TiVoPlex
By John Seal
October 26, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 10/27/09
7:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Power (1968 USA): Give credit where it's due: producer George Pal cooked up a pretty decent plot for this science-fiction film, even if he couldn't get much in the way of a screenplay from scribe John Gay. George Hamilton stars as Jim Tanner, a scientist collaborating with half a dozen other boffins on experiments involving telekinesis. When their work reveals one of them possesses mental "super-powers", the scientists begin to drop like flies, and suspicion falls on Jim, who, after all, isn't dead yet. Unfortunately, the film tends to underplay its fantastic elements in favor of murder mystery tropes, but there's a pretty impressive cast to compensate, including Suzanne Pleshette, Nehemiah Persoff, Richard Carlson, Arthur O'Connell, and Earl Holliman (all as Hamilton's colleagues), Michael Rennie as the security bigwig guarding the proceedings, and Gary Merrill as a gumshoe called in to investigate the murders. If that's not enough star power for you, Yvonne de Carlo puts in an appearance as Mrs. Arthur O'Connell, and if you don't blink you'll also catch a glimpse of Aldo Ray! Best of all, The Power appears tonight in glorious widescreen Panavision.
7:30 PM Flix
Clean, Shaven (1993 USA): A strange little film that always reminds me of Martin Scorsese's completely unrelated The Big Shave, Clean, Shaven is a shot-in-New York indie about the struggles of a schizophrenic man to live something akin to a normal life. Peter Greene (Pulp Fiction) plays Peter, a young, homeless fellow trying to regain contact with his daughter but encountering all sorts of difficulties thanks to his complicated health and financial situations. Needless to say, both his family and the authorities take a dim view of his efforts, and Peter struggles to maintain his equilibrium. An impressive debut from writer-director Lodge Kerrigan, who's since picked and chosen his projects carefully and is clearly the furthest thing from a Hollywood career man, Clean, Shaven isn't an easy film to watch or enjoy: it's filled with ambiguity, random noise, and general discomfort. If you don't mind shifting uncomfortably in your chair tonight, though, you'll find the effort worthwhile.
Wednesday 10/28/09
3:05 AM IFC
Iron Monkey (1993 HK): This terrific martial arts epic makes its widescreen television debut this morning. Directed by Woo-ping Yuen, who later worked with Quentin Tarantino and the Wachowski Brothers, Iron Monkey stars Rongguang Yu as the title character, a homeopathist by day/masked superhero in his off hours who engages in battle against the corrupt leaders of a Chinese village. Governor Cheng (James Wong) hires Wong Kei-Ying (Donnie Yen) to neutralize the Iron Monkey—but the two ultimately unite in common purpose after the delightfully named evil monk Hin Hung (Sai-Kun Yam) appears on the scene. It's been described as "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon without the boring bits", which is a bit of an oversimplification, but considering Iron Monkey's spectacular wirework finale, not a million miles wide of the mark.
5:00 PM HBO2
The Windmill Movie (2008 USA): Here's something you don't see every day: a documentary about a filmmaker making a documentary about himself. To make matters even weirder, the filmmaker — Richard P. Rogers — died before completing his film, leaving a quarter century's worth of raw footage in the hands of his widow, who turned it over to another filmmaker to edit into a complete feature. So how's the film, you ask? Well, if you're in the mood for an exercise in child-of-privilege navel-gazing, pretty good. If that's more likely to annoy than enlighten you, though, let The Windmill Movie blow right past you. Also airs at 8:00 PM.
Thursday 10/29/09
4:05 PM IFC
Goth Cruise (2008 USA): Hey, if the guys and gals from National Review can hop an ocean liner to Alaska in order to scope out Sarah Palin, why shouldn't a bunch of chicken-dancing, panda-eyed goths sail off to the Caribbean for a week of glum fun in the sun? That's the unlikely but amusing subject of this doc, which is even more entertaining if you've actually spent time on a cruise ship — which I did for the first time in my life this past summer. Hey, if I can have fun on a cruise, anyone - even the bastard offspring of Bela Lugosi and Vampira — surely can.
10:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Looking Forward (1933 USA): Not, sadly, a big screen adaptation of Looking Backward, Edward Bellamy's socialist utopian novel of almost the same name, Looking Forward is actually a tale of compassionate capitalism brought to the big screen by right-wing director Clarence Brown. Lewis Stone portrays Gabriel Service Sr., the owner of a failing London department store caught in a bit of a liquidity trap. One of his competitor's is willing to buy his business from him, but Service balks when he learns the new owner is unwilling to keep his staff, including long-time bookkeeper Tim Benton (Lionel Barrymore), who's been tallying the pounds, shillings, and pence for nigh on 40 years. Will the cold, hard invisible hand of the marketplace be revealed for all to see — or will a miracle happen at the last minute to keep the store in family hands? If you can live with the fairy tale conclusion, you'll enjoy Looking Forward, shot in Hollywood but based on a play by Lancashire-born Dodie Smith.
11:00 PM Showtime 3
Crazylegs (1953 USA): I've got my doubts about this one — Republic second features are hardly the warp and woof of Showtime schedules — but just in case, I'll give it a quick mention. It's a biopic about American football star Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch, ably played here by, oh this is a bit odd, Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch. I bet you could save a lot of money producing biopics if you could always get the subject of the film to play themselves. It's very rare, not very good, and was directed by Francis D. Lyon, best remembered today for the awful 1966 horror film Castle of Evil, so unless you're a big pigskin fan you can probably give it a miss.
Friday 10/30/09
Midnight Turner Classic Movies
The Match King (1932 USA): Continuing this week's theme — really, really weird subject matter — here's a wacky drama about a janitor who becomes a millionaire. Selling matches. In Sweden. Warren William plays Paul Kroll, a Chicago facilities maintenance engineer who uses some ill-gotten gains to finance a trip to Scandinavia, where he gains control of his uncle's match factory and eventually creates a European match monopoly. But man cannot live on handheld incandescent devices alone, and Kroll falls in love with actress Marta Molnar (Lili Damita), a Good Woman who tries — unsuccessfully — to lead him to the path of righteousness. Co-starring Glenda Farrell and Claire Dodd, The Match King is a fascinating and—dare I say it? — enlightening morality play. Thank you, I'll be here all week. It's followed at 1:30 AM by I Promise to Pay (1937), in which Chester Morris makes a regrettable deal with the devil (in this case a loan shark) to take his family on vacation. Silly Chester, that's what credit cards are for!
3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Behind the Mask (1932 USA): Over 12 hours of obscure Boris Karloff features kick off this morning with Behind the Mask, an effective First National thriller featuring Dear Boris as a dope peddler. Newly released from prison, Henderson (Boris) goes to work on behalf of drug smuggler Mr. X (Edward van Sloan), whilst G-Man Hart (Jack Holt) tries to put the kibosh on their dirty dealings. Behind the Mask was marketed as a horror film to cash in on Karloff's recent Frankenstein-spawned stardom, but it's a crime drama all the way, albeit an atmospheric one. Amongst other offerings in today's Karloff-thon: at 7:00 AM, 1935's The Black Room, a gothic melodrama featuring Boris as twin brothers; at 9:30 AM, 1940's The Man They Could Not Hang, one of William Henry Pratt's many Columbia ‘mad doctor' second features; and at 1:15 PM by 1940's The Ape, a Monogram cheapie in which Karloff portrays a kindly doctor driven to take extreme measures in order to treat a case of polio.
4:15 PM IFC
Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003 USA): The drop-off from the first Jeepers Creepers is considerable, but fans of that spookfest will still want to check out this sequel. Set shortly after the events depicted in JC, JC II takes the well-worn path of depicting the episodic demise of a group of annoying teenagers, but manages to do so in fairly interesting fashion: after their bus breaks down on a remote stretch of highway, the members of a high school basketball team find themselves stalked by a winged demon with a taste for human souls. It's the setting that makes the film work: the bus serves as both haven and trap for the youngsters, and they're victimized not because of the usual moral failings (sex, drugs, rock and roll) but simply because they're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Previously seen on other channels in pan and scan, Jeepers Creepers 2 makes its widescreen television debut this afternoon on IFC.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Zaat (1975 USA): Also known as Attack of the Swamp Creatures and Blood Waters of Dr. Z, Zaat is one of the least likeliest movies ever to air on TCM. Currently ranked seventh worst film of all time by IMDb users (sitting four spots behind Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2), the film tells the sordid tale of scientist Kurt Leopold (Marshall Grauer, in his only film to date) who turns himself into a killer catfish (Wade Popwell, in HIS only film to date). This shot in Florida travesty IS terrible, but it's also terribly entertaining, and is essential viewing for fans of all things psychotronic. It's followed at 12:45 AM by a rare widescreen airing of Swamp Thing (1982), an amusing Wes Craven joint starring Adrienne Barbeau's cleavage.
Saturday 10/31/09
2:15 AM HDNet Movies
Black Christmas (1974 CAN): Bob Clark's proto-slasher classic returns to television this morning in full HD glory. Set during the most wonderful time of the year, the film relates the dreadful fate of a group of sorority sisters being harassed — and then killed — by a mysterious attic dweller. Remade to dreadful effect in 2006, the original Black Christmas is a satisfying and very creepy thriller with a great cast, including Keir Dullea, Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder, John Saxon, Andrea Martin, and Art Hindle.
7:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Murders in the Zoo (1933 USA): What would you do if you found out your wife had been cheating on you? If you're anything like Eric Gorman (Lionel Atwill), you'd kill the cuckolders — and anyone else who annoys you — with the wild animals you've just imported from the Far East. This outrageous Paramount thriller features what must have been much needed comic relief for 1933 audiences from Charles Ruggles, love interest from Gail Patrick and Randolph Scott, and a heaping helping of zoological mayhem.
Sunday 11/01/09
7:00 PM MGM HD
The Video Dead (1987 USA): Somewhere around the old homestead I still have a VHS copy of this film, taped — I think — from USA's Up All Night, or perhaps Commander USA's Groovy Movies. Whichever it was, that tape is going to be rendered obsolete thanks to this inaugural HD broadcast of this home video anti-classic. The bare bones story involves a television set that serves as a portal for the undead, who transit from the ether to the physical world whenever someone starts to nod off during commercials. There are elements here of Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm Street, and every zombie film made prior to The Video Dead, but this was also an influential film in its own right — assuming that Hideo Nakata rented it one night shortly before beginning production of 1998's The Ring.
Monday 11/02/09
9:30 AM Fox Movie Channel
Vicki (1953 USA): This remake of 1941's I Wake Up Screaming probably seemed surplus to requirements at the time, but in retrospect it doesn't look too bad. Told via flashbacks, the film examines the life and violent death of Vicki Lynn (Jean Peters), a "super-model" whose murder is being investigated by police detective Ed Cornell (Richard Boone). Ed learns that Vicki started out waiting tables, but achieved fame thanks to canny publicity man Steve Christopher (Mercury Theatre vet Elliott Reid) — and begins to suspect that Christopher may be implicated in her demise. If you've recently screened I Wake Up Screaming (or recently read Steve Fisher's excellent hardboiled source novel), you can probably give Vicki a miss — but if not, or if you're a Richard Boone fan, check it out.
6:00 PM Sundance
The Youngest Candidate (2008 USA): Never trust a political candidate under 20! Heck, don't trust any OVER 20 either, for that matter — but trust me about this engaging documentary about youngsters running for public office before they can legally drink. No congressional candidates here, of course — these kids are running for seats on the local school board or city council — but one can easily imagine them using these races as springboards for national political careers. Even if you think that voting only encourages them, you'll probably get some sick kicks from scoping out this salute to our future ruling class. Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!