TiVoPlex
By John Seal
November 16, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 11/17/09
3:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Her Private Affair (1929 USA): A typically immobile early talkie, Her Private Affair is still worth a look if you're an admirer of actress Ann Harding. Harding plays Vera Kessler, wife of a Viennese jurisprudent (Harry Bannister). Their relationship isn't an entirely happy one, and during a period of estrangement Vera writes some letters to cad Arnold Hartmann (Lawford Davidson) that she later comes to regret. One thing leads to another, Hartmann turns up dead, and butler Grimm (Elmer Ballard) ends up taking the rap. Will Vera come clean and admit to the crime - or will she allow her faithful man-servant to do the time? The only directorial credit for actor Rollo Lloyd, Her Private Affair also features an early appearance by character actor Frank Reicher and one of the first American film performances of John Loder.
2:45 PM IFC
Sweeney Todd (2005 GB): I'm not the biggest fan of Tim Burton's recent Sweeney Todd adaptation, mostly because the vast majority of post-1935 musicals just don't do it for me. It pleases me mightily, therefore, to report the American television premiere of this all-non singing, all-non dancing version of the classic tale, produced for the BBC a mere two years prior to Burton's effort. This time it's Ray Winstone who portrays the murderous barber who works a second job as a purveyor of fine meat products, and as you might expect, he's superb. Though the story is presumably apocryphal, Jonathan St. Johnston's screenplay suggests society was as much to blame for the Demon Barber of Fleet Street's transgressions as Todd's greed or lust for pox-stricken pie-maker Mrs. Lovett (Essie Davis). As long as you're not put off by the absence of a singing Johnny Depp, you'll be pleasantly satiated by Sweeney Todd.
Wednesday 11/18/09
1:05 AM Encore Mystery
Cemetery Man (1991 ITA): For a few years, this zombie gut-muncher got quite a bit of exposure over American airwaves. It's been a while since it last showed up, though, so I'm happy to report its return this morning. A throwback to the classic age of the Italian zombie movie, Cemetery Man stars Rupert Everett as Francesco Dellamorte, a gravedigger who really enjoys his job - he'd rather exhume than quit! Francesco maintains a small town cemetery, but the corpses left in his care are restless and keep insisting on coming up for air. When they do, our hero shoots them in the head and has mute assistant Gnaghi (Francois Hadji Lazaro) rebury them, but the trend gets out of hand after Francesco has, ahem, relations with a widow (Anna Falchi) atop her husband's grave. Not a good idea. Directed by Dario Argento collaborator Michele Soavi, whose La Setta remains an unheralded horror classic, Cemetery Man doesn't quite ascend to that level, but remains an enjoyably off-kilter exercise in sex and death in a low society.
5:00 PM HDNET Movies
Red Cliff (2008 HK): This John Woo epic should look great in HD, even should it prove to be the severely abridged version released in non-Asian territories. Set during the ‘Three Kingdoms' period of Chinese history (somewhere between 220 and 280 AD), Red Cliff features Tony Leung as Zhao Lu, a refined and well-educated military strategist defending the domain of warlord Sun Quan (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon's Chen Chang) from the forces of Cao Cao (Fengyi Zhang) and company. Students of Chinese history will find much to admire here, but for the rest of us, attention will be focused on the massive, non-CGI battle sequences - in which Woo choreographed up to 100,000 extras - that occasionally interrupt the pontificating and court machinations. Red Cliff is a film of stunning beauty, but will definitely play best for those who spent many idle hours playing Romance of the Three Kingdoms on their PC.
Thursday 11/19/09
7:00 PM Sundance
Room of Death (2007 FRA): Or La Chambre des Morts in the original, and much more poetic, French. The freshman effort of writer-director Alfred Lot, Room of Death is an above average thriller about two inebriated idiots (Gilles Lellouche and Jonathan Zaccai) who mistakenly kill a pedestrian whilst playing silly beggars in their BMW. After discovering their victim was carrying a large amount of cash, the pair purloin the coin before dumping his body in the nearest river and swearing each other to secrecy. Little do they know, however, that an unhinged kidnapper in a nearby building has witnessed their crime...and they've taken his hard-earned ransom money! Room of Death has been called ‘Europe's Silence of the Lambs', which is a rather lazy comparison, but is worth a look for anyone who enjoys a good Gallic thriller.
9:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Rockingham Tea Set (1950 USA): Is this the new frontier for TCM? I'd like to think so, but only time will tell. Tonight, the greatest television channel in the world airs two rare episodes of a long forgotten and long unseen television series, Studio One. Both episodes feature Grace Kelly, the first being the tale of a nurse (Kelly) haunted by a ghost, the second (1952's The Kill, at 10:00 PM) relating a tragedy at a rural aquifer. Both episodes were directed by Franklin Schaffner (Patton) and also feature performances from such familiar faces as Dick Foran, Nina Foch, and Louise Allbritton. More, please!
Friday 11/20/09
5:30 AM IFC
L'argent (1983 FRA): I can't remember the last time ANY film directed by Robert Bresson appeared on US television, so we'll overlook the fact that this isn't his best (though it's by no means bad, either). Based on a Tolstoy short story, L'argent is the episodic tale of a forged 500-franc note, which passes through half a dozen pairs of hands before resulting in tragedy for innocent fuel delivery man Yvon (Christian Patey). Money, as it turns out, really IS the root of all evil - even when it's not REAL money. The final film completed by the crotchety Catholic ethicist, L'argent earned Bresson Best Director honors at Cannes 1983. Also airs at 10:05 AM.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
One Potato, Two Potato (1964 USA): I somehow managed to overlook this excellent drama when it appeared on TCM several months ago, so I'm really pleased to see it airing again this afternoon. Extremely daring in 1964, and still pretty bold today, One Potato Two Potato is the story of husband and wife Frank and Julie (Bernie Hamilton and Barbara Barrie) and their struggles to keep their marriage intact and maintain custody of a child from Julie's earlier marriage to crumb bum Joe (Richard Mulligan). Oh, Frank's black and Julie's white, by the way, and interracial marriage was still illegal in certain parts of the country in the early ‘60s. Independently produced in Ohio and directed by Larry Peerce (The Incident), this is a remarkable and brave film that has lost little of its power over the years. And I bet you didn't know it was nominated for a Best Original Screenplay Academy Award...'cause I sure didn't.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy (1966 MEX): If you grew up watching the late, late show in the 1970s, chances are you've had repeated exposure to films such as Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy. American huckster K. Gordon Murray discovered there was quite a bit of cash to be made by importing dubbed Mexican horror films to the United States, and after he syndicated his package to television, youngsters of my generation soon learned to tell their German Robles from their Abel Salazars. Whilst a number of these Mexi-horrors were actually quite decent films in their own right...Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy ain't one of ‘em. One of half a dozen mummy movies directed by Rafael Portillo, the film stars Ramon Gay as a mad scientist who constructs an automaton to break into an ancient tomb guarded by the Aztec Mummy in order to steal the treasure within. Minor mayhem ensues. The robot is beyond pathetic - it's basically a guy in a tin can - but for some of us, this will be an irresistible trip down Camino Memoria.
Saturday 11/21/09
12:30 PM IFC
Hero (2002 CHI): Hero raked in a remarkable $53,000,000 in US cinemas when it finally got a Stateside release in 2004, an impressive feat for any foreign-language feature, especially one helmed by Zhang Yimou, a serious director whose gorgeous but leisurely-paced dramas (Raise the Red Lantern, The Road Home) are usually more at home in urban art-houses than middle American multiplexes. Cleverly (if somewhat inaccurately) marketed by Miramax as a martial arts epic in the style of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero's take was bolstered by the presence of Jet Li, a marginal but still credible box office draw in the United States. Li plays a rascal who comes to the court of the King of Qin, eager to receive a reward for killing off three assassins (Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, and Donnie Yen) intent on shortening the king's life, and by extension his reign. As with all Zhang films, Hero exhibits stunning production design and was artfully shot by the great Chris Doyle, but may prove to be a bit of a letdown for those anticipating non-stop chop-socky action. Also co-starring the beautiful Zhang Ziyi, this is one of those rare instances of cinema kismet where marketing, art, and sheer luck amply reward the efforts of the filmmakers.
6:00 PM Starz
Doubt (2008 USA): Undeservedly snubbed at last year's Academy Awards, Doubt was clearly too small and too stagey to garner more than the handful of nominations (and no statues) it ultimately earned. That's a shame, because it's a magnificently acted and thought-provoking picture, adapted for the screen and directed by playwright John Patrick Shanley. The ever terrific Philip Seymour Hoffman plays Father Flynn, the kindly - perhaps too kindly? - headmaster of a Catholic boy's school in 1960s New York. His bête noire is the eternally suspicious head-teacher, Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep), who suspects Flynn is getting a little too close to some of her pupils. Is Flynn a pedophile - or is Sister a prying busy-body? You'll have to decide for yourself, because Doubt leaves itself wide open to interpretation. Watch it with someone you love, and then have a fruitful post-movie discussion. Also airs at 9:00 PM.
Sunday 11/22/09
8:40 PM Starz in Black
Hatchet (2006 USA): Though it's no better than most modern-day grue-fests, Hatchet offers one advantage most of those films don't: location photography in post-Katrina New Orleans and rural Louisiana. Of course, we don't get to see the parts destroyed in the hurricane - we'll have to wait for a more socially conscious film before that happens - but we do get to see Mardi Gras revellers come to unfortunate and bloody ends in the swamps and bayous of the Deep South. Add in cameos from Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, and John Carl Buechler, and you have a passable and surprisingly well-acted time waster.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Black Orpheus (1959 BRA): I must admit to being a bit of an agnostic when it comes to this Brazilian reimagining of the legend of Orpheus. I've always preferred the Cocteau version, but perhaps that's just the dead old white man in me asserting itself...regardless, Black Orpheus was a huge hit on its initial release and was awarded the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar in 1960. Apparently it's less well-regarded at home, where the film's tale of non-stop Carnival partying was and is considered wildly inaccurate. I guess if you blended elements of City of God and Pixote into Black Orpheus, you'd have a pretty accurate depiction of life in Rio de Janeiro. Or maybe not.