TiVoPlex
By John Seal
September 7, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 09/01/09
1:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Joy in the Morning (1965 USA): Airing, somewhat inappropriately, in early afternoon, Joy in the Morning features Richard Chamberlain and Yvette Mimieux as young newlyweds facing off against the usual adversaries: parents who just don't understand, school administrators unwilling to bend rules, and deeply ingrained class prejudice. Chamberlain attends law school by day and works a security gig by night, whilst barefoot and pregnant Mimieux is home alone when she isn't babysitting. Set during the Roaring ‘20s, the film is a fairly routine romancer rendered required viewing by its superb supporting cast, including Arthur Kennedy as Chamberlain's Irish immigrant father, Sidney Blackmer as a hard-ass college dean, and Oscar Homolka as a well-off acquaintance.
7:30 PM Sundance
California Dreamin' (Nesfarsit) (2007 ROM): Just to prove that Romanian film doesn't begin and end with depressing dramas such as The Death of Mr. Lazarescu and Four Months, Three Weeks, and Two Days, there's this acerbic black comedy from director Cristian Nemescu, tragically killed in a road accident during the film's post-production. (And I do mean black: just because there's humor here doesn't mean the film bears many similarities to the latest Judd Apatow flick.) Armand Assante and Jamie Elman star as American military men assigned to transport a shipment of arms through Romania to the former Yugoslavia during NATO's 1999 assault on Kosovo. When their train gets tangled up in bureaucratic red tape and grinds to a halt in a remote Carpathian berg, the two Yanks start huffing and puffing - and the locals dig in their heels and insist rules apply to Americans, too! The winner of the Un Certain Regard award at Cannes 2007, California Dreamin' is a hilarious, angry howl that skewers Americans and Romanians with equal fervor.
11:20 PM HBO Signature
Showgirls (1995 USA): "I used to like Doggy Chow, too!" That's just my favorite of many notable quotables featured in this camp classic from director Paul Verhoeven, writer Joe Eszterhas and friends. Elizabeth Berkley stars as Nomi Malone, a young woman who will do anything - anything! - to make it in Vegas. It's not an easy route to the top, though - you gotta start with lowly lap dancing before you can graduate to the high-falutin' topless variety! Showgirls popped up on HBO whilst I was vacationing last month, but happily it isn't ready to go back into the video vault just yet. My only regret is that the film is airing in pan and scan, but in this case, the absence of its original aspect ratio is trumped by the jaw-dropping majesty of Eszterhas' screenplay. Also airs 9/12 at 10:50 PM.
Wednesday 09/02/09
11:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
No Questions Asked (1950 USA): The wonderful world of insurance - and the scams associated with it - gets a look-in in this decent if unspectacular MGM pseudo-noir. Barry Sullivan takes the lead as Steve Kiever, a wet behind the ears eager beaver looking to make a big splash at his new place of employment. When boss Manston (Moroni Olsen) remarks that he'd pony up a decent reward for the return of some stolen goods if it would mean the firm could avoid paying out a larger settlement, Steve gets ideas - dangerous ones. Soon enough he's caught in a trap of his own making, as the local hoodlums decide they want a bite of the apple, too. George Murphy co-stars as (what else) a police officer, Arlene Dahl plays Steve's ambitious fiancée, and Jean Hagen is Joan, Steve's oh so loyal secretary.
3:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Nowhere to Go (1958 GB): If it had been made in 1950s France by a director named Clouzot or Melville, this Ealing production would be a regular on the revival circuit and in film school classrooms. Sadly, it's a completely unheralded film. Expertly directed by Seth Holt, who co-wrote it with critic Kenneth Tynan, Nowhere to Go features an in-transit-to-Europe George Nader as an American con man in London, looking to score by stealing a valuable coin collection owned by American expatriate and silent film star Bessie Love. His companion in crime is the docile but dangerous Bernard Lee, and there are double crosses and dirty dealings aplenty. The real star of the film, however, is Paul Beeson's amazing cinematography, always artistic but never too showy. Beeson also did sterling work in Ealing's The Shiralee (1957), and it's hard to understand how his career ended up on Harry Alan Towers scrap-heap. Dizzy Reece's outstanding jazz score (his only film work) fits the story like a glove and Maggie Smith makes her film debut as Nader's love interest. All in all, Nowhere to Go is a great film and a true work of art.
4:00 PM Showtime
The Bank Job (2008 GB): One of my favorite guilty pleasures of 2008, The Bank Job makes its small screen debut this afternoon. Set during the grim, shag pile ‘70s, the film stars Jason Statham - close cropped despite it all - as Terry Leather, a wide boy hired to break into a Baker Street bank vault. Terry thinks he's doing it for the loot - but there are ulterior plans afoot, and the cash is only a cover for acquiring some embarrassing photographs. Directed with style by Roger Donaldson and featuring an excellent screenplay from the Dick Clement-Ian La Frenais team, The Bank Job also airs at 7:00 PM.
8:00 PM Sundance
Somebody Told Me About Carla Bruni (2008 GB): I'm not sure what to expect from this documentary, which I haven't seen yet, but here's what I DO know: Carla Bruni is the beautiful ex-model wife of right-wing French Prime Minister Nicolas Sarkozy, and the film includes appearances from singer-songwriter Julien Clerc and willowy sexagenarian chanteuse Francoise Hardy. I don't know much about Bruni and I'm not much of a Clerc fan, so I'll be tuning in for Francoise, in hopes that she'll take down her guitar and gently belt out a version of Tout les Garcons et les Filles. Yeah, I know the odds are pretty long. Also airs 9/10 at 11:30 AM.
Thursday 09/03/09
1:45 AM Showtime Extreme
Beowulf (2007 USA): This ever so slightly above average sword and sorcery epic makes its widescreen television debut this morning. The great Ray Winstone dons armor as the heroic title warrior, hired by King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) to kill the monster Grendel (a perfectly cast Crispin Glover), who's been laying waste to his realm. Mission accomplished, but the beat-downs strangely go on, and Beowulf soon finds himself confronting an even deadlier opponent - Grendel's mum (Angelina Jolie)! Also on hand in this Neil Gaiman penned, Robert Zemeckis-helmed fantasy: Robin Wright Penn, John Malkovich, Brendan Gleeson, and Alison Lohman.
10:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
End of the River (1947 USA): End of the River was close to the end of the road for Indian film star Sabu. Sabu Dastigar was a youngster discovered by British producer Alexander Korda, who turned the lad into box office gold via starring roles in such films as Drums, Thief of Bagdad, and Jungle Book. After a brief stint in Hollywood, an aging (well, 20-something) Sabu returned to Britain and found work in this Powell-Pressburger production. He portrays Manoel, a South American native taken into slavery by whites and then charged with the murder of a man during a dockside donnybrook. It's actually quite an interesting film, but Sabu just wasn't up to serious drama, and by the 1950s he was relegated to low-budget European co-productions. Though shot on location in Brazil, End of the River's cast is resolutely British - look for James Hayter and Charles Hawtrey as two of the not-terribly-convincing locals!
Friday 09/04/09
3:30 AM Starz in Black
Screen-Door Jesus (2003 USA): I'd never previously heard of this film, but with a title like Screen-Door Jesus, is there really any reason NOT to watch it? It's a shot in Texas indie about a woman who finds the image of Jesus imprinted, or etched, or something, into her screen door. And it won the Golden Starfish at the Hamptons International Film Festival! I'm sure you'll agree that any film that wins a Golden Starfish is worth 90 minutes of your time.
9:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Man From Down Under (1943 USA): Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? Charles Laughton didn't, but he gave it the old college try in this amusing but wildly inaccurate MGM representation of life in the Antipodes. Laughton plays World War I Anzac vet Jocko, who rescues a couple of Belgian kiddies, adopts them, and raises them in the outback, where they grow up, oddly enough, to become all-American Richard Carlson and Donna Reed! When those dastardly Japs declare war and bomb Jocko's hotel, our hero is ready to take up arms again in defense of all that's good and holy, including Foster's Lager, Vegemite, and Chips Rafferty. You won't believe for a minute that this was shot outside the confines of a Hollywood studio, but Laughton is as good as ever - bad accent notwithstanding.
6:45 PM Turner Classic Movies
Brewster's Millions (1945 USA): Not to be confused with the Richard Pryor movie of the same name, this Brewster's Millions features Dennis O'Keefe as the titular character, a GI with no prospects who suddenly learns he's inherited a fortune from a distant relative. The legacy comes with strings attached, however: in order to gain access to the moolah, he must first spend a million bucks before he turns 30 in two months time! This contrived but enjoyable comedy earned an Oscar nom for Best Song, but is of interest now primarily for its supporting cast, which includes John Litel, Eddie ‘Rochester' Anderson, Mischa Auer, and Neil Hamilton.
Saturday 09/05/09
6:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dick Tracy, Chapters 3 & 4 (1937 USA): Shamus Dick Tracy continues his epic struggle with The Lame One in the next two installments of this Republic serial. Don't worry, he didn't REALLY die at the end of Chapter 2.
Sunday 09/06/09
7:00 AM IFC
Sarkar (2007 IND): Now this is a bit more like it, IFC. This week's Bollywood feature is an above average crime drama starring Amitabh Bachchan as the boss of a vigilante gang working to keep the ‘hood safe from corrupt police and garden-variety thugs. He also has to contend with trouble at home: first son Vishnu (Kay Kay Menon) lusts after the power his father possesses, whilst younger sprog Shankar (real-life offspring Abhishek Bachchan) is a more refined sort who's been educated in America. When tragedy strikes and Dad is crippled in an assassination attempt, the two sons butt heads regarding the organization's future direction. Sarkar has been endlessly compared to Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather, but it's a pretty decent crime pic in its own right and is a definite step up from last week's underwhelming Welcome.
9:00 PM Sundance
Triad Election (2006 HK): And speaking of films that have been compared to The Godfather, here's another! Hong Kong cinema may have passed its peak years ago, but filmmaker Johnnie To keeps on truckin'. The director of such testosterone-soaked shoot ‘em ups as The Mission and Police Tactical Unit, To is as busy as ever, and here's one of his more recent efforts. A sequel to his earlier Election (2005), Triad Election is pretty typical To, with the always excellent Simon Yam headlining as a crime boss struggling to keep control of his organization whilst keeping the ambitious young pups in check. Johnnie To is a master of the genre, and this is one of his best, with sterling cinematography by Cheng Siu-keung and a solid turn by Louis Koo as a corrupt businessman. Also airs 9/14 at 2:00 AM.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Earrings of Madame de... (1951 FRA): If you enjoyed last week's TCM import, La Ronde, you'll definitely want to make time for The Earrings of Madame de... . Also directed by Max Ophuls, the film relates the tale of Comtesse Louise (Danielle Darrieux), who's recently sold some expensive jewelry given to her as a wedding gift by husband Andre (Charles Boyer) in order to pay her debts. She tries to assuage hubby by claiming she lost the baubles - but he sees through her subterfuge, buys them back, and presents them to his mistress (Lia de Leo), whilst Louisa embarks on an affair of her own with Baron Donati (Vittorio de Sica). Oh, those Europeans and their liberal attitude towards sex! Another of Ophuls' beautifully made chamber pieces, The Earrings of Madame de... received an Academy Award nomination for Best Costumes in 1955 (Oscar's Best Foreign Language Film award wouldn't be inaugurated for another two years).
Monday 09/07/09
11:50 AM Encore Westerns
Legend of the Northwest (1978 USA): I honestly know nothing about this western other than what it says on IMDb, which, of course, makes it all the more enticing. Apparently, it was a vanity production for producer-director Rand Brooks, a Gone With the Wind vet who shot the film in 1964. Legend of the Northwest than sat on the shelf for over ten years and Brooks was left penniless until he went into the ambulance business, where he made himself a fortune. As for the film, it features Fritz Feld and Denver Pyle, somehow escaped to the drive-in circuit in 1978, and even earned a DVD release in Germany!
6:00 PM Sundance
Shadow of the Holy Book (2007 FIN): I've been writing this column for seven years, and this is certainly the first time I've recommended a Finnish documentary! Exotic provenance aside, this is also an excellent film detailing the twisted tale of Saparmurat Niyazov, late President of the central Asian republic of Turkmenistan. Rising from the ashes of the former Soviet Union, Turkmenistan became the personal fief of this one-time loyal Communist Party appartchik who became the focus of a personality cult and was elected, unopposed, to the Turkmen presidency in 1992. He proceeded to help himself to his homeland's wealth, skimming off a billion here and a billion there before his death in December 2006, attributed at the time to cardiac arrest, but the subject of rumors involving poison. Director Arto Halonen has definitely taken a leaf or two from Michael Moore's playbook, but the story of Niyazov - and the ‘Ruhnama', the ‘Holy Book' he wrote - is so fascinating you'll forgive him the stylistic plagiarism.