A-List
Five People In Search of a Talk Show
BoxOfficeProphets.com

FYI: standing in a barbershop and talking does not make you a talk show host.

Most weeks, the A-List deals strictly in movies. But, as much as I'd like to regale you this week about my top ten movies of 2009 (yes, friends, that does mean another two-part list in the very near future), topicality wins out. As you may know if you have not been living under a rock for the past week, there is a major, compelling, twisty drama occurring on your television set: the behind-the-scenes drama at NBC regarding its late-night propositions. Jay Leno, originally of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and currently of The Jay Leno Show, is apparently heading back to the late-night timeslot, as his primetime comedy show has been...shall we say, not doing very well in the ratings. However, Conan O'Brien, current host of The Tonight Show, doesn't want to be pushed back from his spot.

So, for all I know, by the time you're reading this article, Conan has left NBC and is taking calls from the FOX network. Jay may already have The Tonight Show back, or, who knows? Carson Daly could have the Tonight Show slot. The point is, if things continue to play out as unexpectedly as they have in the past week, there will likely be one late-night slot on NBC that is in need of being filled. In past years, there have been other late-night shows that failed, hosted by people as wide and varied as Pat Sajak, Spike Feresten, Chevy Chase, and Alan Thicke. Yes, Alan Thicke, of Growing Pains, had a talk show. Obviously, the standards have been tightly focused to, at the very least, make sure either comedians or people with a funny background get their own shows.

The question that this A-List is posing and answering at the same time is: which people should have their own talk show? More than that, who should take over whatever slot is left over from the craziness currently at NBC? Again, it seems pretty obvious that NBC wants to keep Jay Leno at whatever cost is necessary, but if O'Brien leaves soon, someone aside from Leno and Jimmy Fallon may need to fill that time. Sure, there's the possibility that NBC will stick with having Leno at his old 11:35 p.m. timeslot for an hour, and follow up with Fallon, but these days, guessing what NBC executives are thinking is the stupidest thing a person could do. Let's plant some thoughts into their addled brains, then, with this A-List.

Zach Galifianakis

Anyone who's seen The Hangover knows that Zach Galifianakis, as the strange future brother-in-law Alan, is a funny and shameless guy. Anyone who's seen Galifianakis' stand-up knows that he's a great, if incredibly and cheerfully quirky, comic. But anyone who's seen Galifianakis' Web talk-show series, Between Two Ferns, knows that this man could be the most warped and twisted talk-show host ever. Now, I harbor no delusions that anything remotely like Between Two Ferns could ever end up on network television, what with its format (a three-minute encounter with a celebrity such as Jon Hamm, Jimmy Kimmel, or Charlize Theron that's meant to be a cable-access-style interview, replete with cheap production design and an ornery host) or Galifianakis' willfully inaccessible style. However, here's a guy who could make the talk-show format fresher and more exciting than anyone else has since Conan first started at NBC.

Imagine Galifianakis talking to Paris Hilton, or Taylor Swift, or whoever is the starlet of the month. Imagine him facing down these celebs with the same level of snark, faux-bewilderment, and befuddlement he brings to his work, especially Between Two Ferns. Another big reason why Galifianakis wouldn't fly in the real world of late-night talk shows is because mainstream America would probably not understand why he wasn't being as goofy as he was in The Hangover, or just get tired of his weird humor after one or two shows. I grant you, Galifianakis is the biggest case of wishful thinking here, but he's still relatively big in Hollywood, so maybe he could wrangle a spot on Comedy Central next to Demetri Martin, whose brand of off-kilter comedy has garnered him plenty of fans. Still, if NBC or any other major network wanted to shake up the status quo before realizing how crazy an idea it would be, Galifianakis is a great pick.

Rainn Wilson

It's important to note here that I've said that a future late-night talk-show host should have a background in comedy, even if that person's not a stand-up comedian. Like Zach Galifianakis, Rainn Wilson is most well-known for his supporting role in a popular comedy; unlike the rotund comic, Wilson works on television, as the officious and strange Dwight Schrute on NBC's The Office. Wilson has become more popular since being on The Office, from his lead role in the unpopular The Rocker, a supporting turn in Juno, and various talk-show appearances. His criteria may not be incredibly solid, but Jimmy Fallon became a talk-show host thanks to his time on Saturday Night Live. Wilson is quirky, but not nearly as much as Galifianakis. Moreover, for NBC, the choice is perfect, because Wilson's connection to NBC is obvious. He's been witty on his various appearances, and could very well be as comfortable as O'Brien and Fallon were in their first months on the talk-show circuit.

That is, to say, not at all. But NBC could, in my fantasy world, give Wilson enough time to get his bearings. To assume that any talk-show host could automatically become a smooth customer in terms of interviewing various people, schmoozing with the audience, and rattling off various one-liners in an opening monologue is foolish. For anyone on their first try, it takes time. What Wilson has, even on The Office, is plenty of confidence. Confidence, as you've heard, is key. Wilson always oozes confidence on television, and is fine with the format. He may turn people off at first, just because he was once Dwight Schrute, but Rainn Wilson is a far more mainstream and palatable choice for NBC to push down audiences' collective and metaphorical throats.

Cedric The Entertainer

In the spirit of recent TBS late-night show Lopez Tonight, hosted by George Lopez, wouldn't Cedric The Entertainer, one of the Original Kings of Comedy, be a great talk-show host? We've seen plenty of stand-ups do solid work on TV and in film; Steve Harvey had his own show, as did Bernie Mac. Why doesn't Cedric? He's funny, he's charming, and most importantly, he's affable. Affability is very important on television, apparently. Why else has Jay Leno survived so long on NBC? People have watched Leno for a long time, and they know exactly what they're getting. I wouldn't accuse Cedric The Entertainer of having the same problem as Leno (which is, for the curious ones among you, not being funny), but he has the same laid-back confidence on a stage. Being a stand-up helps when doing a talk show, especially during the monologue, which is the most comfortable someone like Cedric would be on a show.

During the interview segments, he'd probably do well enough, and grow as time went on. What's important is that Cedric could attract a wide audience, and get new viewers as well. I can't say one way or another if those people on Team Conan or Team Jay (yes, there are teams, as it goes in the 21st century, I guess) would be for or against Cedric, but his style of comedy could do well in taped sketches, certainly more so than doing a segment wherein everyday people reveal (or, depending on how cynical you may be about the segment's veracity, "reveal") how stupid they are. Is Cedric something of a safe choice? Absolutely. Sometimes, though, a network needs to make a safe choice, not a risky one. Moreover, since NBC has been making plenty of risky choices in the last year, someone like Cedric The Entertainer may represent the perfect choice: someone different, someone not directly connected to the debacle, and a known quantity. If the man doesn't get his own show in the next few years, I will be surprised.

Richard Lewis

Okay, this one's a huge stretch. Lewis is a stand-up comic from a completely different generation, with his rapid-fire, rambling style more akin to someone like Lewis Black, just without all of the political rantings. Lewis is nowadays a bit of a staple on talk shows, frequently proving that he'd do very well with more than one segment as a guest. On Conan's programs, he'll go on, dressed in his typical black, say hello, and begin on his own topic, completely oblivious to whatever the host may want to discuss, or even whatever he's there to plug. Considering that talk shows, like any other TV genre, have a set format, and the hosts are used to sticking to that format above all costs (even someone as fun as Conan), having someone who would upend that format on its head, in the same way as Galifianakis could, would be brilliant.

Lewis is probably best-known for being Larry David's best friend on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, or for his supporting turn in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Though he's been a stand-up for decades, he's not as familiar to most audiences, especially the 18-49 demographic. I hate to denigrate, but in some ways, the allure for younger audiences could be like watching someone's slightly batty uncle raving from his easy chair for an hour every night. That's not to say that Lewis wouldn't have guests, or an orchestra, or the whole nine yards that comes with a typical talk show. The point is that Lewis would have all of those elements, simply to ignore them and do what he wants. Even better, NBC could probably save money on a writing staff, as Lewis would just be set off by whatever's on his mind when he comes out onstage every night. Richard Lewis for late night! Who's with me?

Chelsea Handler

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that Chelsea Handler already has a late-night talk show. You are right, reader. Handler is the host of Chelsea Lately, on the E! Television Network. However, as speculation never ceases about what's going on in the current talk-show wars, there's always a lot of curiosity about which cable personalities will end up on the networks. Years back, there was speculation that the host of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, would end up replacing David Letterman. What about Stewart now? He'd be a great host (and, at the very least, I'd follow him to whatever network he chose), but I see Handler as being more appropriate to the talk show format. Stewart has guests every night, but he also works four nights a week, most weeks, and talks about politics. Handler's show is placed squarely in the middle of the era when talk shows were about boozing up, making lewd jokes, and laughing with your friends. In some ways, that this era is finished is a good thing. However, Handler makes the whole camaraderie a lot of fun, from her miniature sidekick to her roundtable of catty comedians.

Handler would be a major change for the networks for another obvious reason: she's a woman, and would be the only woman doing a weekday late-night talk-show. Wanda Sykes, of course, recently became the host of her own show on the FOX network, but that airs only on Saturday nights, not five nights a week. Why not put Handler in such a position? She, like most of the people on this list, would be a radical change; her style is more abrasive than Leno or O'Brien, and she's not at all concerned with offending anyone. Though previous talk-show hosts have had sidekicks, none are like Chuy, the pint-sized Hispanic man who hangs out to laugh at Chelsea's jokes. Handler would not be an easy sell, but if she was given enough time to grow an established audience, the network executives might find that she was not only getting fans, but getting dedicated fans. Chelsea Handler may not be the standard choice, but she's probably angling for more face time with America, and would love the spot.