This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for June 18, 2010
By Curt David
June 25, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of June 25th, the movies in wide release are Grown Ups and Knight & Day
| Grown Ups | Knight & Day | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | This movie could be about grown ups (that sounds a little boring) or about kids acting like grown ups (sounds a little cute). | This movie could be about a medieval Knight, or a romantic comedy about Mr. Knight and Ms. Day. | Both titles are mysteries. But Knight and Day is a play on words! Point for Knight and Day. |
| Best Genre and Rating | Comedy Rated PG-13 for crude material including suggestive references, language, and some male rear nudity. | Action/Comedy Rated PG-13 for sequences of action violence throughout, and brief strong language. | WHOA! I have never typed that one in a rating before. I will have to void Grown Ups from the competition this round, and award the point to Knight and Day. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | "Boys will be boys.... some longer than others" Haha. It's a common saying with an added twist, showing that the movie is going to be a comedy with adults in it. This is how taglines should be made. | "N/A" WHAT?!?!?!? All comedies should have taglines. I am thoroughly disappointed. 0/5 stars | Grown Ups gets on the board. Well played. Point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | It actually seems kind of funny. | This movie seems awesome. And the funniest moment in a trailer all year (Let's go on three...) | Usually romantic action comedies seem awful (Bounty Hunter, Killers, etc.), but this one actually looks good. Solid point for Knight and Day. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Adam Sandler from SNL, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Big Daddy, 50 First Dates, Anger Management, Click, and my favorite: Mr. Deeds. | Tom Cruise from Risky Business, Top Gun, Rain Man, A Few Good Men, The Firm, Jerry Maguire, Minority Report, Collateral, Tropic Thunder, Valkyrie, and my favorite: Mission Impossible. | The pedigree in this round is outstanding. Sandler and Cruise (do they even need first names?) will split the point for this round. |
| Best Cast Member | Kevin James from The King of Queens, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, and Paul Blart: Mall Cop. | Cameron Diaz from The Mask, My Best Friend's Wedding, There's Something About Mary, Charlie's Angels, and Shrek. | Kevin James is going to get 25% of a point for Paul Blart. Cameron Diaz is going to get the other 75% for her resume. |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Dennis Dugan has also directed Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, many tv shows, and a bunch of other Sandler movies. | Director James Mangold has also directed Girl Interrupted, Walk the Line, and 3:10 to Yuma. | Mr. Dugan knows how to make a funny Adam Sandler movie, so he'll win the point for this round. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Knight and Day scores 4 1/4 points and Grown Ups scores 2 3/4 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you've watched all of Rob Schneider's films, then please go ahead and watch Grown Ups. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Knight and Day is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: So Tom Cruise isn't the biggest draw at the movies these days and neither is Cameron Diaz, but put them together and magic happens. I hope the people of America agree with me. If not, they can all take a straw*
Conclusion 3: I didn't figure out why the movie is called Knight and Day. The characters names are Mr. Miller and Ms. Havens.
*so they can suck it.