The Amazing Race Recap
Dumb Did Us In (but not the way the sore losers mean)
By Daron Aldridge
April 13, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
The contestant of questionable sobriety and his daughter got eliminated last week after finishing first the previous leg. Will the same fate await the cowboys? Let's see.
Phil reminds us that cowboys Jet and Cord had an Amazing Race first last leg by jumping from last place, performing the Speed Bump and reaching the Malaysian pitstop in first place. They leave at 10:02 a.m. for Singapore via the lead-killing combination of bus and train. When they arrive they have to find a fellow named Allen Wu at a concert hall. Who is Wu? Why, he's the host of The Amazing Race: Asia, of course. The producers won't just let The Biggest Loser franchise have the monopoly on cross-promoting international spinoffs.
Dating couple (and arch-enemies of Team South Carolina) Brandy and Carol are next to leave at 10:12 a.m. and fill in the audience that the clue warns of a U-Turn ahead. Team Super Fuzz of Michael and Louie leave at 10:31 a.m.
Fortunately for Jet and Cord, they get on the first bus out of town and are the only team there. The public transportation equalizer didn't get them yet. South Carolina's Brent and Caite rip open their clue at 10:50 a.m. and she gleefully wishes that any of the other teams will get to the U-Turn before the "mean lesbians," so they can be punished for making fun of her and Brent's presumed (and occasionally proven) lack of intelligence. The U-Turn will require the chosen team to perform both of the Detour tasks at that point in the race.
Brandy and Carol hop on the next bus all by themselves about ten minutes before the last team of brothers Dan and Jordan leave the mat at 11:09 a.m. During their interview, the brothers declare that they don't intend to "throw elbows" or rub people the wrong way, including using a U-Turn, because look what happened to Joe and Heidi. But then Jordan throws in the escape clause of "unless it's make or break for us." At least he's being honest. It really bothers me when teams on this show get all riled up when others use the U-Turn and say they are playing dirty. If I'm ever on the show, I give everyone permission to slap me if I make such an ignorant statement should I be a U-Turn recipient.
The remaining three teams get on the next and final bus together and Dan goes fishing for information. He directly asks who they are the most concerned about for the U-Turn. Michael offers up the rationale that the girls are the most well-traveled of the teams left and Jordan correctly points out that they have yet to come in first, though. Caite, full of spite, declares that she is "100 percent U-Turning the lesbians" if they get there first. Humorously and as an attempt to make Caite defensive, Jordan asks, "Why? Because they're lesbians?" This leads to her normal chorus of "They are so mean to me all the time." The brothers see right through the excuses and understand that they are only targeting them for punishment because they don't like them. I believe that Dan was just trying to gauge the situation and see if possibly they were in the other teams' sights.
Kuala Lumpur sucks the wind out of the cowboys' lead with the news that the next train isn't until 9:30 p.m. All the teams get to settle down for a nice overnight train ride together. A few shots of the disinfecting wipes they use to clean their bunks on the train go a long way to making me not want to have this as a future vacation destination.
While the teams are waiting to disembark the train, Brandy and Carol try to nudge their way through to the next car, so they aren't at the back of this pack. With a retort that he has likely been rehearsing in his head, Brent says, "Ladies get their way; bitches don't." Zing. There is so much disdain between these teams that as much as I would love to be on this race, they have successfully made me thankful that I was nowhere near that epicenter of tension.
Michael and Louie get a cab first to go to the concert hall with Brandy and Carol, the brothers, Brent and Caite and the cowboys getting taxis in that order.
Super Fuzz and the girls get there first and immediately run inside of the hall, whereas Dan and Jordan correctly search the grounds outside the location. Bingo, they get their clue first. Not only is there a U-Turn on this leg but apparently the one and only Fast Forward is on this leg as well.
This particular task of riding the Singapore Flyer (a giant Ferris wheel) and crawling from one car to the next at its highest point. This will let the team bypass every other challenge and check in at the pitstop. Jordan and Dan go the Fast Forward because they feel confident that no one else has their clue yet.
As expected, Brent and Caite get to the concert hall and follow the other teams that are wandering the halls of the building. Jet and Cord show up and quickly come across Allen Wu just as Michael and Louie are also back outside and getting their clue.
A quick side note: Surprisingly, aside from the teams ignorantly telling Thai taxi and bus drivers to "vamanos" or "rapido," there has been a void of any "ugly American" moments on this race, which is a nice change of pace. In fact, either Jet or Cord always seems to take the time to shake the hand of every person that hands them a clue. Mama must be proud.
Time for a Detour: Pounding the Drums or Pounding the Pavement. For Drums, they have to learn a complex drum routine from a young drummer and perform it on a stage in a park. For Pavement, they have to pick up supplies to sell 25 ice cream sandwiches with a street vendor. As an unsettling but irrelevant aside, Phil informs us that an ice cream sandwich in Singapore is actually a block of ice cream between wafers or wrapped in a slide of bread. I think I will be haunted by the imagined taste of this delicacy.
Given my lack of rhythm and self-awareness about this deficiency, I would opt for Pavement. After all, I am the guy that was called out over the loud speaker for clapping off beat by the "toy soldier" emcee during the Pixar parade at Disney's Hollywood Studios. It was only extremely embarrassing.
The cowboys and Super Fuzz head for the Drums with South Carolina and Brandy and Carol not too far behind. Everyone is so focused on the race and probably the anticipated U-Turn that they don't seem to notice that Dan and Jordan aren't around.
Cord shows he is the weak percussion link on this team and Caite decides that shaking her rump helps her keep the beat. Wreckx-n-Effect must be proud.
Michael and Louie quickly realize that there isn't a chance for them to do the Drums correctly, so they head to the Fast Forward. They assume the brothers opted for the Pavement task. Unfortunately for cops, their gamble didn't pan out as Dan and Jordan are already geared up and heading to the top of the Ferris wheel. It's off to sell ice cream for Super Fuzz (after their cabbie returns from his own pitstop).
As he climbs out to start the task, Dan jokingly tells a frightened Jordan, "Hey, if you fall and die, I love you." That is the kind of encouragement that I would expect from my brother. These two have been nice complements to each others' personality in these latest legs. They get their clue and head to the pitstop.
The remaining teams at Drums all have a person who is getting increasingly more frustrated by their inability with the drum routine. Carol and Brent want to switch tasks and Cord just wants Jet to stop talking so he can concentrate.
The cowboys fail their first time out and turn the stage over to Brent and Caite, who get it done on the first shot. Michael and Louie are still peddling their ice cream, as Caite is as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning that she will get to U-Turn Brandy and Carol. She even goes as far as to say that "it is all I want." I guess if you win the whole race, Phil gets to keep the check for a million dollars, since your petty vendetta is "all you want." As mean as the girls may have been, Brent and Caite are showing their spiteful side here, too. The fact that the producers only have footage of the "Where's her tiara?" comment from the first leg to highlight Brandy and Carol's meanness implies that this has been blown out of proportion in the minds of Brent and Caite. But maybe the producers are sitting on a gold mine of snarky footage. Anyway, South Carolina is now en route to a shipyard for the Roadblock.
Back to the Drums, and Carol and Brandy finally get their Detour clue. With only ten more to sell, Michael and Louie get a gift from their cab driver who buys the remaining ones. They'd better plan to tip that guy handsomely. The girls get to the next clue and see the course of their race has been altered.
Well, all that benefit of the doubt that I was giving Brandy and Carol about not being the mean-spirited people Brent and Caite claim they are is now officially gone. They spiral out of control with hateful diatribes that offer the following gems of tact and restraint: "This is flat out stupid but let's be honest, she's hasn't built a career on intelligence." and "She's an idiot. She's on YouTube to prove it."
They do bring up a valid point similar to Jordan's earlier observation that the girls haven't won a leg, so this was not a wise move. Carol appears to be calmed down and says, "For me, it just didn't make a lot of sense." Brandy is still reeling and pops off, "You can't make sense. Stupid is as stupid does...It's Brent and Caite Gump." Brandy even adds in an unflattering impersonation of Brent as Forrest. You can't even dismiss the comments with an "in the heat of the moment" excuse because the majority of the venomous and contemptuous statements were said during their interview, which was obviously conducted post-pitstop. If you have read any of my recaps, then you know that I am no fan of Team South Carolina and do question their race choices and even relish in their absent-minded foibles in a (hopefully) playful, sarcastic manner. But pure and simple, Brandy and Carol are just hateful in their words and overall tone.
All right, back to the race. Michael and Louie get to the clue and see that their insistence to Brent and Caite to U-Turn the girls panned out. Michael admits that they slyly kept mentioning the supposed edge that Brandy and Carol had over them, as a way to deflect Brent and Caite from recognizing that they should be U-Turning the stronger/better performing teams. This is a beautifully executed strategy. They express their desire for a final three of them with Brent and Caite and Jet and Cord. Super Fuzz is a much bigger player than I figured they would be.
It's anchors aweigh at that the Roadblock as the teams have to count the chain links on a giant anchor chain before getting their clue. Brent suits up for this task and starts counting but is distracted by the PA voice that is calling out random numbers.
Jet and Cord finally channel their inner timpanist and would be the last ones to finish their Detour task, if not for the U-Turn, which the girls are still fuming over and attacking each other now. Self-destruction, thy names are Brandy and Carol.
Despite the distractions, Brent clears the Roadblock on the first attempt and they are off to another task. It seems like this leg has been fast-paced but more task-heavy than usual. Teams have to go to an amusement park and ride the Mega Zip.
Jet and Cord are thrilled that they weren't the ones U-Turned and head to the Roadblock. Michael takes the Roadblock for Super Fuzz and brilliantly grabs a "pitch counter" that he uses for little league. This smart move is somewhat counteracted by the slip up of not grabbing the clipboard and report needed to complete the task. Jet steps up for the cowboys and he and Michael are battling for third place.
Despite all their complaining, it doesn't appear that Team Bitter of Brandy and Carol are too far behind as they complete the Pavement Detour. Back at the clue next to the U-Turn, Brandy continues with her criticism and derogatory remarks about Caite.
The objects of their disdain are loaded up on the MegaZip and sail on down to the next clue. The final task seems to be just an extra step to potentially give the U-Turned team a chance to possibly catch up. It may work out that way and if so, there will be fireworks galore on the next leg.
Michael gets the right number and is informed that he must get his clipboard to get the clue. As Jet and Michael finish the Roadblock, Carol and Brandy arrive. The cowboys' taxi waited and Super Fuzz's didn't. So, Jet and Cord are on their way to the MegaZip and Michael and Louie are trying to convince the girls' waiting cabbie to take them instead. I find it satisfying that the jerk move employed by the gay brothers from last season didn't pan out this time around.
Brent and Caite are team number two and Phil questions them about U-Turning Brandy and Carol. Smugly, Caite says they brought it on themselves. They make it hard for me to take their side here, especially given Brandy and Carol's attitude this leg, but Brent and Caite also come across as deluded and arrogant. I wish there was a way for both teams to be eliminated but I will just keep hope alive that the girls end up in last.
Jet and Cord knock out the zip line task and are off to the marina pitstop, which they hit as team number three. They recovered decently from Cord's lack of percussion-ism. Super Fuzz repeat their mistake from the concert hall at the beginning and wander around the amusement park trying to find the zip line, which everyone else found easily. They appear to only be a few minutes ahead of Brandy and Carol. After the Mega Zip, they are both hoofing it from their cabs to the pitstop.
Officially, Super Fuzz is team number four and Brandy and Carol are eliminated from the race. As I rejoice in this fact, the vitriol continues with Brandy providing us with the episode title of "Dumb did us in," and Carol comparing them to first graders. To paraphrase Ron Burgundy, "Stay classy, Brandy and Carol."
For the next week, I will cross my fingers that Brent and Caite don't make the cut into the final three, so I can legitimately say that I would be happy if any of the last three teams were to win.