A-List: Action Stars Who Work in Family Movies
By Josh Spiegel
April 29, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Now, I grant you, of the many action stars who’ve been in family movies, Brendan Fraser is low on the list. He, for better or worse, is more believable as a city developer than, say, Bruce Willis or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Still, over the past decade, Fraser’s biggest movies have been action movies, specifically the trilogy of Mummy movies he made between 1999 and 2008. Since that first Mummy movie, Fraser’s been seen as something of a poor man’s Indiana Jones. By appearing in Furry Vengeance, Fraser continues his streak of appearing in movies that not only look pretty crappy, but are meant to capitalize on his effusive nature, enthusiasm, and weirdly giddy charm; admit it, as silly as it was, we all laughed at Fraser’s strange on-camera clap during the Golden Globes.
Fraser, at least, enjoys what he does; let’s take a look at this week’s list of action stars to see if it’s the same for them.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
In some ways, the trend of action stars being the leads in family movies can all be traced to the current governor of California and then-popular director Ivan Reitman. Though their first film collaboration was Twins, it was Kindergarten Cop that solidified Schwarzenegger as the first action star who was able to blow up bad guys and coddle children, all in the same movie. Kindergarten Cop, since its release, has reached something of a cult status; at the very least, some of the film’s lines have. Who among us has not heard or said, in their best or worst Schwarzenegger impression, “It’s NOT a tumor!” Who among us has not laughed at this line: “Who is your daddy, and what does he do?” Schwarzenegger hit something of a peak during this time, even in the second Terminator film, where he’s a kindhearted murderous cyborg.
That said, sometimes, Schwarzenegger’s nose for family movies has failed him. I have suffered, more than once, through the atrocity that is Jingle All The Way. In the same way that Brendan Fraser can be believed as a regular citizen in Furry Vengeance (if not a regular citizen beset upon by local flora and fauna), Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot be believed as a henpecked mattress-store owner who’s also a workaholic. If you haven’t seen Jingle All The Way, it’s worth missing at any time of year, not just at Christmas, and also proves before the fact that George Lucas really has no eye for actors anymore; Jake Lloyd, soon to be young Anakin Skywalker, is just as bad here as he was in The Phantom Menace. Schwarzenegger hasn’t done a lead family-film vehicle since, but Kindergarten Cop alone makes him an icon in the genre.
Sylvester Stallone
Of the five actors on this list, Sylvester Stallone may seem the most out of place. Despite Sly’s action prowess, Stallone has rarely been in family movies. He’s never been as bewildered as Arnie was in Kindergarten Cop, nor has he ever voiced a talking baby (as we’ll talk about soon). It’s not for a lack of talent; I’d say that Stallone’s got some comedy chops, so it’s not unbelievable that we’d see him in a film similar to Kindergarten Cop. Alas, it was never to be. However, Sly has been in a few family-oriented movies, most notably as the main antagonist of Spy Kids 3D: Game Over, the third and final film in the Spy Kids series, helmed by Robert Rodriguez. The third Spy Kids film positions Stallone as the inventor of a video game so immersive that it threatens to tear the Spy Kids apart.
The movie’s not great, nor is the 3D (remember, this was way before Avatar or even Coraline helped people appreciate what magic can be created with 3D technology). Stallone’s performance (or performances) is very impressive, if more nuanced than what you usually find in kids’ movies. This film aside, Sly’s only other family-oriented movies were Antz (where he voiced the role of the lead’s best buddy) and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!, wherein he co-stars with Estelle Getty. I’ve not seen the latter film, but have heard of its badness (and come on, from reading that title, what are you expecting?). Bad action movies don’t stop any of the men on this list, but bad family movies seem to put a stop in their tracks. The familiar can be bad, but if these guys do something unfamiliar and it fails, they cower back to their comfort zones. Stallone’s no different, but there’s nothing wrong doing what’s comfortable, I guess.
Bruce Willis
Just an average guy, right? That’s what Bruce Willis sold himself as in the Die Hard series, and on the ABC series Moonlighting. So, when people were looking for someone to provide the voice of an average guy who happens to be a baby for a film called Look Who’s Talking, where did they go? To Bruce Willis, of course. Willis has never starred in a film like Kindergarten Cop, where the whole concept is that he has to deal with children, despite the fact that the guy knows (or knew) what comic timing was, and can be appropriately pissed off when the time is right. This is not to say that Willis never went down the route of the family film. He was the star of Disney’s The Kid, where he came face-to-face with himself as a child. The film I’ll talk about a little bit here, though, is a movie I’m sure he’d rather forget, and right quick: the 1994 family film North.
You probably haven’t seen North (I did when it came out and, even though I was still at the age where I thought I loved everything, even I knew the movie wasn’t that good), but you may well have heard of it, specifically in the context of a review from the famed critic Roger Ebert. Due to his recent rants on the morality of Kick-Ass and the idea that video games can never be art, we may not be fans now, but Ebert is more than right when he claimed that he “hated, hated, hated this movie.” That’s a direct quote, so memorable that it’s the title of his first compilation of his most negative reviews. North, about a boy who looks to adopt new parents because his don’t pay attention to him, co-stars Willis as a mysterious stranger who helps the title character along his journey. He dresses up as the Easter Bunny, a cowboy, and a FedEx deliveryman. The movie’s terrible. Avoid it, and any Willis family movies, at all costs.
Vin Diesel
Before Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson came around, everyone assumed that the heir to the throne of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s action stardom was Vin Diesel. And why not? He’d co-starred in the uncommonly entertaining sci-fi thriller Pitch Black, was the co-lead in The Fast and The Furious, and dominated the globetrotting action film xXx. Diesel, unlike Schwarzenegger, had also appeared in supporting roles in such films as Saving Private Ryan, Boiler Room, and was the title character in The Iron Giant. What would it be like, a 21st-century Schwarzenegger with more acting chops than just blowing guys away? Diesel’s career has fallen off, despite a small resurgence thanks to yet another The Fast and The Furious sequel, but in 2005, he attempted his parallel film to Kindergarten Cop. From 2005, the Disney family movie The Pacifier, had everything Diesel needed for success.
Oh, except one thing: it wasn’t good, and not even in a so-good-it’s-bad way. Yes, the movie made money, but it’s not something people talk about anymore. This is the kind of movie people watch when they have nothing else to watch. The Pacifier, co-written by Tom Lennon and Robert Ben Garant and directed by Adam Shankman, is about what happens when an ex-Navy Seal has to be a nanny to the children of a government scientist. You guessed it, friends: wackiness does ensue. Despite having people like Lauren Graham and Brad Garrett in supporting roles, The Pacifier was nothing if not a pure embarrassment for everyone involved; what’s more, Diesel doesn’t look like he’s having any fun, whereas Schwarzenegger was able to sell his enthusiasm, real or otherwise.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Early on in the 2003 action comedy The Rundown, Arnold Schwarzenegger walks out of a crowded bar, passing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and saying, “Good luck.” This was seen as a passing of the torch of sorts. It’s unfortunate that Johnson has since gone straight to the part of Schwarzenegger’s career that is Kindergarten Cop, and just repeated himself ever since (this is all a way for me to tell you to watch The Rundown, an extremely underrated action movie). Johnson started out in his career as a charismatic brute, and now plays against that notion in family movies such as The Game Plan, Race to Witch Mountain, and the recent Tooth Fairy. All of these films are sold on the same notion as was Kindergarten Cop: big, tough guy dealing with kids. The premise isn’t really high-concept, even if Johnson’s playing a mythical creature like the Tooth Fairy.
Like Brendan Fraser, though, Johnson has the consistent knack of being charming, even if he’s in a terrible movie. On the merits of The Rundown and his appearances on Saturday Night Live do I give him a pass. He’s not the most trained actor, nor is he the most accomplished. I’d rather see him in action movies, but if he needs to appear in the latest dreck from Disney’s live-action film department, so be it. What would be nice, though, is if he had taken the torch Schwarzenegger metaphorically passed in The Rundown and gone ahead to be the lead in films such as, say, Avatar and Clash of the Titans. Why couldn’t The Rock have replaced Sam Worthington? He’s got all the charm the latter actor’s not in possession of, and in spades. My fingers remain crossed that The Rock will vacate family films, and soon.