The Amazing Race Recap
Run Like Scalded Dogs
By Daron Aldridge
March 2, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Last week, slow and steady didn't win the Amazing Race, as strong-willed grandma and granddaughter learned in the second leg.
We catch up to the teams waiting for their next departure from Chile. At only the third episode into this season, the Travelocity gnome makes an earlier than usual appearance. The teams must take one of two buses to Argentina to a saloon and defeat the gnome in a game of Five Card Stud. This saloon is apparently the site where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid hid out while in South America. With a couple of cuts to a photo of the real outlaws, we are reminded how neither of these chaps even remotely resembles the handsome looks of Paul Newman or Robert Redford. The real outlaws look more like this season's Michael and Louie.
In the spirit of cowboydom, Jet and Cord are the first team to leave and head to the bus station to wait for the first bus, which will take only the first three teams. They declare matter-of-factly that "We don't have to run like scalded dogs." Not only did the producer pick a superfluous quote for the title, they unnecessarily made it seem more anxious with an exclamation point tacked onto the end. This doesn't bode well for potential one-liners this episode.
Next, allied teams of Joe and Heidi and Carol and Brandy get their clues and know that they have the final two spots on the first bus, so the race is more of a stroll at this point. The cowboys decide to stop into a bar to find someone that speaks English to get info on Argentina. Fortuitously, they find a woman who lived in Argentina for a couple years and gives them the basic intel on where they are headed.
We get a bit of a back story on Carol and Brandy as they admit they have only been dating about five months and they don't know everything about each other. They just telegraphed tension for this team, which is great for viewing but bad for racing.
The next team is Team South Carolina, Brent and Caite, but they are preparing for a departure of a different kind – to the emergency room. With an image not likely in her modeling portfolio, Caite is heard yakking in the bathroom and then crawling back into bed. They speculate that they got food poisoning and are both dehydrated to the point where they head to the hospital to get checked out. I guess the Amazing Race doesn't have the handy dandy medical team on speed dial like their Survivor counterparts. Team South Carolina misses their departure time which means that lawyers Monique and Shawne are now the fourth team to leave.
As Brent and Caite get pumped full of fluids, the remaining four teams have left the pitstop and headed to wait for their bus. Three hours after their departure time, they finally get back to the mat and are pushing through the exhaustion and overall crappiness. Luckily, there is another six-hour bus ride in their future that will let them get a bit more rest.
Due to a strong showing last week, Carol and Brandy now recognize that the cowboys are a team to be taken seriously. Brandy notes, "They have tricks up their sleeves and their tricks have tricks." (Better alternate episode title #1). It's nice to see the boys debunking the dumb hick stereotype to some degree but I wager they wish people would continue to underestimate them on the race. While the compliments are doled out to the guys from the girls, Jet and Cord are put off by their incessant asking how they have gotten ahead and didn't get the "warm and fuzzy vibe from them." As Jet puts it, "A ‘Hey, how you doing?' would have been nice."
So the first bus with Jet and Cord, Joe and Heidi and Carol and Brandy leaves 20 minutes ahead of bus number two with the other six teams. In Argentina, even though the cowboys know where they are going, they pull over to give the impression they are lost, so the others won't just follow them.
The second bus arrives and the teams make a break for the saloon, except for South Carolina who immediately get turned around, and brothers Dan and Jordan, who succumb to Dan's stick shift ineptitude once again. Note to future Racers: Add this item to your checklist right after "Buy backpack" – LEARN TO DRIVE A MANUAL TRANSMISSION BEFORE STARTING THE RACE.
The first bus teams reach the saloon. Since Five Card Stud is a game of 100% chance, this could be damaging to any team. Unlike the challenges where the teams control how they perform, these luck-of-the-draw tasks would make me extremely uneasy as a contestant.
Joe and Heidi win the first hand played as well as Carol and Brandy. The cowboys lose two hands to the inanimate object before finally getting a winning hand. All three teams head to the Roadblock that requires them to use a rope to lasso a bale of hay and pull it to them to get the clue.
While the red flag is raised in the viewers' minds that having a challenge with lassos and a team that are professional cowboys is unfair, the producers boldly beat us to the punch. Brandy complains but in his interview, Cord points out, "Brandy didn't think it was fair because this Roadblock is too much like our way of life, but we didn't throw a fit because they know Spanish and we don't."
Here are my two cents. I agree with Cord. Every season there are multiple teams that have a language advantage over the others (e.g. hippies BJ and Tyler speaking fluent Japanese in a previous season), so does that mean the producers should rule out any destination in which teams have linguistic advantage? Of course not. Second, the show typically tries to highlight an aspect of the host country's culture in the challenges and ranching and cowboys seem to figure prominently into this area. Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Carol, Heidi and Jet each get a rope and start throwing. Jet gets it on the second toss but embarrassingly acknowledges that he will get some heat back home for not getting it on the first try. The girls are struggling and complaining about it. I know you're surprised.
Team Big Brother is the first team for the second bus and they win their poker hand easily. As Jeff clumsily knocks over a chair, he exclaims, "I'm busting up this joint." (Better alternate episode title #2). Jeff represents Big Brother at the Roadblock and proves he's more Emmitt Smith than Wild Bill Hickok in the cowboy department. Carol and Heidi get through the challenge and head to the next task, which is located on cliffs by a river. In the car, the girlfriends' foreshadowed tension is rearing its head as Carol the navigator gets resistance from Brandy the driver because she can't see a river. Cut to a similarly themed argument between Brent and Caite as they try to find the saloon and I think I would rather be in an RV with Robin Williams than some of these teams. Mental note: Never apply to be an Amazing Race cameraman.
Coach Steve and daughter Allie show up at the saloon fifth but there's no sign of Monique and Shawne, detectives Michael and Louie, or brothers Dan and Jordan. Jet and Cord reach the Detour, which is a choice between Horse Sense and Horse Power. For Horse Sense, they have to use a sign compass and a set number of paces to find a bag of loot. Said bag must then be taken to the "lead bandit" at the train station for their clue. For Horse Power, they have to use a practice polo pony (basically a five-foot tall non-rocking wooden horse) to hit a ball with a polo mallet the length of the field in nine hits (alternating between players). Based upon how convoluted the directions for Horse Sense are, which I admittedly streamlined here, I would choose the polo Horse Power option.
The cowboys of course go with Horse Power but are disappointed to see that it's not a real horse they will be using. Back at the ranch, Jeff finally defeats his inner city slicker and gets the clue while Coach Steve is getting started. The defective detectives Michael and Louie show up at the saloon and Coach gains some ground on Big Brother by finishing up quickly.
Next up is more arguing from Carol and Brandy and aimless wandering by married Joe and Heidi. At least, now the dating couple has reached the Detour and chosen Horse Sense. Jet and Cord finish Horse Power on the first attempt and get the clue in the form of a trophy with the pitstop name printed on the bottom.
Dan and Jordan are the second to the last ones at the saloon but Louie and Shawne are still working out their lasso arm muscles.
I guess their arguing is not confined to motor vehicles because Carol and Brandy are now fighting in a field trying to find the bags of loot. Instead of using the compass coordinates they were given and told to use, Carol impulsively runs toward a shovel and off the paces that Brandy was counting. Luckily for them, their misadventures in an Argentine field are now joined by Jeff and Jordan and Joe and Heidi, who both make equally foolish moves. First, Jeff glosses over the "go to the train station" part of the directions and thinks that the guy who gave them the coordinates is the "lead bandit". The producers point this out to us viewers with the slo-mo/gong effect when he makes this assumption. Next, Joe in all his brilliance decides to use the compass on his watch to find the location. Unless it somehow doubles as a pedometer or is a compass watch built 150 years ago, this isn't going to help matters.
Coach Steve and Allie dash to Horse Power and Steve is safe sliding into third base...oh, nevermind...he was just slipping down an incline into a puddle of muck. He has a nice recovery, though.
Gripe, gripe, gripe is all we are getting from Carol and Brandy and Brandy rightfully explains they didn't follow the coordinates and pacing. Carol pitches a fit and throws down the clue. In their interview, Carol acknowledges that the frustration and arguing will likely take a toll on them long term. That seems a bit overdramatic from what we have seen so far because this is the first major argument for them. They bail on Horse Sense and head to Horse Play.
The prides of South Carolina Brent and Caite are still lost and have yet to reach the saloon and better hurry because Dan just finished. If they have a prayer of staying in this leg, they can't be the last and only ones at the Roadblock.
Unsurprisingly, Joe's watch compass is of no use and Jeff's clue misread results in their delayed completion. Even with Joe asking them where the train station is, Jeff is still clueless. With bag number two, Jeff still gets no clue from the non-lead bandit who humorlessly stares at him each time he asks for it.
Louie and Michael finish the Roadblock while Monique and Shawne languish. This very well could be the second Phil-task-visiting elimination this season so far unless Shawne gets it into gear while Brent and Caite continue their scenic tour of Argentina.
Steve and Allie blaze through Horse Power by working together nicely and Carol and Brandy also finish Horse Power in spite of working together horribly. Joe and Heidi have abandoned the treasure hunt and mounted their practice pony.
Brent and Caite FINALLY get to the Roadblock and Brent gets the clue in two throws. Brent's effort here gives me even more reason to think that the challenge wasn't unfairly slanted toward the cowboys or else the other non-rodeo circuit teams couldn't have completely it easily. So Brent and Caite have officially lapped Monique and Shawne. Cue the strategically placed commercial break.
Coming back we see Shawne say a prayer and successfully lasso the hay bale. Their victorious footage is put into perspective by the next shot of Jet and Cord landing on the mat as team number one.
Michael and Louie take on Horse Sense and Michael tries to bring in some nonsensical logic about treating it like a grid search. Well, his grid search finds Jeff and Jordan's elusive bag. It finally dawns on Jeff after getting stonewalled a third time by the same guy that he's not the lead bandit. He admits with faux outrage that they are stupid and caps it off with a "We definitely shouldn't reproduce." (Better alternate episode title #3.)
Joe and Heidi get their polo trophy and make a break for pitstop in fourth place. Coach Steve and Allie finish as number two and Carol and Brandy make it in the number three spot. Brandy astutely states, "Imagine what we could do if we didn't bicker." Exactly, ladies. Exactly.
Jeff and Jordan are the first and only ones so far to complete the Horse Sense option, as Dan and Jordan have switched tasks to Horse Power.
Joe and Heidi hit the mat in fourth place and Jeff and Jordan are number five shortly after them.
Back at the Detour, all the remaining teams are attempting Horse Power with varying degrees of success. Dan and Jordan finish on their third attempt, while Brent and Caite ace their first shot at the Detour. For being in the emergency room just a half a day earlier, they are having a strong showing this leg.
Sadly for Monique and Shawne, Michael and Louie complete it after two attempts, which means they are holding out for this being a non-elimination round. With the drama deflated from the conclusion of this leg, Dan and Jordan, Brent and Caite and Michael and Louie finish as numbers six, seven and eight.
Similar to our first eliminated team – I think their names were Adrian and Dana – Monique and Shawne do not give up change to Horse Sense. They finish the Detour even though they had to be 95% sure that they didn't have too because the reality was they were going to eliminated, which they were.
So, this season is flying by for me. I do have to retract a previous bold prediction that Team Big Brother Jeff and Jordan might be this season's dominators a la last season's Meghan and Cheyne. After two middle of the pack finishes in a row, they might not be duplicating that success but they are loads more entertaining and actually make me disappointed that I don't watch Big Brother.
So, for Carol and Brandy, I will channel Jerry Springer and leave you with "Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other."