Amazing Race 15: Episode 1, Part 1
They thought Godzilla was walking down the street
By Daron Aldridge
September 30, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
My preference for Amazing Race over other shows has to do with the fact that for the most part, it doesn't require the manipulation and deceit that is virtually a necessity to win Survivor. Because of that unique quality, The Amazing Race is the only such show that I would legitimately want to compete on. Until that day, I will just continue to live vicariously through the show and provide my own recap and color commentary of how the race is shaping up each week.
So, racers ready? Go.
The new season kicks off in Los Angeles and with all the iconic locales throughout L.A., like the Hollywood sign or the Staples Center, they chose the recognizable but not necessarily majestic Los Angeles River as the starting line. You know, the one where Schwarzenegger was chased by a diesel in T2. It's not at the top of my list of places to start, but I have no Emmys, so who am I to question?
It's time to introduce who we will be rooting for and against. This time around there are 12 teams (one all female team, four all male teams, and seven male/female couples). Here is who we'll be following this season - or at least some of them.
First, there is Miss America 2004 Ericka, who is African-American, and Brian, her Caucasian husband. I only bring up their race because they specifically said they wanted to break any misconceptions about interracial marriages. This type of declaration scares me a bit because it sounds an awful lot the normal refrain from dating/engaged couples on the show that are there to test their relationship. And that doesn't always end up with sunshine and puppy dogs.
Next up, it's the reincarnation of Jonathan and Victoria from Season 6 - engaged couple Lance and Keri. Just from the introduction, I think I can hear the train wreck coming and I don't dare avert my eyes. Lance declares that he is a trial attorney and refers to himself as a "Street Lawyer," who "thrives on adversity." Well...okay then. You can almost hear the gears turning in the heads of CBS suits with plans for "Street Lawyer" as a midseason replacement about a lawyer dispensing justice on the streets of Boston. Just throw an acronym into the title, like JD or ESQ, and Les Moonves would be happy. And thanks to this team's ridiculous fashion choice of tying bandanas around their biceps, I am inclined to dub them Team Ultimate Warrior.
Then we have professional poker players Maria and Tiffany. Given that they have a career in a male dominated world that requires a solid amount of gamesmanship, Maria and Tiffany could be formidable opponents. That is my first impression, at least, plus they are the sole all female team, so they may feel they have to represent.
Next, we have long-time friends Justin and Zev. This show regularly casts individuals with a physiological difference that sets them apart from the other racers. We've seen a deaf contestant, a little person, an amputee and several racers with a chronic case of Ugly American-ism. This season we get to see Zev, who has Asperger's syndrome, compete in an unpredictable game that requires him to step outside of his routine and comfort zone, which is an extreme challenge for someone with Asperger's. Let's just hope that he sets a positive example and breaks people's misconceptions about this disorder, unlike Luke who effectively squandered any good will as a positive deaf role model by the end of last season.
Then we have Mika and Canaan. This pair is the second team to hail from Tennessee (the other is Ericka and Brian) and describe themselves as Christians and county songwriters and singers.
Now it's time for the fun team. Just look at their job and their names – Flight Time and Big Easy of the Harlem Globetrotters. Like the circus clowns from an earlier season, Flight and Easy will hopefully bring all the energy and carefree attitude from their day job to diffuse some of the more tense moments that will occur.
Next we have the athletic male team in gay brothers Sam and Dan. Their physical prowess may be useful in an actual footrace but that isn't always the case for this show, so we shall see how well they work together.
Team "Make Amends" is next in the form of Gary and Matt, a father and son duo. Dad Gary expresses his desire to run the race with his son to spend time together that they missed out on. It's also helpful for us as viewers because thanks to his bright pink hair, we will never lose track of Matt in any big crowd scenes.
Eric and Lisa are married yoga instructors who believe that the other racers will think they will bring Zen calmness to the race. But then Eric proclaims with bravado that they will be "numero uno."
Now let's meet the ubiquitous "on and off dating" couple of the season, Garrett and Jessica. Garrett points out that he only has a brother and therefore, isn't too familiar with the idiosyncrasies of the fairer sex. Unfortunately, Garrett's deductive reasoning that if "they can't survive the race, how can they survive a marriage" does not bode well for Jessica long-term forecast. This is yet another trainwreck in the making.
Next, Marcy and Ron are the token older team and they are a product of online dating. It would be foolish to dismiss them early because the older teams can flourish in this game because of their life experience.
Finally, we get Meghan and Cheyne to round out the introductions. Meghan and Cheyne are childhood friends and been dating since high school. How very Kevin and Winnie from the Wonder Years. I already predict that I'll confuse Meghan and Cheyne with Mika and Canaan throughout the season as they are both young, fit, white, fair-haired dating couples with the same freakin' initials.
Hey look there's Phil standing in the middle of a concrete river and he's got something to say. Welcome to the Amazing Race. Then Phil throws the teams a curve: their first challenge is waiting for them on the other side of their bags and he points out that one team's race will end at the starting line. That's cold-hearted. You get these people all jazzed about being in the game and you throw a curve ball on the first pitch. There might as well be cartoon thought bubbles of "Ruh-roh" over each team. I feel duped because I went through the effort to get at least vaguely familiar with the teams and now one of them will be off my TV for good in the next seven minutes.
This cruel first challenge involves team's locating a Japanese license plate from the area they are traveling to. When they get the right plate Phil gives them tickets on one of two flights to Tokyo. The clue has a fairly obvious pair of Japanese characters on it that matches the plate they are looking for. If this first test is any foreshadowing at all, then we are in for a season long exhibition of not paying attention to every part of the clue.
Trial and error and rampant wild guesses fill the challenge until they slowly start to pick up on the symbols hiding in plain sight on their clue. One by one, the teams make the right choice until we are left with hothead Lance and Keri and our yoga masters Eric and Lisa scrambling for the last tickets. The reality gods smile down and the more volatile (read: entertaining) team of Lance and Keri gets the ticket. Sadly, Eric and Lisa's amazing race was nothing more than a 100-yd dash. I feel the need to correct Eric; they ended up actually as numero doce and not uno.
Lance and Keri are last out the gate to the airport and Lance already pushes the blame on Keri for not reading the clue well enough. Dude, you have been on the race for less than an hour, you need to pace yourself in the "alienating your teammate" game. He really might be the return of Jonathan. Bring on the awkward.
At the airport, Flight and Easy (who proudly wear shirts emblazoned with "Harlem Globetrotters" on them) start to talk to teams to get acquainted. When they ask Zev and Justin what they do, Zev immediately retorts with the quippy, "I play basketball for the Harlem Globetrotters." For someone with a disorder that impacts how he interacts socially, Zev seems fairly confident but not uneasy at all.
Then Maria and Tiffany employ the oft-used strategy of lying about their jobs. It seems a bit unnecessary here unlike in Survivor where the winner is determined by a jury. Regardless, the poker ladies tell everyone that they work for a non-profit organization that helps disadvantaged youth in L.A. Not only does this hide the fact that, according to them, they "make a lot of money" at poker, it also is an attempt to make them more likable. I really want to see this blow up in their faces. They are making the game more complicated for them than it needs to be.
The two flights are separated by only 30 minute departure times and the later flight actually lands early, so all the teams are bunched together when they arrive in Tokyo. It becomes very clear that the pre-arranged flights were necessary for the first Roadblock which has as all the teams competing at the same time on a fake Japanese game show called "Sushi Roulette."
The first flight lands and the teams race to a television studio but the second flight arrives early and the clumping of teams at the Roadblock is complete. Also, after only one flight and a missed tram at the airport, Maria is throwing a hissy fit, befitting a petulant tween, with her actually telling Tiffany, "I just don't even want to talk to you right now." They have the makings of the most at-odds female team in the show's history. Maybe Tiffany and Keri can trade partners and actually enjoy the race and let Lance and Maria be overbearing and belittling to each other.
Predictably, Tiffany and Maria instantly deem brothers Sam and Dan as "Team Hot Guys." Yes, they seem smitten with the brothers, who lest you forget, are GAY. As much as I already don't want these girls to win, I don't want them eliminated. They are reality casting gold and I hope they don't "grow" like so many teams claim to during the race.
One-by-one, the teams show up at the studio and take a spot around a giant wheel until all have arrived. Thus begins Sushi Roulette, the Amazing Race's attempt at the Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show. The setup and execution is authentic with bad graphics and accompanying ridiculous voiceover, an over-the-top host channeling Michael Buffer, and a dancing girl in a sailor outfit. The cheese factor is high and oh so delicious.
Wow, I just realized that's two wrestling references in one recap. Sorry for that.
Here's how the game works: they spin the wheel that is sectioned off with either sushi or a wasabi bomb. They have to eat what it lands on but the teams must land on and eat a wasabi bomb in two minutes to get the clue.
The first spin makes Ron and Cheyne the first ones to take on the bomb, while everyone else eats their sushi. Cheyne finishes first in about a minute and a half but is only a few seconds ahead of Ron.
The next clue offers both chaos and rest. The teams have to take a group of 20 Japanese tourists from the studio audience to Konno Hachimangu Shrine through the crowded streets of Tokyo. Navigating the streets alone would be enough of a challenge but they will have to arrive with all 20 people in order to complete the task. The good news is that the shrine is the first pit stop and the last team to check in MAY be eliminated.
Usually that "may" is thrown in later in the game around the time that non-elimination legs are likely. I conclude that since this is a two hour premiere and the first hour is only for the first leg and that we lost a team at the starting line (who were they again? I already forgot), this seems like a real possibility.
The next round of roulette has Justin of Zev and Justin and Mr. Intermittent Dating Garrett conquer the wasabi bomb. The producers are probably questioning the difficulty of the challenge at this point, since teams are four-for-four on first attempts.
Cut to the streets of Tokyo and we see the approach of Meghan and Cheyne (Team Wonder Years) being to ask anyone and everyone on the street for help and hope that someone not only speaks English but knows how to get to the shrine. Meanwhile, Marcy of Team eHarmony is slowly turning her excitement into obnoxiousness. She is evolving into Spartan cheerleader Arianna with her manic enthusiasm as they wander the streets. A glimpse of Ron's reaction shows him questioning the merits of the Internet as a valid dating pool. It might just be the editing and if so, nicely done.
Back to the game show, Maria is next person lucky (?) enough to get her ride on the wasabi train (let's keep it clean, folks). With a few gags in the beginning, it looks like she will finish. Alas, our demure game show host counts down the last five seconds with the understated gusto of a soccer announcer and Maria is stuck with a mouthful as time expires. The producers rejoice because they get their drama. As her luck would have it, she gets another chance on the next spin. Maria dejectedly says, "I can't do another one." Cue the dramatic commercial break.
Oh, the tension...yeah right. We return and the remaining six are just waiting around for their shot. Of course, she doesn't quit and completes the Roadblock in the last second. Now they are off with their game show posse in tow.
As Justin and Zev try to navigate their way, they find an American to point them in the right direction. While this is very fortuitous, one of their tourists has a bum foot and a broken shoe. I'm thinking that I would be carrying said person, because this is a race after all, but they are near the front of the pack with presumably reliable directions, so it's not an emergency yet.
Next, we are treated to the familiar, fast-paced point of view shot leading up to the mat and our man Phil, so we know that someone is about check in at the pit stop. Meghan and Cheyne are the first first place team of the new season and Travelocity gets its regular commercial plug in the form of the prize for finishing first.
More wasabi fun ensues as Big Easy and Lance the Ultimate Warrior Lawyer take care of their respective bombs and embark on their pit stop trek.
At the mat, Zev and Justin check in at the number two spot. Wait, what happened to Ron and Marcy? They were the second team to leave the studio and I don't recall seeing them onscreen in quite a while. So much for that life experience I thought would help them out.
Canaan of Team CMT with Mika is the next to finish the Roadblock. Still at the studio, brothers Sam and Dan, father and son Gary and Matt, and Miss and Mr. America Ericka and Brian are just playing the Amazing Wait.
It's time for another asinine comment during a confessional interview. Describing his frustration with the game show, Dan actually says, "It's like roulette, you know. It was out of our hands." No, Dan, it's not LIKE roulette...it is actually roulette and it's even called sushi roulette. Please don't let this be the future of comments from this otherwise likable team.
This show uses actual lines from the episode (as does Survivor) for the episode's title and I like to play Where's Waldo with who and when it will be said. Cue the Harlem Globetrotters. Flight Time and Big Easy are towering over their tourists as they guide them and Flight Time says, "They thought Godzilla was walking down the street." There we have it. The title of the episode is courtesy of our friends, the Globetrotters. Ever since Survivor China when gravedigger James provided the quips that became many of the titles, I've wanted to track who deserves a writing credit for supplying the producers with titles. So, Harlem Globetrotters are on the board with "1".
Mr. America Brian and dear old dad Gary tackle the wasabi bomb and despite how enthusiastically Miss America Ericka tells her husband to "EAT IT!! EAT IT!!" he just can't keep it down but Gary does. Maybe he caved to the pressure from the wife. Not sure if we got a glimpse into their marriage that they didn't intend.
At the pit stop, Lance and Keri are team number three and Lance continues his over-the-top yelling and general abrasiveness. Man he is going to be a chore to watch.
Dan finally gets a turn at a wasabi bomb and devours it in less than a minute...everyone else took at least a minute and a half. Nicely done, Dan. This performance somewhat makes up for your previous "roulette as roulette" comparison.
Shortly after getting outside, Sam and Dan team up with Maria and Tiffany to create to the Oblivious Alliance. Sam and Dan buy the girls' line about working for a non-profit, which the guys think makes them good people. Once again, Maria and Tiffany mention how Sam and Dan are really hot guys in the 20s and it is becoming clear that the girls haven't a clue that Sam and Dan are gay. So, the girls are flat out lying to the guys and guys are willing to let the girls continue to presume they are straight to make them more willing to work together. If ignorance is bliss in this game, then Disney World is no longer the happiest place on Earth. It's wherever these four are.
Finally, Marcy and Ron make it to the pit stop thanks to joining forces with Flight Time and Big Easy. For the record, Marcy and Ron are team number four and the archenemies of the Washington Generals are team number five.
On the way to the pit stop, noncommittal Garrett and Jessica had to make a pit stop of a different kind when one of their tourists needed to use the restroom.
On his second try to power through a wasabi bomb, Brian finishes and not much of his and Ericka's traipsing through the streets is featured so we must assume that they had relative ease in completing the challenge thanks to a guide they found. So despite being the 11th (last team) to leave the Roadblock, Brian and Ericka end up sixth at the pit stop. Following them are Gary and Matt as team number seven.
As they near the pit stop, Maria and Tiffany have to stop because a head count shows that they are two people short in their tourist group. For the second time in this leg, Maria gets testy and blames Tiffany for not keeping track of the people. Yet Tiffany had an opposite attitude by being supportive and encouraging when Maria failed the Roadblock. I think we know who wears the jerk pants in this relationship. The viewer is then treated to a shot of the MIA tourists standing in the middle of the mix master of crosswalks the teams had to go through. I can't help but laugh at Maria's misfortune in the game. Sorry, Tiffany, but you are guilty by association and your pleasantness so far doesn't quell my desire to revel in your team mate's failures.
After their potty break, Garrett and Jessica finally arrive at the pit stop in the number eight spot. The more competent half of the Oblivious Alliance, i.e. Dan and Sam, wisely parted ways with Maria and Tiffany long before they lost their Japanese charges. They are greeted with a ninth place finish.
Lagging behind the others that they beat out of the Roadblock are Mika and Canaan. They apparently went to Maria and Tiffany's tour guide school and have also misplaced a person. Luckily, the little lost lady is only outside the shrine. She was just a little slow and Canaan decides to pick her up and carry her up the stairs to the mat. Mika and Canaan are checked in as team number ten.
After a futile effort in backtracking part of their route, Maria and Tiffany decide to check in without the two left behind because they feel bad about walking the other 18 around for who knows how long. They reflect on how well they played this leg and say that it has really humbled them. Phil gives them the bad news, bad news and good news. They are the last team to arrive and will incur a two-hour penalty, which leads to the obvious good news that this is a non-elimination round. So, the frowns turn to relieved smiles but then Phil reminds them and the viewers that during the next leg, they will have to complete a Speedbump that is only for them as a penalty. Let's see if that newfound humility actually takes hold or if Maria will be the annoying villain that she showed signs of during this leg.
Thus endeth the first leg and first hour of The Amazing Race season 15. It seems a strong start to what the producers promise is a fast-paced race. Come back later this week for the second half of this two-hour premiere, where hopefully someone will actually be eliminated.