This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for June 4, 2010
By Curt David
June 4, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Dammit, it's spelled 'California G*u*rls', not 'Girls'
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, E.T. the Extra Terrestrial, Aliens, and Monsters vs. Aliens all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My Top 10: Actresses I have crushed on... #10: Rachel Nichols from G.I. Joe).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of June 4th, the movies in wide release are Get Him to the Greek, Killers, Marmaduke, and Splice.

Get Him to the GreekKillersMarmadukeSpliceWinner
(1 point per category)
Clearest Title50% chance it's a movie about Athens. 50% a movie about fraternities. 75% chance it's a stylish action movie. 25% it's a comedic action movie. 100% chance it's based on the Marmaduke comic strip. (Lord, help us.) Based on dictionary.com, 25% chance to be either about cutting/combining rope, trees, marriage, or electromagnetic tape. I really hope Splice is about electromagnetic tape. Point for Marmaduke for clearest title.
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy

Rated R for strong sexual content and drug use throughout and pervasive language. 		Action/RomCom

Rated PG-13 for violent action, sexual material, and action. 		Family Comedy

Rated PG for some rude humor and language. 		Sci-fi Horror

Rated R for disturbing elements including strong sexuality, nudity, sci-fi violence, and language. 		I've typed the other three phrases countless times in this column. "Sci-fi violence" might be a new one for me. Point for Splice.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		"Arriving this summer (hopefully)"

While the 'hopefully' is based on the plot, I really think that makes you want to find out more about the movie that might not be released.

2/5 stars 		"Marriage: Give it your best shot"

Hahaha. While the plot of finding out your spouse is a spy isn't unique, this tagline is.

3/5 stars 		"Live Large"

Clever, it's a saying and the movie is about a Great Dane.

3/5 stars 		"On June 4th...meet Dren"

Eh. The date isn't that clever, but we are meeting an entirely new species.

2/5 stars 		Not a bad week for taglines- no 1's. Also no 4's or 5's. Everyone can have 1/4th of a point for this round.
Best Part of TrailerFunnier than I thought it would be- I laughed 7 times (more than I thought I would) Funnier than I thought it would be- I laughed 2 times (more than I thought I would) Wow, I did not think I was going to smile at all, but I laughed 2 times (more than I thought I would) I didn't laugh at all, which is probably good for the genre....but it didn't do much else for me. Man, I don't know what I just ate, but I had the giggles today. Get Him to the Greek wins this round by a mile.
Coolest Lead ActorJonah Hill from Superbad, Knocked Up, and the guard in Night at the Museum 2. Ashton Kutcher from That 70's Show and Whatever Happens in Vegas. Owen Wilson (voice of Marmaduke) from Zoolander and Wedding Crashers. Adrien Brody, from The Pianist and King Kong. Jonah Hill was good in his trailer (more so than the other three), and he will be taking home the point today.
Best Cast MemberRussell Brand from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Katherine Heigl from Grey's Anatomy, 27 Dresses, and Knocked Up. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (voice of another dog) was in Superbad and Role Models. Sarah Polley from a ton of critically-praised independent movies and the Dawn of the Dead remake. Katherine Heigl is the most famous out of this lot. She'll get the point this round.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Nicholas Stoller has also directed Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Director Robert Luketic has also directed The Ugly Truth, 21, Monster-in-Law, and Legally Blonde. Director Tom Dey has also directed Failure to Launch and Shanghai Noon. Director Vincenzo Natali has also directed Paris je t'aime. All directors seem competent enough. 1/4th of a point for each of them.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Get Him to the Greek scores 2.5 points, the Killers scores 1.5 points, Marmaduke scores 1.5 points, and Splice scores 1.5 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you do not like rated R comedies, romantic comedies, family comedies, or sci-fi horror, please watch last week's Prince of Persia. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Get Him to the Greek is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Instead of reading Marmaduke in the comics, I love to read Zits and Sherman's Lagoon.
Conclusion 3: I just created a quiz (How well do you know Movie Release Dates?), based upon all the similar-sounding, different-genre movies found at the beginning of each of these columns. Click here to experience the love.