This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for July 23, 2010
By Curt David
July 23, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Finally, those anonymous calls Jennifer Aniston made to the Feds paid off
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, I am Legend, Legends of the Fall, and The Legend of Bagger Vance all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 10: Actresses I have crushed on... #4: Keira Knightley from Bend it Like Beckham and Pirates).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of July 23rd, the movies in wide release are Ramona and Beezus and Salt.

Ramona and Beezus Salt WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleI don´t know who this Ramona is, or why she is using such strong language like ¨Beezus¨ Perhaps an educational documentary about table salt. Yawn. I hope they can spice it up a bit. Wait a second. Ramona reminds me of some book I read in elementary school. She will win the point for this round.
Best Genre
and Rating		PG (Family Comedy) PG-13 (Action Thriller) Family Comedies have potential to be cute, or pain inducing. It´s harder to go wrong with an action thriller. Point for NaCl.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"A little sister goes a long way"

Cute. I´m guessing little sisters are a handful. It´d be really clever if the plot of the movie was about trying to send your little sister away to the Arctic.

1/5 stars 		"Who is Salt?"

I´ve been trying to figure this out since the beginning of this column. But this is a better tagline than, ¨Don´t use too much of it at dinner time.¨

1/5 stars 		(Insert witty comment here.) Each movie will split the point for best tagline.
Best Part of TrailerThis seems like one of the good family comedies (unlike a Furry Vengeance-type of family ¨comedy¨) BAM! Angelina Jolie can´t do wrong in a action/thriller. Looks good. I want to watch Salt right now. And that statement alone gives Salt the point for this round.
Coolest Lead ActorSelena Gomez is more well-known than I thought she was. Apparently a lot of tweens watch Wizards of Waverly Place. Angelina Jolie is also more well-known than I thought she was. Apparently every woman´s magazine likes to gossip about her. I was never an Angelina fan, until I saw Wanted. That movie is in my top ten movies of all-time list. Now an automatic point for Angie.
Best Cast MemberGinnifer Goodwin. You know her from Big Love and as the main girl from He´s Just Not That Into You. Liev Schreiber. You know him as Sabretooth from X-men 3 and the Scream Trilogy. Ginnifer has to take this point. In addition to the awesome way she spells her name, she was also in one of the 5 chick flicks I highly approve of.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Producer Denise Di Novi has also produced The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and 35 other movies. Director Phillip Noyce has also directed Clear and Present Danger and Patriot Games. I´m glad my action thriller of the summer is in good hands. Point for Mr. Noyce.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Salt scores 4 1/2 points and Ramona and Beezus scores 2 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are a boy under the age of 13 or a girl under the age of 21, you´ll probably want to watch Ramona. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Salt is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I was just kidding when I said that a documentary about Salt would be uninteresting. In fact, the history of the Salt trade is highly fascinating, filled with wars, kingdoms, riches, and influence on the rest of history. (For real...do some research).
Conclusion 3: Arctic is spelled with two C´s. You say you already knew that, but you really wanted to spell it Artic. (Antarctica is similar)