TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for Tuesday June 8 2010 through Monday June 14 2010
By John Seal
June 7, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 6/8/10
1:00 AM Showtime
Black Beauty (1971 GB): I’m not well-inclined towards equestrian films—has a more annoying movie than International Velvet ever been made?—but it’s hard to argue with the pedigree of this one. Based, of course, on Anna Sewell’s classic novel (already filmed on several previous occasions), this version of Black Beauty features everyone’s favorite late ‘60s tyke, Mark Lester, as lucky farmboy Joe. Joe’s been gifted with the titular gee-gee by his Dad, but when times turn hard Beauty ends up in the hands of notorious circus master Hackenschmidt (Walter Slezak). Will Joe find a way to liberate his animal companion, or will Hackenschmidt send Beauty to the glue factory? Directed by James Hill (Born Free) and co-starring Maria Rohm, Peter Lee Lawrence, and a bunch of other familiar faces from spaghetti westerns (the film was partly shot in Spain), Black Beauty airs again at 4:00 AM and on Showtime 2 at 3:20 AM.
5:05 AM The Movie Channel
The Adventures of Hercules (1985 ITA): Everyone loves a Hercules movie, right? Well, this is the one that will test your endurance and dedication. The Incredible Hulk himself, Lou Ferrigno, stars this time as our amiable hero, and whilst Lou was never an actor of much subtlety, the fact that a voice actor dubbed his lines is a bridge too far for this writer. The story, penned by director Luigi Cozzi (also responsible for Starcrash, perhaps the worst Star Wars rip-off of them all), sends Herc on a mission to reclaim the Seven Thunderbolts of Zeus, which have been nicked from the Main Man by some of the lesser gods. The film’s primary saving grace is William Berger (Superfly TNT) as King Minos, but even that’s a pretty thin straw to grasp. If the mighty mythical movie muscleman floats your boat regardless of quality, however, by all means check out The Adventures of Hercules, which also airs at 8:05 AM.
2:30 PM Showtime 3
In the Loop (2009 GB): One of the best films of 2009, In the Loop is also one of the most depressing comedies you’ll ever see: in fact, it makes your average black comedy appear light and airy in comparison. Chris Addison plays fresh-faced government intern Toby, a ministerial aide seconded to British cabinet minister Simon Foster (Tom Hollander). When Foster announces during a radio interview that a Middle Eastern war is unthinkable, spin doctor Malcolm Tucker’s (Peter Capaldi) head explodes and Foster’s hold on his position becomes increasingly tenuous. As war talks percolate throughout the British and American governments, Toby makes common cause with Yank counterpart Liza (Anna Chlumsky)—but has a nasty surprise in store during a trip to Washington. In the Loop’s screenplay (penned by a team of four, including director Armando Ianuuci) magnificently reflects the cynical state of modern statecraft, but whatever laughs you’ll get will be tempered by the knowledge that this is exactly how government works, and exactly how the invasion of Iraq became a fait accompli. This is a very, very good film, but as I said…extremely depressing. Also airs 6/9 at 12:00 PM and 3:00 PM and throughout the month.
9:50 PM The Movie Channel
Paraiso Travel (2008 COL-USA): A Colombian movie, and it’s not airing on HBO Signature? What’s the world—or The Movie Channel—coming to? Regardless of the explanation for this anomaly, Paraiso Travel is an excellent character study about two young people from Medellin travelling to New York to claim their share of the American Dream. Their only obstacle, of course, is that they’re ‘illegal immigrants’, and they end up slumming it in a grimy Queens hotel. Co-starring chameleon John Leguizamo, Paraiso Travel is an impressive second feature from director Simon Brand, whose first film, the appropriately titled Unknown, is also worth seeking out. Also airs 6/9 at 12:50 AM.
Wednesday 6/9/10
7:00 PM IFC
Thank You for Smoking (2006 USA): If your appetite for acerbic social commentary was whetted by In the Loop, save room for dessert. I think this is the widescreen television premiere of Jason Reitman’s biting satire of life in the boardrooms of Big Tobacco, featuring what should have been a star-making turn from Aaron Eckhart as corporate spokesperson Nick Naylor. Naylor’s struggling to balance his job as a flack for cigarette companies with his job raising twelve-year old son Joey (Cameron Bright) in a smoke-free environment, and he has a worthy opponent in the shape of Vermont Senator Ortolan Finistirre (William H. Macy), whose office is afloat in maple syrup. Though the tone of Reitman’s film is, at times, whimsical, Thank You for Smoking is a brilliantly written critique of American business practice, politics, and societal hypocrisy.
10:45 PM Sundance
Guest of Cindy Sherman (2008 USA): Paul H-O made a minor name for himself in the Manhattan art world during the 1990s by co-hosting a cable public access show called Gallery Beat. His show provided him the opportunity to meet photographer-artist Cindy Sherman, one of the most talented and important American artists of the post-pop art era. Guest of Cindy Sherman examines the ups--but mostly downs--of their five-year relationship, in which Paul found himself disappearing in the shadow of his famous girlfriend. Fans of Sherman will be thrilled at the opportunity to see much candid footage of the artist; others will be intrigued by H-O's tale of relegation to second-class citizenship.
Thursday 6/10/10
9:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Term of Trial (1962 GB): A bad girl tries to get a good man in trouble in this well-acted but rather sexist British drama. The good man is teacher Graham Weir (Laurence Olivier), a recovering alcoholic and wartime conshy trying to get a fresh start at a new school. One of his students is 16-year old Shirley (Sarah Miles), a needy youngster who bonds with Graham when he offers to provide her with out of class tutoring. After a few hours of studying together, Shirley decides she’s in love with her mentor—and will go to any lengths to win him away from wife Anna (Simone Signoret). Term of Trial is extremely well-acted all around, but its reliance on anti-feminist cliches makes it a somewhat uneasy viewing experience in the 21st century. An excellent supporting cast, including Allan Cuthbertson, Terence Stamp, Thora Hird, and Hugh Griffith lessens the sting.
Friday 6/11/10
3:40 AM IFC
Cache (2005 OST): Michael Haneke’s po-mo headscratcher makes its widescreen television debut this morning on IFC. A Blow-Up for the video age, Cache stars Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche as Georges and Anne Laurent, a professional couple whose life gets turned upside down when someone starts leaving mysterious videotapes on their doorstep. The tapes are rather stalky, but it’s the drawings that accompany them that really creep out the Laurents—and when Georges decides to go on the trail of the responsible party, he gets a lot more than he bargained for. The film does not end so much as peters out, however, so if you’re anticipating a nice, neat Hollywood wrap-up, you are going to be disappointed beyond words, whilst those who prefer their cinematic puzzle pieces enigmatic will be in seventh heaven. It’s absolutely essential to see this film in its correct aspect ratio—rarely do films rely so much on framing to tell their story—so if you missed Cache on the big screen, or have only seen it in pan and scan, this is an opportunity not to be missed. Also airs at 10:00 AM if you’re not a night owl.
5:07 PM Starz
District 9 (2009 NZ-USA): One of the biggest boxoffice surprises of 2009, District 9 actually debuted on the small screen last week, but as I was ‘on assignment’ at the time it’s only now appearing in the TiVoPlex. Most readers are probably well aware of the film’s plot, so I won’t bore you with unnecessary details, but will point out that Sharlto Copley’s performance as G-man Wikus van der Merwe personifies the very essence of the words ‘spineless bureaucrat’. Like many viewers, I was disturbed by the film’s stereotypical Nigerian thugs, but District 9 is, overall, an extremely entertaining—and surprisingly intelligent—piece of science-fiction. Also airs at 8:07 PM and throughout the month.
Saturday 6/12/10
12:05 AM Sundance
The Necessities of Life (2008 CAN): This unique French-Canadian drama stars Natar Ungalaag as Tiivii, an Inuit battling one of the diseases gifted to his people by the white man: tubercolosis. Set in 1952, the film follows Tiivii’s travels from the remote interior to urbane Quebec City, where he is sequestered against his will in a sanitarium. As in Kurosawa’s Dersu Uzala, the transition is an unhappy one one, but a supportive nurse (Eveline Gelinas) intervenes before it’s too late and helps Tiivii by introducing him to bilingual child patient Kaki (Paul-Andre Brasseur). Though that sounds like a recipe for sloppy sentiment, The Necessities of Life thankfully dodges the three-hanky bullet in favor of a more honest and delicate approach to human relationships.
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Hold That Baby (1949 USA): I know you’ve been jonesing for more Bowery Boys action (the lads took Memorial Day weekend off and there was no ‘Plex last week), so your wish is my command. In series entry number fourteen, the Boys discover an abandoned baby wrapped in swaddling clothes at the local laundromat (the laundromat Slip and Sach have, of course, just opened in the back of Louie’s Sweet Shop). Unbeknownst to them, the child is heir to a considerable fortune—but wouldn’t you know it, gangster Cherry-Nose Mason (John Kellogg) has his eyes on the loot, too. Someone call Child Protective Services!
11:00 PM Encore Action
Vanishing Son (1994 USA): Bet you never knew there was a four-part TV mini-series about martial artists fleeing from post-Tiananmen Square People’s Republic of China for the safety of America, did you? Well, I didn’t until now. The surprising thing is that the Vanishing Son films have a decent critical reputation and good casts, with Russell Wong, Vivian Wu and Dr. Haing S. Ngor headlining the first chapter. Vanishing Son II airs immediately following at 12:35 AM, whilst the concluding entries in the series air at a later date.
Sunday 6/13/10
9:00 PM IFC
The Woods (2005 USA): If you go out to The Woods today, you’re sure for a big surprise…it’s actually a pretty good film. Of course, if you’re familiar with the work of director Lucky McKee, it’s probably no surprise at all: McKee earlier wrote a pair of inter-connected but stand-alone fright flicks, May and Roman, and The Woods is further evidence of his penchant for character-driven storytelling. Indie queen Patricia Clarkson stars as Ms. Travers, headmistress of an exclusive girls’ school where pyromaniac new student Heather (Agnes Bruckner) has just arrived for a new term. Ms. Travers is the stereotypical cold fish and doesn’t seem to care much for Heather, but that’s the least of the girl’s problems—students keep disappearing, and she might be next! Though the film offers few surprises, its still miles ahead of most contemporary thrillers thanks to McKee’s attention to detail and ability to create characters we give a damn about. Co-starring Bruce Campbell as Heather’s deaf-mute dad, The Woods deserved a far better fate than being consigned to Straight-to-DVD hell, and appears this evening in widescreen.
Monday 6/14/10
1:45 AM More Max
Surf Ninjas (1994 USA): Not to be confused with the equally amusing Surf Nazis Must Die!, Surf Ninjas is an absurd, goofy comedy from Americathon director Neal Israel. It’s the family-friendly tale of brothers Johnny and Adam (Ernie Reyes Jr. and Nicolas Cowan) who find themselves thrust into battle against the evil Colonel Chi (Leslie Nielsen), whose iron fist rules supreme on the tropical island of Patu San. With the assistance of best pal Iggy (Rob Schneider), Detective Spence (Tone-Loc), and lovely Ro-May (Miss Teen USA Kelly Hu), how can they fail? I’ve had a soft spot for Surf Ninjas since my son was six or seven, when this movie was on heavy household rotation. Somehow I never got sick of it—even though I probably watched it with him at least a dozen times. Hey, better this than Power Rangers.
12:40 PM Showtime Extreme
The Escapist (2008 GB): The ever busy Brian Cox gets a rare lead role in this fine first feature from director Rupert Wyatt. Cox is Frank Perry, not the American film director but a hardened British con serving a life sentence without chance of parole. When he learns that his daughter is seriously ill, Frank decides family obligations trump corrections and rehabilitation, but needs the help of four fellow inmates to break him out of prison. Set beneath the streets of London (including scenes shot in a long-abandoned Tube station), The Escapist may not hit the same highs as Jacques Becker’s similarly-themed Le Trou, but is well worth a look for thriller fans and Cox admirers.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
A Cry in the Night (1956 USA): Natalie Wood plays a kidnap victim in this decent, rarely screened police procedural. Wood plays Liz Taggart, daughter of hard-noised cop Dan Taggart (Edmond O’Brien) and target of deranged Harold Loftus (the perfectly cast Raymond Burr). Loftus grabs the girl whilst she’s spooning with boyfriend Owen Clark (Richard Anderson), who ends up with a nasty lump on his head and then has some ‘splaining to do to dear ol’ dad. Will Dan and Police Captain Bates (Brian Donlevy) break the case before something shudderingly awful and too dreadful to describe in a family newspaper happen to Liz? Tune in to find out!