The Amazing Race Recap
I feel like I’m in, like, Sicily
By Daron Aldridge
April 27, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Hey! Shanghai is totally ripping off the Sunsphere!

“I feel like I’m in, like, Sicily,” – Brent showing off his geography skills

Last week on the Amazing Race, we all lost out to the CMAs, which pre-empted our favorite reality show. So, looking back at two weeks ago, we were finally treated to the elimination of Brandy and Carol at the hands of South Carolina’s Brent and Caite. This elimination leaves Caite as the last racer with an XX chromosome. We’ll see how long she lasts now that she is no longer fueled by sheer hatred of the lesbians.

Brothers Dan and Jordan won the Fast Forward and easily sailed into first place, which means they get to leave first from Singapore, Thailand at 4:47 p.m. The guys explain that they have gotten along surprisingly well, or as Dan points out, “I hate him just as much now as I did before [the race.]” That is one awkwardly positive sentiment but I think I get his point…maybe.

The teams have to grab a cab for the airport and head to Shanghai, China. Once there, they have to take another cab to town of Zhujiajiao or the Venice of China thanks to its streets of water.

The masterful U-Turn artists Brent and Caite are still reveling in their successful ouster of Brandy and Carol and Caite continues to set back the role of women as expected of someone who gained notoriety in beauty pageants. She is basking in her “accomplishment” of being the last woman. It just seems like a very odd thing to be so proud of, which I read as, “I am best woman on this race but still am probably not as good as these other six men.” She might as well quote Malibu Stacy and say, “Math is hard.”

Anyway, Dan and Jordan are at the airport and discover that the airline with the next flight to Shanghai doesn’t even open until 11 p.m. Consider the playing field leveled once again. So much for that hour and a half lead the brothers had on South Carolina.

Cowboys Jet and Cord leave in third about 20 minutes after Brent and Caite and for the first time we get a bit of glimpse at the personal lives of these fellows. Jet (the one with brown hair if you don’t have them figured out at this point) has a wife and 18-month baby at home and Cord (obviously the red-headed one with an apparent inability to blink) just got engaged right before the race started. It is strange to hear about either of these facts this late in the race for these brothers, whose identities have been only been associated with their profession.

Team Super Fuzz of Michael and Louie is the last to leave and they show up at the airport at the same time as Jet and Cord.

The next social exchange while the teams wait at the airport gives us a glimpse into the hand of the producers adjusting the race to fit the flight schedules of these airlines. While Phil usually informs the audience that the teams have a mandatory 12-hour rest period, that is clearly not the case every time. With all the teams converging on the Singapore airport McDonalds, the brothers find out that Brandy and Carol were U-Turned and thus, eliminated. Caite gleefully (and with some serious crazy eyes) tells everyone about how she did in the lesbians. This is brand new information to the other teams, so there was obviously not a 12-hour layover with Phil.

As spiteful story time continues, you can tell that Jordan and Dan are uncomfortable participants and the brothers correctly and quickly surmise that this tactic was purely motivated by emotions over smart game play. They pinpoint that the cowboys should have been the U-Turn target and given how these guys can pull a first place finish from dead last, Jordan is 100 percent correct when he says, “We are all going to look back on it and question that decision.”

As expected, all four are on the same flight and have a footrace to the Shanghai taxi stand. Michael says that someone on the plane told them that about a third of the people in Shanghai speak English but they and the brothers seem to draw the short straw with their non-English speaking cabbies, who don’t have a clue where to go. South Carolina and the cowboys are much luckier and end up in the town of Zhujiajiao quickly.

Now it’s time for Social Studies and Vocabulary lessons from The Amazing Race teams. First, check out the big brain on Brent again, as Mr. Anonymous shows off his geographic prowess while they float down the streets of the town by saying, “I feel like I’m in, like, Sicily.” He really is the embodiment of Derek Zoolander. Jet describes the boat ride as tranquil, which causes his brother to try to bust on him with a “What’s that?” for using a word that is not typically in a cowboy’s vocab. Unphased, Jet correctly explains to Cord that “tranquil” means peaceful and calm. Cord seems impressed that Jet has got him some good book-learnin’.

Brent and Caite show at the clue box first for the Roadblock and Phil gives us a brief history of noodle making in China. It is as pointless as it sounds like it would be. The teams have to make 1000 grams of noodles by hand. After they are done, they will get their next clue from Pingping, who at 2 ft. 5 in. is the world’s shortest man. The presence of Pingping at the challenge seems so random and will undoubtedly result in several un-PC comments.

Caite dons the cook gear and starts her noodle making after declaring that Pingping is “so adorable” and “freakin’ awesome” and asking if she can take him home. This just reminds me that Caite is only 20 years old and not far removed from teenager-dom. Jet jumps into the challenge and provides this leftfield comparison for Pingping that I still don’t quite understand. “If he jumped out of your trash can, it would scare you to death.” That statement may be the epitome of a non sequitur. Cord offers his two cents with, “I don’t know where that guy does his shopping, but he wears a small.” They are not letting me down in my expectations of un-PC remarks.

After reaching the wrong destination, Super Fuzz and the brothers finally get a break with a local who speaks English and sets them on the right path. As they arrive at the Roadblock, Jet has once again picked up on the technique needed for the task and is separating from the competition. Apparently distracted by her desire to put Pingping in her purse, Caite is still sitting with no noodles made.

Jordan takes the Roadblock for his team and Louie cites his experience helping his Italian grandmother cook as the reason he chose to do it for Team Super Fuzz. I wonder if Louie’s grandma was from Sicily or Venice. We should ask Brent for help with this one.

Jet finishes up and they have to head to the Shanghai fashion district. To go along with the randomness of this challenge, there are also several shots of Pingping with a cigarette in his mouth. Why? I assume it was to set up this gem from Jet: “So, apparently, smoking will stunt your growth.”

While Jordan complains that his hands are freezing and Louie is shaming the memory of his deceased grandmother with his poor noodle making skills, Caite has gotten into a groove and is securely in second place. With a kiss on Pingping’s cheek, Caite bolts with the clue.

The cowboys arrive at the fashion house, which is full of various articles of clothing. The teams have to find a designer’s sketch and collect all the correct pieces of the outfit for the model to wear. The boys lament another “fine arts” challenge following their struggles with the drums earlier. Despite being fish out of water, Jet and Cord seem to be having fun with the task by joking around and embracing their deficiency in picking out clothes.

Louie recognizes that Jordan’s frustration is taking its toll on him and that this is their chance to get out in front of another team. Louie finishes and the tears start for Jordan. You can almost see the brothers’ mom beam with pride all the way from Rhode Island when Dan comes over unsolicited to boost Jordan’s spirit and encourage him that he can do this task.

Jet and Cord’s model puts all on the items they selected but alas, it is not right. They examine the sketch again and figure that the shirt was the wrong piece. After a quick change by the model, the cowboys are still in first place before another team has shown up. The cowboys then head to a football stadium for their next clue.

As they leave, Caite and Brent arrive and get to work on the task. Zooland…er…Brent and Caite say that they are used to this type of world but are usually on the other side, being the one trying on the clothes. You know, because they are so good-looking. Michael and Louie seem to have made up some ground as they show up shortly after South Carolina. But appearances are deceiving as Team Super Fuzz reverts back to their ways in early legs by not paying attention. Perfect example: They take the clue out of the clue box that is in front of the door of the fashion house and proceed to walk all over the place looking for said fashion house. The defective detectives are back.

Jordan finishes and the brothers have a chance to catch up if Michael and Louie remain lost. Meanwhile, Brent and Caite dress their model correctly the first time.

As the cowboys get to the stadium, it is not the expected Detour waiting for them but rather another Roadblock. The twist is that whoever sat out the previous noodle task is on deck for this one. That person has to take a letter-sized image and recreate the picture with 96 squares, which will then be distributed to a group of people waiting in the stands. The crowd will then flip the cards to reveal a seat number that has their next clue. Cord tackles the task by laying out all the pieces to assemble his huge puzzle.

The cops circle back to the clue box and Louie says what we are all thinking, “What kind of detectives are we? We walked right by the place.” The brothers are right behind them and they make up lost time. Michael and Louie strike out on the first attempt and grab some stockings to fix their error. Both teams’ models are getting ready and both are wrong because the models need to switch stockings with each to complete the outfit.

Team Super Fuzz and the brothers are still neck and neck. Michael then provides his wish list for another challenge that might be more suited for them. “There was a rodeo in Argentina, can we get some shooting, kick a door in, or chase a crackhead?” Sorry, Michael, I think you are only going to get that on COPS or Steven Seagal’s Lawman.

All the teams are at the stadium and as Dan and Michael start on their puzzles, Mother Nature blows through with some high winds that are havoc on the half-finished work of Cord and Brent. In typical fashion, each has a different reaction: Cord works to anchor his pieces with everything from bags and folding chairs because as he says, “Throwing a fit and kicking and screaming isn’t going to get my puzzle done.” And Brent decides to throw a fit and kick and scream.

While everyone else is laying them all out, Michael employs a different method of creating it one piece at a time. This is a woefully time-consuming approach that I don’t understand why he chose it.

Cord’s calm and, shall we say, tranquil mindset prevails as he gets his seat number and they jump on the metro train. Cord and Jet hit the mat as team number one for the fourth time this season. This may be the moment that Jordan referenced earlier about why it was a mistake to not try to hinder them with a U-Turn.

Brent finishes up despite another outburst. I wonder if the idiocy of the act of yelling at the wind dawns on Brent. I am going to say it doesn’t register with him. Anyway, he and Caite are number two again. I fear these two will be the Zach and Flo of this season with them still winning despite the fights and ineptitude.

Dan leaps past Michael. The brothers leave the stadium and get to the pitstop in third place with Michael struggling. His unorthodox method is clearly unsuccessful. He finally finishes and they make their walk of shame to Phil.

Our host mournfully tells them that they are the last team to arrive and he is “sorry to tell them that they are out...in the cold.” Phil pulls another non-elimination out of his pocket and Team Super Fuzz gets the chance to redeem themselves.

As the show comes to a close, we are shown that this episode is dedicated to Pingping. Apparently, he passed away in March of this year. This adds even more to the weirdness of this episode because the producers clearly knew he had died during editing but proceeded to include various shots of him smoking. It is very surreal. Next week we get back to the very real with Brent and Caite angry at each other.