast, so charming, so funny, and so thrilling, you wish Spielberg, Ford, and even Lucas could reach the heights they had back in 1981.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

In a few short months, Arnold Schwarzenegger will once again be free to be an action star. I’ll leave aside any discussion of his governorship, or the state of the state of California once he’s out of office to…well, not this site. I could go on, but that’s not what you’re here to read. Though Schwarzenegger has been in many action movies over the years (like Bruce Willis, he shows up in The Expendables), his biggest and best is the 1991 summer-movie titan Terminator 2: Judgment Day. In the first Terminator film, written and directed by James Cameron (who returns here), Schwarzenegger played a robot hell-bent on killing Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), whose unborn son would prove to be the downfall of a future robotic resistance against humans. In the second film, he’s sent back to 1991 to protect the son, John, who’s now a teenager, against a rival Terminator.

Most of Cameron’s movies share the same tendencies: they’re all long, they’re all filled with groundbreaking special effects, and they’re all breathless to sit through. Terminator 2 is no exception. The story here doesn’t take too long to get rolling: within 20 minutes, the good Terminator is chasing down the bad one on a stolen motorcycle through the back alleys of Los Angeles. Terminator 2 became one of the biggest films in history, giving us a great one-liner (“Hasta la vista, baby”), never-before-seen effects, badass action scenes, and Schwarzenegger’s most heartfelt performance - which is sad, when you consider that he’s playing a robot, but never mind. But the surrogate father-son relationship between him and Edward Furlong is realistic, if a little sappy; what’s more, the mother-son relationship in the film is prickly but still sweet. Add to that shotguns, car chases, and a robot who regenerates in an instant, and you have a great action movie.

Aliens

Mostly to watch the third film in the franchise for the first time, I recently went back and rewatched the first two films in the Alien series. They have a few constants - the great performance from Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley and the titular villain - but the two films are wildly different in almost every other way. Alien, from 1979, is a genuine horror film, providing us with seven characters who have next to no back story, a killing machine they bring onto their spaceship, and nothing else. Aliens, from 1986, proved that The Terminator, from 1984, was no fluke: James Cameron was for real. Whether you’re watching the original or extended edition (which is 17 minutes longer, making the film 154 minutes long), Aliens is an all-time action classic.

Like the original, the concept is pretty much the same: Ripley, with a group of fellow fighters, fends off drippy aliens who will stop at nothing to kill and reproduce, sometimes at the same time. This time, Ripley is joined by soldiers who are off to investigate the deserted colony where the aliens were first found. The colony has been decimated by a slew of the vicious creatures, headed up by the monstrous Alien queen. Once the soldiers and Ripley arrive, the action-packed terror begins. What surprised me watching the film again is how much time is taken before the action gets rolling, but once it does (about an hour into the story), there is no stopping. As proven with the previous film on this list, writer-director Cameron knows what great action movies need: awesome sequences, memorable and tough heroes, and just the right amount of dialogue in between set pieces. Aliens does this masterfully.

The Empire Strikes Back

Harrison Ford and George Lucas again. Yes, I know. These days, one of them doesn’t make many movies and the other…well, let’s just not talk too much about him these days, right? There was a point, though, as I’ve already mentioned in today’s column, when they were on top of the world. In the same way that most of the movies on this list are not just fun, not just entertaining, but also influential, so it goes for The Empire Strikes Back, the second film in the original and best Star Wars trilogy. How is this 1980 space opera more influential than its predecessor? Think of all the movies these days that are parts of trilogies. Think of all those movies, and think of how their second chapters have to end on a cliffhanger, on a down note. And remember that though it’s not first, it’s best: The Empire Strikes Back.

That the film was followed by 1983’s Return of the Jedi (which, while the weakest of the trilogy, has plenty of great action scenes, and Leia in a bikini came from that, so it’s not all bad) is a bit of a letdown. What The Empire Strikes Back has in its favor is a great romance between Han Solo and Princess Leia, memorable action set pieces (the snowy battles in the first half are epic), intriguing new characters, and one of the most jaw-dropping twists in film history. No, finding out that Darth Vader is - spoiler alert, for the none of you who don’t know - Luke Skywalker’s father isn’t as mind blowing as some twists in recent films, but for audiences in 1980, it was a huge event. The Empire Strikes Back laid ground for many great trilogies, and manages to still be great today, despite ending on a downer.