The Worst Thing I Ever Did
Halle Berry
By Ronnie Harvey
June 10, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Still, even the best actor can make the wrong mistake and select the perfectly wrong movie because they incorrectly determine that they can make it something special. Or perhaps it pays well. Michael Caine once said of Jaws: The Revenge: “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible; however, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.” If only other actors were so honest about their career choices. In this column, I will examine the filmographies of some of Hollywood’s most bankable stars, then choose the one movie that was by far their worst role/film. Even though we like to think they can do no wrong, they can and sometimes do make horrible films and critical bombs.
My first selection is the lovely and talented Halle Berry. I’ve loved Berry from the moment she slinked her way onto the big screen in The Flintstones. She was the epitome of sex and every man, woman, and child took notice. Her career took off and she was everywhere. From playing Storm in the lucrative X-Men franchise to portraying the incomparable Dorothy Dandridge in Introducing Dorothy Dandridge (which won her an Emmy), Berry was poised for greatness. In 2001 she starred in Monster’s Ball, a movie that won her an Academy Award for Best Actress, the first black woman in history to ever win. She could do no wrong. Right? WRONG!
Gothika had its interesting moments, and I was fond of the remake of Behind Blue Eyes (please don’t shoot me). I’ve never seen B*A*P*S before but from what I hear, I might need to revise this entry before I even write it. X-Men: The Last Stand wasn’t anchored by her and would have been a success and just as bad with or without her. Only one other film comes to mind when bad Halle Berry films are discussed and that is, of course, the historically bad time that was Catwoman.
2004 came around and all hell broke loose. The superhero franchise flicks were in full force and were all the rage. But it was predominantly a man’s world when it came to superheroes. The last
time a female superhero was the anchor of a film was 1984’s Supergirl (which is a joke in and of itself). Twenty years later, studios began to question if female superheroes were the way to go.
The most recognizable female in the comic book world was and is Catwoman. Batman’s arch nemesis and sometimes lover had been portrayed on the big screen in 1992’s Batman Returns and was played by Michelle Pfeiffer. By 2004, Pfeiffer was really not the right choice to reprise the role, so Berry took the reins and hoped to start her very own lucrative franchise. I remember when I first heard the news that Berry would be taking the role of Catwoman. I was really excited because she had already starred as my favorite comic book hero in Storm (I’ll be completely honest, I used to stand outside my house when I knew a storm was coming up and pretend like I was controlling it). I thought that she was exotic and could bring a much needed change to a role that had been all but dormant since Pfeiffer.
On paper, Catwoman looked like a win-win situation for everyone involved. Who could blame a studio for trying to tap into a market that was itching for more? Who could blame a studio for thinking that a female superhero was the next possible step? Catwoman premiered and the consensus was almost universal. Berry was hot but the movie was not. Catwoman was by far the worst film of Berry’s career because it didn’t take her anywhere. Not every film is meant to earn you an award nomination and not every film is meant to earn you accolades across the board, but what each of your films should do is stretch your ability and give you something fresh and new to work with. From the start, Berry had been slowly moving up the ladder of success in Hollywood and Catwoman pushed the ladder over.
I feel like the blame is three fold. Berry herself, the director, and an audience who really didn’t give a damn are all to blame. Woman weren’t interested in seeing a woman dressed in scantily clad clothing jumping around from building to building while thumping music played. Men, though intrigued by Berry's sexiness, weren’t interested in watching her overthrow an evil cosmetics giant. Catwoman couldn’t exist in a world where it had no one to really appeal to. The movie surely wasn’t a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. The movie played out more like a music video for the Mis-Teeq song "Scandalous" than a movie, and Berry was given nothing but scantily clad clothes and clichéd dialogue that really turned Catwoman into a parody instead of making her likable and mysterious. What made Michelle Pfieffer’s Catwoman desirable was the darkness, the mystery and the intrigue. Comedy and sex can only get you so far before audiences take notice.
Pitof, known for just about nothing, was chosen to helm Catwoman. It was his first major production and most likely his last. What Pitof lacked in experience, he tried to make up for with sex appeal. American audiences are known for their ability to turn trash into treasure. Take the Jersey Shore cast, for example. It's one of MTV's top rated shows, yet it's full of trash. Sex sells and in most cases it works. Catwoman just wasn’t sexy. It verged on ridiculous and became a parody of itself before the credits even rolled. Pitof made her look ridiculous, he made her sound ridiculous, and his “story” was - you guessed it - ridiculous.
Of course, just because Berry wasn’t given anything to work with doesn’t give her a pass to suck. Catwoman is a very complex character and her deep emotions and bitterness toward life and reality could have been better conveyed. Berry looked bored. I think she knew that the movie was going to suck after the first few takes and then just lost all hope and waited for the check to clear. That makes her the biggest culprit in this whole mess. Pitof was a wreck from the beginning but Berry is an AWARD WINNING ACTRESS for goodness sake. Either drop out and forget about the money and maintain your dignity or earn the money you are getting from it and make something of a role that Michelle Pfiffer would have killed for if she had figured out how to stop time and keep herself ten years younger.
After the failure of Catwoman, Berry’s career has been spotty at best. Her only film to make a profit and be fairly successful was X-Men: The Last Stand, which was an established franchise that didn’t rely on her and her alone. The Perfect Stranger teamed her up with Bruce Willis and barely made a blip on the radar, while Things we Lost in the Fire with Benicio Del Toro was barely given a wide release and could only muster $3 million at the box office. So what does this mean for Berry? Have her recent films failed because of Catwoman? Audiences sometimes make the right choice and refuse to be fooled again. Anyone that was fooled by Catwoman may have been left with a bad taste in their mouth for Berry. When you’re the sta,r you have to take all the credit for a bad film because you should have known better. The only person that can be blamed for her recent misfortune is Berry herself.
The ball is in Berry's court. The worst part about all of this is that she is a very talented actress. If the right role came along she could easily be back on top, but for now she is stuck in limbo just waiting for people to wash from their minds the memory of her jumping from building to building in that ridiculous suit. SO SO SO SCANDALOUS!