This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for Dec. 25th, 2009
By Curt David
December 23, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of December 25th, we get the final wide releases of 2009. The movies opening in wide release are Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, It's Complicated, and Sherlock Holmes. Also, Nine and Up in the Air are expanding significantly.
Next week, there are no major wide releases. Tune in for This Weekend, Watch This: Year in Review.
| Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel | It's Complicated | Sherlock Holmes | Nine | Up in the Air | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| CLEAREST TITLE | The world famous Chimpmunk Trio returns (along with the female group The Chipettes) | Jane, although attracted to Adam, hooks up with her ex-husband, who is married to a younger woman | Detective Sherlock Holmes, and Watson, engage in a battle of wits and brawn with a worthy nemesis. | Based on the Broadway musical, Nine tells the story of a film director and his relationships with women. | Ryan's life, traveling around the country firing people, is about to be turned upside down. | Nine? Why is it called Nine? Up in the Air and It's Complicated are clever titles...but the point is split between the famous Alvin and Sherlock. |
| BEST GENRE & RATING | Family/Comedy
Rated PG for mild rude humor | Romantic Comedy
Rated R for some drug content and sexuality | Action/Mystery
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, and a scene of suggestive material | Musical
Rated PG-13 for sexual content and smoking | Dramedy
Rated R for language and some sexual content | Every movie has sexuality (The Chipettes!), but only one has intense action. Sherlock Holmes wins this round. |
| BEST TAGLINE | The SQUEAKquel
Ha. Chipmunks squeak. 3/5 stars for cleverness. | Divorced... with benefits
Haha. It changed the word friendship to divorced 4/5 stars. | Holmes for the Holiday
HAHA. it's a play on words and the Christmas release date! 5/5 stars. | This holiday season be Italian
Hm. Describes the setting. 2/5 stars. | The story of a man ready to make a connection
Haha. It's about relationships and airplanes! 4/5 stars. | There's no place like Holmes! Holmes is where the heart is! This movie is a Holmes-run! Point! |
| BEST PART OF TRAILER | Theodore seems cute. | Steve Martin seems funny. | Sherlock Holmes seems like an action hero! | Nine seems like a musical. | This movie seems good. | No really. Up in the Air seems really good. It wins this round. |
| COOLEST LEAD ACTOR | Jason Lee, from My Name Is Earl, was a professional skateboarder. | Meryl Streep, from the Oscars, has a Sesame Street character named after her (Meryl Sheep). | Robert Downey Jr., from Iron Man, was once a regular cast member of Saturday Night Live. | Daniel Day Lewis, from There Will Be Blood, was the first non-American Actor to win Two Best Actor Oscars. | George Clooney, from ER and the Ocean's Trilogy, owned a pet pig named Max for 18 years. | George Clooney and Meryl Streep are two of the coolest actors in Hollywood (with farm animal connections). They split the point! |
| BEST CAST MEMBER | The Chipettes! (voiced by Amy Poehler, Anna Faris, and Christina Applegate) | Meryl's love interests! (played by Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin) | Watson! (played by Jude Law) | Famous Women! (Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren, and Fergie) | Lesser known Women! (Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick) | Despite being a musical, even guys have to compliment the casting choices of Nine. Point! |
| BEST STREET CRED FOR THE PRODUCTION | Director Betty Thomas has also directed 28 Days, Dr. Dolittle, and The Brady Bunch Movie. | Director Nancy Myers has also directed The Parent Trap, What Women Want, and Something's Gotta Give. | Director Guy Ritchie has also directed RocknRolla and was married to Madonna. | Director Rob Marshall has also directed Chicago. | Director Jason Reitman has also directed Juno and Thank You for Smoking. | I may be biased, but Rob Marshall directed Catherine Zeta-Jones to an Oscar in Chicago. Retroactive point for him. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Sherlock Holmes scores 2 1/2 points, Nine scores 2 points, Up in the Air scores 1.5 points, and Alvin and the Chipmunks and It's Complicated score 1/2 point each.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like mild rude humor, then go ahead and watch Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Sherlock Holmes is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Nine is based on Federico Fellini's movie 8 1/2. That movie was titled 8 1/2, because it was the director's 8 1/2 film (six full length films, and three films that were considered halves). The name changed to Nine for the musical, because the musical element counted as another 1/2.
Conclusion 3: Hahaha. Holmes for the Holiday. Haha.