This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for March 12, 2010
By Curt David
March 12, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Rewatching The Hurt Locker, the kids delighted in all of the sight gags they'd originally missed
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (surprisingly, Grand Hotel, Hotel Rwanda, and Hotel for Dogs all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (IMDb has Ms. Zeta-Jones rumored to be making a movie called Stompanato. She could be playing screen actress Lana Turner, who had a romance with gangster Johnny Stompanato. He was then stabbed and killed by Lana's daughter).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of March 12th, the new movies in wide release are Green Zone, Our Family Wedding, Remember Me, and She's Out of My League

Green ZoneOur Family WeddingRemember MeShe's Out of My LeagueWinner
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThe zone is going to be green. Sounds clear cut, but I'm still confused. Hilarity and touching moments are guaranteed to happen in a movie with this title. I'm guessing a romantic drama. Ah yes, the story of my life. I'm most familiar with my own autobiography, so She's Out of My League gets the point for the clearest title.
Best Genre &
Rating		War Drama

Rated R for violence and language. 		Comedy

Rated PG-13 for some sexual content and brief strong language. 		Romantic Drama

Rated PG-13 for violence, sexual content, language, and smoking. 		Romantic Comedy

Rated R for language and sexual content. 		I guessed three out of four plots correctly by the titles alone! Yet, Green Zone will get the point for being the only movie that is not romantic or comedic.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller is done following orders.

Whoa! That is an interesting tagline for a war movie. And a never-before-heard shout-out to chief warrant officers.

4/5 stars 		To have and to hold... til dads do us part.

Okay, a nice marriage pun and the plot of the two fathers not liking each other. Not bad.

3/5 stars 		Live in the Moments

Hmmmm.

1/5 stars. 		How can a 10 go for a 5? It'll all add up March 12th.

Clever poster. A girl that is a "10" is falling for an average guy. What's the story????

3/5 stars 		Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller gets the point.

(Side note: Last week's Cleverest Tagline receives a retraction at the bottom of this column)
Best Part of
Trailer 		The trailer looked like a fun Bourne knock-off. (Probably on purpose, the trailer didn't tell you this was based on a true story of the Iraq War. Knowing that made the trailer awesome.)The "This will be an Everlasting Love" song makes any wedding trailer tolerable to watch. Rich father has neglected troubled son who loves the daughter of a cop. That's the plot. Haha. A funny, clever plot. The first romantic comedy where the guy is average-looking and the girl is gorgeous. Green Zone and She's Out of My League split the point, as those are the two movies I want to watch after seeing the trailers.
Coolest Lead ActorMatt Damon from the Ocean's Trilogy, the Bourne Trilogy, and just nominated for an Oscar for Invictus. Forest Whitaker won an Oscar for The Last King of Scotland and also directed Hope Floats (?who knew?) Robert Pattinson was Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies and Edward Cullen from the Twilight movies. Jay Buruchel has had supporting roles in Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder, and Night at the Museum 2. Matt Damon gets 2/3 of a point for being the coolest actor. Forest Whitaker gets 1/3 of a point for also being able to direct Hope Floats!
Best Cast MemberAmy Ryan is Holly from The Office!!! (and was nominated for an Oscar for the drama Gone Baby Gone) America Ferrera is Ugly Betty and was in some Sisterhood Pants movies. Oscar-nominated Lena Olin was the sexiest star of the TV show Alias (Sydney's Mom). Geoff Stults is aka Ben from 7th Heaven. 2/3rds of a point for Lena Olin for being my favorite character on the best show ever: Alias. And 1/3rd of a point for Amy Ryan for being my favorite character on the second best show ever: The Office.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Paul Greengrass has also directed the last two Bourne movies and United 93. Director Rick Famuyiwa has also directed Brown Sugar. Director Allen Coulter has directed an episode from every TV show ever made (Law and Order, Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, X-Files, etc.) Director Jim Field Smith has directed several short comedy films. Paul Greengrass, who can clearly direct a Bourne-type movie with Matt Damon, gets the point because he directed United 93.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Green Zone gets 4 1/2 points, She's Out of My League gets 1 1/2 points, Remember Me gets 2/3 point, and Our Family Wedding gets 1/3 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to watch a movie in 3D, skip these movies and go watch Alice in Wonderland. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Green Zone is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Last week, I incorrectly stated that the tagline for Alice in Wonderland, "You've got a very important date," was the best tagline so far of 2010. However, one of my faithful readers*, informed me that I had previously praised the tagline for the action film From Paris with Love, which said, "Two agents. One City. No Merci." No Mercy! No Merci!! HAHAHAHA! I retract my comment from last week, and also agree that the award for Best Tagline in 2010 still goes to From Paris with Love.
Conclusion 3: *Thanks Brother.