Amazing Race 15: Episode 5
By Daron Aldridge
October 27, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Last week we said goodbye to angry Lance and Keri. Will a Race without Street Lawyer and his bride-to-be remain entertaining? Based upon previews, there will be plenty of drama.
Per usual, we pick up where we left off. For this leg, that place would be Dubai. Thanks to every team reminding us of the sweltering heat, this episode I learned that the Dubai tourism board might as well buy the rights to Buster Poindexter's "Hot Hot Hot." For all the hot talk, I am a bit surprised they no one chimed in with "It's hot. Damn hot. So damn hot, I saw a little man in an orange robe burst into flames." Obviously, there are no Good Morning, Vietnam fans amongst the teams.
As the team to claim the Fast Forward last episode, Meghan and Cheyne are the first to leave at 8:17 a.m. and have about an hour and 45 minute lead over team two. If a flight or public transportation doesn't factor into this leg's challenges, then they could be sitting pretty.
Teams are instructed to grab one of the locked briefcases and head to the Dubai Creek Golf and Yacht Club for their next clue. As they load up their cab, Meghan admits that this is the most stressed she has ever been in her life. This prompts Cheyne to retort, "And that is saying a lot because Meghan gets pretty stressed out in day-to-day life." For two people that have clearly different approaches to the race and life, there have been minimal fireworks between them. I guess that's what happens when you keep winning.
They get to the clue and it's a Roadblock that playfully asks who's ready to row, row, row your boat. The person has to row an inflatable raft to a yacht. The men on the boat will give them a Rolex and they have to figure out that the fixed time on the watch (8:35) is the three digit combo to unlock the briefcase.
Cheyne jumps in his raft and starts a-paddling. He does make quick work of the rowing and solves the briefcase combo problem. Away they go to the next clue box.
Back to the departures, it is 9:59 a.m. and Brian and Ericka are leaving. They comment that they have "tasted the front of the pack" (rather unfortunate choice of words I might add) and they want to stay up there. If they perform like they did in the last leg, then I believe they could easily make it to the end.
About 45 minutes later, Flight Time and Big Easy leave and the producers break us off some Harlem Globetrotters theme music. Even if these guys don't win, their team's owners have to be happy because they are probably getting paid nicely at least once a week when they play this music.
Brian and Ericka arrive at the Roadblock and Brian is the rower for his team because as he puts it, "This one [pointing to Ericka] doesn't do water." He shouldn't be putting row master on his resume, either, as he is struggling pretty early on with the oars. While not as adept as Cheyne was, he completes the Roadblock and they aren't too far behind Cheyne and Meghan as far as the viewer can tell.
Father and son Gary and Matt head out of the pit stop and Matt has rejuvenated his hair with a fresh batch of pink dye. This is not the father-son bonding that the Gary envisioned back as a new dad in Montana 20 plus years ago.
Sam and Dan leave and admit that the advantage to still working with Tiffany and Maria is that if it comes down to just them, then "we can definitely outrun them." No arguments here.
Team number three, Flight and Easy, have the misfortune of their cabbie taking them to the wrong yacht club. I guess they are more accurately "former team number three" because Matt and Gary are now at the Roadblock. Gary is the chosen one but confesses, "I'm a canoer, not a rowboater." So he opts for the lay-down-on-your-belly-and-paddle-with-one-oar technique. Hey, in this race, whatever works is fine by me, regardless of how ridiculous you look.
Cheyne and Meghan get to the Detour. For this leg, it's Gold or Glass. Here's the breakdown: For Gold, they weigh out exactly $500,000 worth of gold but must figure out that they have to use against the ever changing exchange rate to get the right number of ounces to weigh. For Glass, they go to a market and empty a crate full of all the pieces necessary to build 12 hookahs based upon the ones displayed in the market.
My instinct would have led me to Glass as the simpler one but I would be proven wrong shortly. Meghan and Cheyne have the same rationale, so they choose Glass.
Gary retrieves the watch and cracks the code. He and Matt make their way to the Detour. With all this action, it's hard to believe but there are still two teams who haven't even left the pit stop...until now. The Poker Girls leave at 11:47 a.m. and Mika and Canaan are the last team to leave, only seven minutes behind them.
The Globetrotters make it to the Roadblock and Big Easy crams himself into the raft but can't use the paddles either. "I couldn't figure out the paddles. I'm from the projects in New Orleans. We got the Mississippi River but it's dirty and you don't want to go in there." He might as well have thrown the paddles overboard because he opts to use his arms as the paddles and basically does the backstroke to the yacht.
Cut to Meghan and Cheyne slowly working through the Glass Detour. Frustration with the challenge is mounting for Meghan and Cheyne implores her to relax so they can finish the task. Brian and Ericka get the Detour clue and go with Gold.
The brothers make it to the yacht club and Dan is doing the Roadblock. Dan also adopts Big Easy's swim method of boat propulsion. Not only does he copy Easy, Sam copies Flight Time's cheerleading to Big Easy. Flight Time chants "Do it for the ‘Hood!" and Sam offers his version for Dan, "Do it for the suburbs!" Great, now I have to figure out to assign the point since there are two teams who contributed. I'll follow BOP's This Weekend, Watch This, by Curt David, and give each team a half point. That puts the Globetrotters in the lead for the episode title game.
While Big Easy and Dan are still in the water, the girls show up and unsurprisingly Tiffany does it because it's physical. Has Maria done any of the Roadblocks? The producers have obviously removed the one-time rule that each team member has to do a set number of Roadblocks. That's a shame because it'd be fun to see Maria fail miserably at a challenge instead of just have Tiffany carry her through.
Back on shore, Dan gets the combo quickly but Big Easy is putting in the wrong combo 8, 7 and an unknown third digit. As he struggles, Tiffany finishes and gets the combo. Big Easy is convinced that the 8 and 7 are correct. Interspersed with his genuine words of encouragement, Flight Time jokingly observes, "If we stay here long enough, Lance and Keri might show up." Brilliantly played, Flight Time. If I had been taking a drink, I would have definitely snarfed. (For the uninitiated, that's the completely made-up verb for laughing at the right time, which makes liquid come out your nose. You're welcome for that visual.)
That sizable lead that Meghan and Cheyne had at the beginning is dwindling away with each failed hookah inspection. They fail to notice the importance of the three or four extra pieces lying on the ground. But they needn't worry about Ericka and Brian, who are at the Gold task and using paper for long division to get the correct ounces needed. About the time Brian finishes his calculation the exchange rate changes and it's back to the math. Ericka laments, "My American education's dumbed me down to use a calculator for everything."
Canaan and Mika get to the Roadblock and Canaan easily gets the watch. He figures out the combo like everyone else, except Big Easy, and then Mika asks, "Does the Muslim clock work differently???" Seriously, this is too easy to make fun of now. Ericka, I contend you're a much greater success story from the American education system than Mika. Every week, she strives to prove blonde jokes were historical statements.
Mika and Canaan are now ahead of the Globetrotters, who are the last ones stuck at the Roadblock. Finally, Big Easy steps back and starts over. That's all he needs to realize that it's the time not the actual number.
After not being about to figure out the ounces and a few failed attempts, Brian convinces Ericka that it's time to move to Glass. Meanwhile Gary and Matt choose Glass and papa Gary comments that they used to call it something else and not a hookah. That's the wrong kind of tobacco there, Cheech.
Meghan and Cheyne finally figure out the extra parts must be used and get the next clue. They are off to Leap of Faith, a giant water slide at nearly a 90 degree angle that goes under a shark tank. But we knew that was coming because of the mental breakdown by Mika that was teased last week.
Brian and Ericka show up at Glass as Meghan and Cheyne are leaving. Sam and Dan pick Gold, as do their partners in crime, Tiffany and Maria.
Brian and Ericka rip through building the hookahs but thanks to Ericka's comment about the hoses, "I don't think that the color matters," they don't get their next clue. Between Meghan and Cheyne and now these guys, I would have made a huge mistake selecting Glass.
The world's most worthwhile impulse is up next. Sam and Dan comment that before leaving on the race that saw a calculator at Wal-Mart for $2. Yes, they name-checked the retailer and we have had product/company shoutouts that run the full spectrum from Rolex to Wal-Mart. Well played, CBS. This is ideal for the Gold task. So, Wal-Mart basically got paid $2 (plus tax) for a mention on a prime-time show. That had to one of the clauses in the company's pact with the devil.
Alas, Sam and Dan are dumbfounded about the math equation. Luckily, the girls show up and use the calculator to get the ounces but have to tell them the number they need. Both teams finish quickly.
Mika and Canaan arrive at Glass and Mika basically sits back and lets Canaan do the work as usual. Flight Time and Big Easy also select the Glass route.
As they get to the Leap of Faith water slide, Cheyne and Meghan admit they are both afraid of heights but they power through it. In the wading pool at the base of the slide, they clue tells them to find the pit stop on the beach of the resort. For the second leg in a row, Meg and Cheyne are team number one.
Brian and Ericka are still trying to fix their hookahs but they are stuck with all the last teams. After yet another failed attempt and a well-timed commercial break, Brian sees that the striped hose must match the striped base. At the same time, Matt and Gary lose a pair of tongs and are faced with a proverbial ‘needle and the haystack.'
Flight Time and Big Easy note that Brian and Ericka were two hours ahead of them and if it took them that long to do the Glass task, then they should bail and head to the Gold task.
The girls and brothers finish Leap of Faith without issue and are teams number two and number three, respectively. Tiffany lovingly says that when Sam and Dan were running down the beach, "They definitely had a Baywatch moment. They were looking fine out there on that beach." Poor oblivious Tiffany and your lack of gaydar.
Flight and Easy show up at Gold and wisely recognize the need for a calculator. They simply ask one of the workers and voila...they have a calculator to use. If only Brian and Ericka had thought of that, they wouldn't have had hookah trouble.
Gary finally finds the missing tongs and they leave Mika and Canaan as the last team at Glass.
Brian and Ericka show up at Leap of Faith and acknowledge that he is afraid of heights and she is afraid of water. But for the sake of the race and because he knows his teammate well, Brian wisely waits for Ericka to go first because as he says, "If I went first, I don't know if she would have went." Both did it with a little coaxing and they are team number four.
Mika and Canaan finish the Glass and Mika is beginning to get worked up over the phrasing "Leap of Faith" on the clue. Canaan non-empathetically guesses they have to jump off something. This is not the way to help out your freaked out teammate, in case you were wondering. We then are treated to the earlier clips of Mika acknowledging both her fear of water and heights. Maybe Canaan needed to see that clip.
In order to break up the drama, we get to see Matt and Gary take on the slide to become team number five and Flight Time and Big Easy finish the Gold task.
It's time for the big payoff. At the top of the water slide, Mika is throwing a tantrum, which is fitting because she is wearing a pair of child's arm floaties and Canaan is yelling at her and on the verge of just pushing her down the slide. I understand being afraid and all, but so far, we have seen four other people overcome similar, self-confessed fears of water or heights at this specific task. As she fights off Canaan, Mika yells, "You can't make me. You can't make me!" and we get a commercial break.
Usually, they cut to commercial to build tension but when we come back, the tension is quickly resolved and we move forward. That isn't the case this time. We come back and it's still the same scene. Mika is finally sitting on the slide and after reassuring her with a "Mika, trust me," Canaan squats behind her and tries to undo her death grip on the safety rail but he backs away.
Flight Time and Big Easy are finally there and sprinting to the slide.
The couple continues to argue and Canaan is not exactly the model of supportiveness. At one point he calls her a moron for not doing it. I may have mocked Mika for ignorant statements (even in this recap) but I am not her teammate/boyfriend. C'mon, Canaan. Obviously this tactic isn't working.
The time for dillydallying is over. Flight and Easy arrive and we learn that the rules stipulate that when another team gets there, they have two minutes to do the task or step aside so the next team can go.
Knowing that there is a likely elimination at stake for the last team and a chance at a million dollars, as well as an emotionally unstable wild card in your way, what does Big Easy do? He pipes with such encouraging words as "It's high. It's a long way up here," "If you're scared, then don't do it, Mika," "Don't hurt yourself, baby," and "If you're scared, then c'mon back and we will walk back down with you."
Canaan finally tries the sweeter approach to offset the little devil of Big Easy sitting on Mika's shoulder. It's too little, too late, literally, as the two minutes expire and they have to let the Globetrotters go.
Flight Time, who was silent during the heckling but supported Big Easy's play, goes first and then as Easy is about to go, Canaan tells him that he thought was decent but "he is a piece of crap." In their interview, Easy sums up his decision to play that way, "I didn't like seeing her cry but it's a race. We are here for the race." They grab the clue and bolt for Phil. Big Easy and Flight Time are team six.
Mika is still not going and says that she wishes that she was in Nashville. Well, unless Phil pulls a non-elimination round out of his bag, you will be getting that wish very soon. Canaan finally sums up Mika's issue perfectly. "She's saying she can't do it but I know she can. Here you psych yourself out." The fact that she let her fear rule her is exactly what separates her from the other racers who actually faced their fears. Mika and Canaan shuffle dejectedly to the mat and Phil only has bad news for them as they are out of the race.
Let's step back a second. This dramatic conclusion is an interesting situation because I find myself conflicted about the way Big Easy played here. It seems like an unnecessary tactic because as a viewer, I was convinced there wasn't anything short of physically making her slide that would end with Mika doing the task. But from a game perspective, Easy and Flight didn't know where her head was at, so he just pulled out the big psychological guns and destroyed her. It makes me sad because Mika just missed an ideal opportunity to face two debilitating fears. But I tend to agree with Easy because this is the Amazing Race and not the Amazing Therapy Session.
The bigger quandary is that I think I should be more disgusted by the game play by Easy. If it had been Lance or Tiffany and Maria or Garrett that had pulled that trick, I would be throwing out exaggerated labels like ‘Satan,' ‘pure evil,' and ‘a-hole.' But the Globetrotters are my favorite team this season and I was not a fan of Mika and Canaan, so I become an apologist for their behavior. Besides, in their normal life, they are paid to humiliate the weaker team on the court (don't worry, Washington Generals, your day is coming...maybe). Does it bump them down in my mind? Maybe a little but I will likely be driving the Globetrotter bandwagon again next week.
Speaking of which, the previews hint at another breakdown but this time by Ericka. We can only hope that she delivers on the high drama like Mika did.