TiVoPlex
By John Seal
September 1, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 09/01/09
1:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
A Severed Head (1970 GB): No, it's not a horror film, nor was it a source of inspiration for Brad Laner's late ‘70s noise band Severed Head in a Bag. A Severed Head is actually based on a novel and play by Iris Murdoch, and stars Richard Attenborough as Palmer Anderson, a shrink who's cuckolded his wine-snob chum Martin (a not terribly Hobbity-looking Ian Holm). Martin's spouse Antonia (Lee Remick, radiant as ever, but struggling with an English accent) wants to break the news to hubby in a calm and civil manner - but Martin has a bit on the side (Jennie Linden) himself, whilst Palmer is cheating on his mistress with his half-sister Honor (Claire Bloom)! Probably more effective on stage than on screen, A Severed Head is a well-performed rarity unavailable on home video. Those who favor drawing room dramatics will find much to savor here - for everyone else, there's always Stanley Myers' terrific score to enjoy.
5:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Whip Hand (1951 USA): One of my favorite cinematic examples of Cold War hysteria returns to television this morning after a very long absence. Produced by rabid anti-Communist Howard Hughes, The Whip Hand stars Mercury Theatre vet Elliott Reid as Matt Corbin, a journalist who stumbles upon a great story during his summer holidays. Whilst fishing in Minnesota, Matt discovers a lake full of dead fish - and a lab full of biological-weapon developing escaped Nazis, who have shucked off one totalitarian ideology in favor of another, Marxism! Who knows how they got to the upper mid-west, but if you can overlook the preposterous plot, you'll enjoy this fast-paced action thriller, directed with style by William Cameron Menzies and co-starring Raymond Burr as an innkeeper.
7:45 PM Sundance
Good Morning Heartache (2008 ITA): A so-so Italian take on the mockumentary meme, Good Morning Heartache stars Stefano Fresi and Alessandro Averone as filmmakers Giorgio and Eros, who invite themselves into the home of a Roman family struggling to get by on temp work in the near moribund Italian film industry. Wife Lucia (Alba Rohrwacher) promptly falls head over heels for Giorgio, whilst hubby Giovanni (Marco Foschi) simply decides the experiment has gone too far and takes off for points unknown. If you've been paying attention, you'll recognize this as virtually the same plot as that of Albert Brooks' Real Life - highlighted in this very column a few months back - and frankly, Good Morning Heartache really doesn't do much new with it. It's nicely acted and looks good, but that's about the best one can say for it.
Wednesday 09/02/09
5:00 PM Sundance
Arranged (2007 USA): Are arranged marriages an outmoded practice of fundamentalist religions - or do they still have a vital role to play in the 21st century? That's the slam-dunk question posed by this worthwhile culture clash drama from co-directors Diane Crespo and Stefan Schaefer. Set in contemporary Brooklyn, the story centers on school teachers Rochel (Zoe Lister-Jones) and Nasira (Francis Benhamou), the former Orthodox Jewish, the latter Muslim. Though of different faiths, the pals have this much in common: they've had their future husbands selected for them, and they're none too pleased about it. Though Arranged feels rather quaint - is anyone really going to be surprised by the conclusions it reaches? - it's an earnest, well-acted little indie with a heart of gold. Also airs 9/3 at 1:30 AM.
10:30 PM The Movie Channel
Wilderness (2006 GB): Sean Pertwee stars as a prison officer in charge of a group of not-quite-as-tough-as-they-think-they-are Borstal Boys in this obscure made-in-Scotland thriller. Pertwee plays warder Jed, who's taken six of his lads out for some tough love on a remote Scottish island - but he hasn't reckoned on the presence of a crossbow-wielding loony who's keen to give his visitors a welcome wagon surprise they'll never forget. It's all very similar to Pertwee's 2002 vehicle Dog Soldiers (in which an army patrol is stalked by a werewolf), so if you enjoyed that pic, you'll probably also enjoy Wilderness. Also airs 9/3 at 1:30 AM.
Friday 09/04/09
1:15 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Crazy World of Julius Vrooder (1974 USA): I've been waiting quite some time for this one to show up in its original aspect ratio on Fox. Sadly, the wait continues, but that doesn't mean you should ignore this minor pleasure from director Arthur Hiller. Timothy Bottoms, quite the box office draw back in the day, stars as the titular character, a Vietnam vet who's retreated from reality and now lives beneath a freeway overpass. His hidey hole is discovered by the telephone company (Vrooder has been tapping into their equipment in order to make free calls), but not to worry - Julius has plans to run away with nurse Zanni (Barbara Hershey) and raise a family in the Canadian woods. There's not much middle ground here - most folks consider the film either delightfully loopy or hopelessly twee - but Bottoms is good, and it's fun to see famed director George Marshall showing off his acting chops as an elderly fellow vet.
9:00 PM IFC
Cabin Fever (2002 USA): The film that (for better or worse) introduced director Eli Roth to cinemagoers, Cabin Fever makes its widescreen television debut this evening. The film relates the sad tale of a handful of college chums vacationing in the woods - never, ever a good idea - and their unfortunate encounters with some contaminated water. Compared to most modern horror and slasher films, Cabin Fever is not bad at all, and at least exhibits a sense of humor sadly missing from Roth's repulsive Hostel films.
11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
I Saw What You Did (1965 USA): And I know who you are! Speaking of slasher films, I Saw What You Did could be considered the film that inadvertently started that particular genre ball rolling. Directed by William Castle, the film features Andi Garret and Virginian star Sara Lane as babysitting teens making prank calls for shits and giggles. Unfortunately, one of their victims is loopy Steve Marek (John Ireland), a wife-killer who thinks he's been seen on the job, so to speak. The girls aren't very good at covering their tracks, and Marek soon tracks them down, whilst neighbor Amy (an oddly subdued Joan Crawford) looks on from a distance. The last decent film Castle directed, I Saw What You Did was once a staple of late-night TV, but hasn't been seen in many moons. Check it out, especially if you're in the house alone!
Saturday 09/05/09
6:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dick Tracy, Chapters 1 and 2 (1937 USA): TCM used to regularly air serials (or, if you prefer, chapter-plays) on Saturday mornings, but it's been a few years since they last did so. I'm not sure if the opening episodes of 1937's Dick Tracy signal a return to those golden days of yesteryear, but here's hoping. Ralph Byrd plays superdick Tracy, here embarking on a 15-chapter struggle with criminal mastermind The Lame One, which, I have to profess, is perhaps not the best of names for a criminal mastermind. If you're at all familiar with serials, you will find very few surprises here, as the events unfold in typical fashion: chapter-ending cliff-hangers are resolved by miraculous cheats in the following episode, and chapters are padded out with duplicative footage intended to bring latecomers up to speed on the story so far. All that aside, this is far from the worst of serials, and I actually prefer it to those crummy mid-'40s Tracy features from RKO.
Sunday 09/06/09
7:00 AM IFC
Welcome (2007 IND): A super cast headlined by the charming Akshay Kumar and Anil Kapoor can't quite compensate for the shortcomings of this week's IFC Bollywood feature. I'll keep it brief: Kumar plays a guy who falls for a girl, girl's family has a criminal background, guy finds his life endangered by the mob, everyone sings and dances their way to a happy resolution, The End. This is the least interesting feature to air in IFC's series so far, and unless you're a big fan of the leads (or heroine Katrina Kaif), you can probably give it a miss.
9:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
Ace of Hearts (1921 USA): One of Lon Chaney's more obscure efforts, Ace of Hearts features The Man of a Thousand Faces as Farallone, a member of an anarchist secret society plotting the assassination of a robber baron. Forrest (John Bowers), one of the cabal's other members, draws the short straw for the suicide mission - but his love for fellow anarchist Lilith (Leatrice Joy) gives Farallone pause, leading to a tragic if predictable finale. One of the darkest films of Chaney's career - and that's saying quite a bit - Ace of Hearts survives in pretty shoddy condition, but let's be grateful it exists at all.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
La Ronde (1950 FRA): Max Ophuls: the name itself almost screams "high falutin". Ophuls had spent time in Hollywood directing quality pictures such as The Reckless Moment, but returned to his native Gaul for this much admired film about sex and love amongst the moneyed classes of fin de siècle Vienna. I've never seen it, and "high society" pictures generally don't appeal to me, but it's mighty hard to argue with the cast Ophuls assembled: there's Anton Walbrook as the nameless main character and narrator, Simone Simon as an ethereal beauty, Serge Regiani as a randy soldier, Simone Signoret as a lady of the evening, and Jean-Louis Barrault as a dissipated poet. That's thespian firepower enough to more than compensate for whatever shortcomings you or I could ever imagine regarding La Ronde.
Monday 09/07/09
5:25 AM IFC
Startup.com (2001 USA): Directed by War Room main man Chris Hegedus, this riveting documentary examines the brief history of start-up govworks.com, a website intended to serve as a one-stop information source for businesses trying to win municipal contracts. The internet bubble had burst by the time I first saw this, but since then we've had the real estate bubble burst, too, rendering the earlier bubble insignificant in comparison - but Startup.com will still leave you feeling ever so slightly sad about the failures of its generally likable if overly ambitious subjects, Kaleil Tuzman and Tom Herman. And if you feel like owning the govworks domain, it's still available!
8:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Uncle Silas (1948 GB): Jean Simmons stars in this enjoyable, little known British thriller set during the reign of Victoria. She plays Caroline Ruthyn, a 17-year-old taking care of her dear, dying daddy (Reginald Tate), and who, after Pop passes on, learns she is now the ward of troublesome Uncle Silas (Derrick de Marney). Silas has previously been cleared of murder charges, and his intentions are less than honorable: he has his eye on the family fortune Caroline will inherit when she comes of age, and with the assistance of the scheming Madame de la Rougierre (Katina Paxinou), is plotting to make sure it makes its way into his coffers. Based on a story by Sheridan le Fanu, this is a well-made Gothic meller of the old school and will be appreciated by fans of Laura, Dragonwyck, and suchlike.
6:00 PM Sundance
Beyond Belief (2007 USA): How can those 9/11 widows be so forgiving? We know how Ann Coulter feels about them, but the ladies themselves - or at least two of them - get their day in court in this tear-stained doc. Bostonians Susan Retik and Patti Quigley overcame their grief and traveled to Afghanistan to raise money for...war widows. Call ‘em naïve, but hey: it's more constructive than dropping bombs on wedding parties and funerals.
7:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
I'm Not Scared (2003 ITA): This Italian thriller was heavily promoted in art-house cinemas, but its trailer tended to undersell it, portraying it as a run-of-the-mill melodrama with a Tuscan twist. It's actually an intelligent and insightful exploration of the fears and wonders of childhood as seen through the eyes of Michele (Giuseppe Cristiano), a ten-year-old boy who stumbles across a nasty little secret beneath some sheet metal near an abandoned farmhouse. Set in bucolic rural Italy at the height of that country's kidnapping wave of the 1970s, I'm Not Scared is a subtle blend of scares and pastoral beauty and will have panicked mothers and fathers checking their children's beds after the movie is over. Best of all, it's making its widescreen television debut this evening. It's followed at 9:00 PM by The Ascent, a 1977 feature from the Soviet Union about wartime partisans operating behind enemy lines. I've never seen it, but it sounds great.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Rain People (1969 USA): A little known Francis Ford Coppola drama, The Rain People stars James Caan and Shirley Knight as Natalie and Kilgannon, two young people desperately searching for happiness and personal fulfilment in the turbulent late ‘60s. Unhappily married and pregnant Long Islander Natalie picks up hitchhiking Kilgannon, a former football player who's taken one too many blows to the noggin, and the two embark on a cross-nation road trip to find themselves. That's a simple and familiar recipe, but Coppola cooks up a sturdy dish with it, with fine acting and superb cinematography from Bill Butler, who would shoot the equally intriguing Jack Nicholson vehicle Drive, He Said only two years later.