TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for March 30 2010 through April 5
By John Seal
March 29, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 3/30/10
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Dersu Uzala (1974 JAP): Akira Kurosawa Month draws to an end with Dersu Uzala--not the director's last film, but arguably his last great one. The film also marks a departure from Kurosawa's usual theme—the internal machinations of the parochial Japanese—in favor of a wider pan-Asian palette. Set in Siberia (and partially funded by the Soviet government), the film stars Yuri Solomin as Vladimir Arseniev, a soldier leading an expedition into the vast and treacherous wastelands of the Russian Far East. When danger looms, Vladimir is rescued by local woodsman Dersu Uzala (Maksim Munzuk), and the two become fast friends. Years later, the Russian convinces his aging chum to live out his golden years in the big city of Khabarovsk, but Dersu is unable to adapt to an urban environment and returns to the forest to die. It doesn't sound like much, but it's a beautiful, deeply moving film that assumes a more epic scope than Kurosawa's more introspective work. Dersu Uzala makes its American widescreen television debut this afternoon, and is not to be missed.
7:00 PM Sundance
Blue Blood (2006 GB): Perhaps you're familiar with the annual Boat Race, in which competing rowing teams from Britain's premier universities, Oxford and Cambridge, face-off to claim the big prize: a 500 pound tub of clotted cream. No, I lie—the glory is all in the winning, but it really is called ‘The Boat Race'. Even if you have heard of it, however, you're probably not familiar with another annual donnybrook between the two schools: the Varsity Boxing Match, in which matriculating pugilists hit each other repeatedly with their dissertations whilst dressed in gowns and mortarboards. No, I lie again—they actually don gloves and protective head gear before whaling on each other. This film focuses on Oxford's 2005 team, and whilst they're not quite as absurd as the participants in Monty Python's Upper Class Twit of the Year contest, they still could be fairly described as over-privileged silly asses. If your idea of good fun is watching toffs pound the bejesus out of each other, you'll love Blue Blood, which airs again 3/31 at 12:30 AM.
Wednesday 3/31/10
1:35 AM HBO 2
They Killed Sister Dorothy (2008 USA): If this documentary doesn't make you angry, you must be a rapacious Brazilian land owner. Or, perhaps, a talk radio host who preserves his or her righteous indignation for disabled children, homeless veterans, injured pets, or nuns who work for social justice. If you're neither, however, then tune in to They Killed Sister Dorothy, and learn how this generous, open-hearted, and deeply caring 73-year old woman was murdered by loggers anxious to clear-cut the jungle surrounding the village where she lived and worked. You have my guarantee that it will piss you off. Unless you're Glenn Beck.
7:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Neptune Factor (1973 CAN): My memory insisted this was a made-for-TV movie, but a quick trip to IMDb soon set me right. It's an understandable error, though: The Neptune Factor is a sedate, somewhat lumpen affair that could just as easily have debuted on the Tuesday Night Movie of the Week as on the big screen. Directed by Daniel Petrie, the film relates the efforts of an expedition sent to rescue the inhabitants of a deep sea underwater laboratory, which has been damaged by a massive earthquake. Only the submersible Neptune is capable of plumbing the necessary depths, so it's up to skipper Adrian Blake (Ben Gazzara), diver Don McKay (Ernest Borgnine—in a diving suit?!?), and beautiful but brilliant scientist Leah Jansen (Yvette Mimieux, who certainly appeared in her share of TV movies) to bring the sunken to the surface. It's not great, it's not terrible, and it certainly ain't Cassavetes—but the film has enough suspense to make it a mild buy, and co-stars avuncular Walter Pidgeon as a Very Important Scientist.
5:15 PM HD NET
The Warlords (2007 CHI): Well, here's something a little out of the ordinary. The Warlords is a Jet Li epic concerning internecine warfare in ancient China, and makes its television debut this afternoon. The out of the ordinary bit: it also opens in cinemas this coming Friday! If a concurrent theatrical/HD release has happened in the past, I'm not aware of it--but this is probably a precursor of things to come. As for the film itself, it's an above average action feature, and co-stars Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro as soldiers allied with Jet in a struggle against iniquitous General Ho and the armies of Nanking. The Warlords is a film best appreciated on the big screen, so if it's playing at a theatre near you, I suggest you avail yourself of that option. If, however, it's not—and you have an HD hookup—you won't regret checking it at out at home.
Thursday 4/01/10
5:00 PM IFC
Southern Comfort (1981 USA): Not to be confused with the transgender documentary of the same name, Southern Comfort is a first-rate action movie set in the Deep South, and features enough slack-jawed hillbillies (well, Cajuns, to be precise) to satisfy even the most rabid Deliverance fan. No, it's not the most ethnically-sensitive film ever made, but it is pretty exciting. Directed by Walter Hill in between his box office action hits The Warriors (1979) and 48 Hrs. (1982), this story of National Guardsmen lost in the bayous of Louisiana is extremely well-cast, with Keith Carradine, Fred Ward, and the underappreciated Powers Boothe as part-time soldiers and cinema heavy Brion James as one of the loony locals. There's an outstanding score by Ry Cooder, too. Also airs 4/2 at midnight.
Friday 4/02/10
9:00 PM IFC
Beyond Re-Animator (2003 USA): Stuart Gordon's 1985 feature Re-Animator became an instant word of mouth hit on the midnight movie circuit and quickly established itself as a horror classic. Brian Yuzna assumed the reins for both 1990's sequel, Bride of Re-Animator, and this third chapter in the saga, in which anti-hero Herbert West (still Jeffrey Combs, as good as ever twenty years on) finds himself serving time for crimes against science. Prison isn't much fun, of course—until Dr. Howard Phillips (MirrorMask's Jason Barry) assumes control of the jailhouse infirmary and decides to apply Herbert's knowledge to some of his own questionable experiments. Needless to say, BAD IDEA, but GOOD IDEA if you're a gore fan. Though shot in Spain (and featuring some woeful dubbing), this is still tons of fun, and apparently there's more on the way: IMDb indicates that House of Re-Animator is due for release sometime this year. Indications are this could be a real treat, with original director Gordon returning alongside Combs and Bruce Abbott, who portrayed easily manipulated straight arrow Dean Cain in the original film.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Burnt Offerings (1976 USA): And speaking of horror classics...no, I don't think anyone would apply that appelation to Burnt Offerings. However, it's making its widescreen television debut this evening on TCM, and was partly shot in my adopted hometown of Oakland, California, so it's a must for the TiVoPlex. Oliver Reed and Karen Black star as Ben and Marian Rolf, a middle-class couple who rent a creepy mansion from wheelchair-bound Arnold Allardyce (Burgess Meredith) and his creepy sister Roz (Eileen Heckert). Ben and Marian bring along son Davey (Lee Montgomery) and dear old Aunt Elizabeth (Bette Davis) for a frolicsome summer holiday, but strange things start to happen and Ben begins to behave oddly. Does the old woman in the locked attic hold the key to the
bizarre goings-on? Reed gurns his way through the final reel and Davis is a treat to watch in this otherwise pedestrian shocker. It's followed at 1:00 AM by an even sillier horror flick, 1982's The House Where Evil Dwells, in which the ghost of a murdered woman possesses the body of scream queen Susan George.
Saturday 4/03/10
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Mr. Hex (1946 USA): Chapter 5 in the Bowery Boys saga, and by now the bloom is definitely off the rose, if it ever was a rose in the first place. This time, goofball Sach (Huntz Hall) is hypnotized into believing that he's a boxer. His newfound abilities attract the attention of racketeers, who decide they want a cut of the prize money he's earning. Hypnotism would return to haunt the Boys in 1957's Hold That Hypnotist, but we've got a further forty Saturday mornings to go before we get to see that one!
4:00 PM HBO Signature
Sugar (2009 USA): Yeah, I was impressed by The Hurt Locker, but this was my favorite film of 2009. What's that? You've never heard of Sugar? Well, it played on the arthouse circuit for a few weeks, and if you like indie dramas and/or baseball movies, you'll really, really love it, too. The story of a dirt poor Dominican pitcher (Algenis Perez Soto) climbing the minor league ladder in search of fame and fortune, this feature from writer/director team Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (the pair also responsible for the equally fine Half Nelson in 2006) neither asks the viewer to suspend disbelief nor relies on mawkish sentimentality to make its point. It's just about perfect, and should have a very long ancillary life as baseball fans begin to discover its many pleasures. Also airs 4/5 at 6:00 PM.
Sunday 4/04/10
5:00 PM IFC
Fear City (1984 USA): One of bad boy director Abel Ferrara's paeans to life on the mean streets of pre-Giuliani New York, Fear City makes its widescreen television debut this afternoon. This is one of Ferrara's bigger budgeted efforts (Fox initially funded it before bailing out later), and stars Tom Berenger as Matt Rossi, a ‘talent agent' whose clients are hired at some of the Big Apple's classiest nudie bars. When a serial killer starts slicing and dicing strippers, Matt is immediately considered suspect number one by police officer Wheeler (Billy Dee Williams, sans Colt 45 Malt Liquor), and learns that the only way to exonerate himself may involve doing a little detective work of his own. Co-starring Melanie Griffith as Matt's love interest and Rosanno Brazzi as a hoodlum, Fear City is typical Ferrara: nasty, brutish, and (relatively) short.
Monday 4/05/10
9:15 AM Sundance
The End of the Line (2009 GB): Punning title aside, The End of the Line is a sobering documentary about the depletion of fishing stocks and the unwillingness of governments, fishing companies, and fisherfolk to come to terms with the problem. Narrated by investigative reporter Charles Clover, the film examines the insidious spread of factory fishing, and cites examples of species—such as the cod of Nova Scotia—that have subsequently gone the way of the dodo. If you weren't already thinking twice about tucking into a nice Chilean sea bass or ordering some blue fin sushi, The End of the Line should provide you further food for thought. Hey, fish is brain food, right? Maybe that sustainably farmed Filet O' Fish Sandwich might be the more ecologically friendly entrée selection.
5:00 PM Sundance
Until the Light Takes Us (2008 USA): This rockumentary was in cinemas only a few weeks ago; I missed it then, and am thrilled to report its appearance this evening on Sundance. It's an examination of Norwegian black metal, a doomy sub-genre of hard rock renowned for adherents who devote themselves to the worship of tremolo picking, misanthropy, and Satan, but in reality enjoy knitting, puppy dogs, long walks on the beach, and burning down churches. Or so they say. Made by two San Franciscans who moved to Norway with the express purpose of traveling into black metal's heart of darkness, Until the Light Takes Us is, no doubt, going to be an eye-opening and ear-deafening experience.