Survivor: Samoa
Hungry for a Win
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
October 10, 2009

She thinks everything you do is stupid, but don't worry, she'll tell you about it.

Previously on Survivor, Evil Russell assured Ben that he would not be eliminated at Tribal Council. Moments later, Ben was eliminated at Tribal Council. This causes us to question Evil Russell's professed omnipotence. Evil Russell's big problem is that he cast his lot with Ben, who was an idiot...and vaguely racist to boot. He's one of those new-fangled white man's burden types, who is better about the fact that he wasn't born in the Mad Men era, where everyone who wasn't white knew their role and didn't have all these pesky ambitions about equality. He Man Woman Hater Evil Russell found Ben relatable, apparently.

This week, Evil Russell will be forced to prove that he was not emasculated by the tribe. We're looking forward to seeing how he handles rejection. Our guess: Not well.

Night eight at Foa Foa finds Evil Russell reasonably at peace with the tribe's decision (he voted along with them for Ben). In fact, the person most upset by recent events is Jaison, who is horrified by Ben's unwillingness to show remorse. He explains his frustration with the difference between what he perceived Survivor to be versus the reality of it. "I'm hungry and tired. I came here to have an adventure. But frankly, right now I believe that coming here was the worst decision I have made in my entire life." Evil Russell senses the fact that Jaison's heart isn't in the game anymore, and begins to question whether he wants to be attached to a player who isn't really motivated.

Over at Galu, Shambo is feeling the generation gap and thinks the grass is greener over at Foa Foa. She feels as though that tribe has a real Shambo appreciation (yes, she does refer to herself in the third person). Erik takes an opportunity to approach Shambo about the clue she received about the hidden Immunity Idol over at Foa Foa, and she tells him exactly what it said (why, we don't know). Basically, Erik has sussed out that if there's one at Foa Foa, there must be one at their camp as well. He'll take his first opportunity to seek it out.

Tree Mail arrives with instructions for the tribe leaders (Mick and Good Russell) to select two people to go on a quest with them. Mick chooses Evil Russell and Natalie, while Good Russell brings Shambo and Dave. When they arrive, a strange series of events unfolds. For perhaps the first time in the history of Survivor, there is no Probst sighting. The six opponents warily eye one another as they mentally calculate what Jeff's absence means. A quick review of the landscape reveals a trunk on one side and a crate of chickens on the other. Tension mounts until everyone decides that It's On, and they run to the two key locations. Shambo and Natalie grab the chickens before Dave's clue reveals that it won't be that simple. A variation of bocce ball/horseshoes will be played without Probst's oversight.

Each contestant will have three opportunities to toss a ball and try to get closest to the pin. It's a fairly one-sided game. All of the players take their turns before Dave gets one close, but Evil Russell gets one closer. Dave is down to Galu's last ball, and he knocks another of their team's balls nearest to the target. Galu once again walks away with reward, and poor Dr. Mick is left lamenting the extreme suckiness of his team.

In the next segment, Erik waits until his tribemates are either asleep or doing other things, then sets out to find the hidden immunity idol at his camp. While everyone else lazes indolently, he does in fact find the idol. Erik hides it in another location, knowing that no one will be looking for it in that spot.

Next up, we see Dave return triumphantly to camp with claims of being the super chicken provider. Though he recognizes that it's never a good idea to get cocky in the game, he does seem to think that he's the only one who's done anything worthwhile for Galu. Speaking of the chickens, Good Russell puts Shambo in charge of them, and it's only a matter of time before one of them gets loose. Everyone chases the chicken around, showing real surprise when it flies into a tree. "With God as my witness, I thought chickens couldn't fly!" would be the appropriate defense here. While pursuing the bird, Erik is completely knocked over when he runs into a branch that the tribe is using as a clothesline. As Dave says, "He was clotheslined. By our clothesline."

Before the immunity challenge, a brief segment is shown that demonstrates Yasmin's position within the tribe. Suffice it to say she is not sitting at the cool kids' table. Although she later claims it to be "strategy", Yasmin does absolutely nothing at camp. Even worse, she expects others to wait on her. When Kelly works with a coconut to get to the juice, Yasmin sits by as if expecting her to provide juice for her. Kelly drinks from the coconut, and Yasmin asks if there is any juice. Kelly tells her no, and then notes in a confessional to the camera that she's sick of Yasmin acting like a princess. Yasmin's behavior isn't just a detriment to her tribe, it's actually an impediment both to their success and survival and her own future in the game.

At last, it's a Probst sighting. Never do that again, Jeff. This challenge has the teams going through some netting/rope bridges and retrieving some blocks, which they must then stack high. The stack must stay standing for at least five seconds. Each tribe must complete two stages of this task, with the second stack getting significantly higher. Foa Foa has a nice advantage in Jaison's height, but Galu has some very strong performers in Yasmin and Erik. Ultimately, though, Monica is so slow across the rope bridge that she has depleted any lead her team once had. By the time they get to their stacking, both teams are neck and neck. Galu seems to break out to a lead, but Foa Foa is much more deliberate in the process of stacking. Kelly loses two blocks at the finally drops two blocks and Natalie's care in crafting the top of the stack pays off. Foa Foa finally wins an immunity challenge.

As for Galu's first ever Tribal Council, the vote basically comes down to Monica versus Yasmin. As we know, Monica was horrible in the immunity challenge and is effectively the reason her team is even going to Tribal Council, but Yasmin is a pain in the ass and does nothing outside of the challenges. Good Russell is concerned that the entire team will be picked off by the merge, so he sees Yasmin's challenge performances as an imperative. Everyone else is miserable enough about losing that they don't need further aggravation at camp. For a woman who spent a significant amount of time telling Foa Foa how to win at Survivor, Yasmin hasn't demonstrated any skill whatsoever at this game. When Crash Davis says in Bull Durham that the world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness, he means Yasmin.

Tribal Council begins with others questioning Yasmin's work ethic. She counters - we kid you not - with "Maybe I don't belong in the jungle because I have on heels. I wanted to dress up for you, Jeff."

Evil Russell burned the wrong pair of shoes.

Given the way this episode has been crafted, there is little doubt about who will be voted off. Monica's role this season is as yet undefined, but Yasmin has been featured a fair amount and come across...poorly. Our suspicions are validated when Yasmin is eliminated by a vote of 8-2. This is two straight weeks that we really won't miss the person eliminated. Here's hoping Evil Russell makes it three in a row. On a side note, Loser Island should be pretty fun with Yasmin and Ben there together.