Trailer Hitch Part II
By BOP Staff
April 1, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Marmaduke – Opens June 4th
David Mumpower: This is apparently aiming to be the Saturday Night Fever of dog movies. I'm not looking to point fingers here, but this is what happens when Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Marley and Me make a bazillion dollars each. We get more dog movies. I don't want to overstate the awfulness of this since the Internet has been all over this for a week now, but if I watch this trailer again, I might come to agree with Michael Vick on some things.
Josh Spiegel: So, a couple of months ago, my wife and I embarked on our first of, I'm sure many, Bad Movie Marathons. I'm sure I'm late to the trend (or at least, not the first person to light upon this idea), but we watched a few pieces of ridiculous trash, drank a bit, and laughed until we cried. Among the movies were Sweet November (which may be one of the greatest movies ever made), The Forgotten, and Righteous Kill.
I say all of this to point to this: Marmaduke presents itself, with this preview, as the sole contender from 2010. This movie looks face-meltingly bad. I do not know who could be interested in this movie. Yes, Marley & Me (starring Owen Wilson!) and Beverly Hills Chihuahua (George Lopez!) were popular, but one was based on a hugely famous book, and the other....well, the other one tried to capitalize on the love for tiny dogs in purses. This movie is based on a comic strip that, until the news of this film being made broke, I was unaware still existed.
I think what shocks me most is that, apparently, I should be excited that Owen Wilson is Marmaduke! George Lopez is his feline friend! William H. Macy plays a man who desperately needs a new house in Aspen, so he'll do anything for a paycheck! Fergie plays Marmaduke's love interest! (And what circle of hell are we in that such a sentence even exists?) Kiefer Sutherland! Judy Greer! Dancing dogs!
I sincerely hope this film dies a terrible death.
Reagen Sulewski: I want everyone involved in the making of this film tried in The Hague.
Michael Lynderey: Well, what can you really say - you get a couple of these talking critter pictures per summer, and they usually do pretty well. I'm looking at Garfield numbers right now ($75 million) - probably no more than that.
What I take away from the trailer - it's always nice to see William H. Macy - yes, even in a movie like this - and George Lopez is getting pretty prolific. That's about it.
I was under the impression that Amanda Seyfried was in this movie somewhere, but it looks like she has disappeared.
The picture on Wikipedia for Marmaduke, the comic strip, is pretty cute.
Jason Dean: Beverly Hills Chihuahua vs Marmaduke!
And Sweet November is definitely well, something. I've seen parts of that more times than any male should admit to. Initially I'd claim it was cause Charlize is pretty but most of them just out of sheer horrified entertainment.
Josh Spiegel: That sounds like a great cage match, as long as neither competitor makes it out alive.
Sweet November is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I'm not sure how solid your memory of that film is, but there's a scene where Keanu Reeves has to make a pitch (he's in advertising) to a hot dog company and...well, Don Draper from Mad Men would weep.
Max Braden: I started watching this trailer and I was thinking, "okay, I get it - this isn't my type of movie, but it's for kids, and kids love dogs, and this will entertain them harmlessly. And it doesn't even matter if this holds to the comic strip; the kids who see this probably don't even know what a newspaper is anyway. And who doesn't have a soft spot for animals, really? I actually laughed at Cats & Dogs, and I watched G-Force at a drive-in with a four-year-old girl last summer [relax, we were chaperoned] and it wasn't awful." And then I got to the dancing dogs. Holy dogcrap, Batman, these criminals never learn.
Jim Van Nest: Um, no. Just...no.
Despicable Me – Opens July 9th
David Mumpower: We're four trailers in and I still have only the vaguest understanding of what this movie is going to be. Even so, I am captivated by all of the ads to date. This promises a little bit of everything from The Incredibles to Dr. Horrible to Toy Story (I keep waiting for one of the little yellow guys to say that the claw has chosen) to Austin Powers to The Tick. In fact, this strikes me as the movie Ben Edlund was never allowed to make. I'm as excited about this as anything on the summer schedule save for Iron Man 2.
Josh Spiegel: I agree with the first sentence of your statement, David. From that point on, I...admire your optimism. I can't say I'm nearly as excited, though the cast is definitely very cool. I think my issue is that, if memory serves correctly, the movie is from the same folks who did the Ice Age movies (or at least some people from the series). Those movies have great trailers, but I don't ever need to see the movies.
Granted, I'm not sure these trailers are as hilarious as the Scrat trailers for Ice Age, but the sheer vague nature is part of what's so intriguing. That said, the new trailer, which shows that the Steve Carell character will be saddled with three young girls, gives me pause. I can already feel the sentimentality crushing me. I'm willing to give this movie a chance, but I can't share your enthusiasm.
Ben Farrow: This will be the dumbest most stupidist cartoon ever - I mean cry of the cryptkeeper, blessed ankh killing, soul sucking bad, you will see things that can not be unseen, ever, ever, ever ....
Michael Lynderey: Mr. Farrow clearly has a point, but I'm so rabidly biased against CGI cartoons as to agree with any of their detractors.
This movie looks 'very' similar to that Will Ferrell one, MegaMind - aside from the obvious, they both feature Apatow comedians voicing the lead!
I mean, I guess it'll make $100 million - it kind of has to, right? Its only competition is Predators.
But these things are really starting to annoy me. The CGI trend begun by Shrek in 2001 has to end, soon. For whatever reason, I believe that a large number of trends that begin at the start of a decade end at the beginning of the next one. It might sound weird, but I've seen many examples of this. Shrek releasing its last chapter this year is but one.
Max Braden: I have a complaint. Why is it that these cartoon villains have to be barrel-chested with skinny-jean legs? All it should take from the hero is one good kick to the shins and game over. Anyway, on paper the Monsters, Inc. and Monsters vs Aliens approach of making the apparent villain the lead is clever, but I'm not getting anything from these trailers other than sight gags. That, too, isn't a terrible thing, since I was bored by most of Up. But I think Planet 51 took the same approach, and where did it get? Less than $45 million total. I'd like to be excited about this, but I'm too wary. They do a good job at least of showing off how good the 3D effect will be. So there's that.
Jerry Simpson: Wait, Wait, Wait. BORED BY UP! How dare you, Sir?
Max Braden: Dozed off, even. I was probably lacking sleep before the movie, but it didn't have enough action to hold my attention until the end. Imagine how poorly the movie would have done if they had called it Taking a Balloon For a Walk.
Michael Lynderey: Heh, I've never been able to sit through WALL-E without falling asleep (really).
Pixar films just have the habit of causing this to me... at least since after 1999.
Josh Spiegel: This Pixar-bashing is an early April Fools joke, right?
RIGHT?
David Mumpower: This is like turning heel on Bambi and rooting for her mother's death.
Jerry Simpson: It's more like being "MAN" and shooting Bambi's mother while warming up the Barbeque.