TiVoPlex
By John Seal
August 17, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 08/18/09

3:00 AM HBO Signature
The Nine Lives of Marion Barry (2009 USA): Washington, D.C.'s baddest of bad boys, former city mayor and present city councilman Marion Barry, gets the documentary treatment in this kiss and tell original HBO feature. The film made its premiere last week during my summer break, and I haven't seen it prior to press time, but let's face it: who could resist a film about a corrupt, crack-smoking, anti-gay marriage, family values crank like Marion Barry? The man makes Fritz the Cat look like a piker.

9:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Green Berets (1968 USA): John Wayne's infamous pro-Vietnam War blockbuster returns to the small screen this evening after a lengthy absence. Wayne plays Mike Kirby, a Special Forces Colonel in charge of a super secret mission to kidnap a gook General. Also along for the ride: fellow super patriots Muldoon (Aldo Ray), Beckworth (David Janssen), Petersen (Jim Hutton), and Provo (son of Duke Patrick Wayne). Appalling politics and complete unwillingness to engage with the war's complexities aside, The Green Berets is a pretty enjoyable war movie that ends with one of Hollywood's most egregious errors: the sun setting in the east.

Wednesday 08/19/09

Midnight Starz
I Served the King of England (2006 CZH): Prague Springer Jiri Menzel stuck his head above the 21st century parapet with this most welcome comedy-drama about the life and times of a Czech everyman. Ivan Barnev and Oldrich Kaiser split the role of Jan Dite, a waiter who lucks into ownership of a hotel during the Nazi occupation and then ends up imprisoned for 15 years by Czechoslovakia's post-war Communist regime. His episodic adventures are related herein, including his dalliance with an enthusiastic Nazi (the wonderful Julia Jentsch) and his dabbling in the world of philately. Menzel has actually remained active ever since his heyday 40 years ago, but most of his post-Closely Watched Trains films never got released in the US. Thankfully that changed with I Served the King of England, which airs again at 3:00 AM.

3:05 AM Encore Action
Safari 3000 (1982 USA): Fans of fast cars and cheap thrills might get some mileage out of this auto race adventure shot in Africa. David Carradine headlines as driver extraordinaire Eddie Mills, hired by Playboy reporter J.J. (Stockard Channing) to assist with her coverage of a major African rally. Eddie and J.J. quickly find themselves becoming part of the story, villain Borgia (Christopher Lee) tries to put the dash-30-dash beneath their adventure, and lots of wildlife run around. This is one of many films shot with the support of South Africa's apartheid government during the 1980s and designed to put a shiny gloss on that nation's political situation, so you may feel a bit queasy watching it. Or at least experience a little motion sickness.


9:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw (1959 GB): Jayne Mansfield's career was on the slide by the time she appeared in this British-made comedy-western helmed by (of all people) Raoul Walsh. La Mansfield plays Kate, love interest for Brit expatriate Jonathan Tibbs (Kenneth More), whose unintentionally heroic exploits aboard a stagecoach have led to employment as chief lawman of the titular Old West town. Naturally, Tibbs is not REALLY up to the task, but when the local cowboys and Indians decide to put him to the test, his deadpan drollery serves him well and the folks of Fractured Jaw are well pleased with the results. The first western shot in Spain, The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw co-stars Bruce Cabot, Sid James, Henry Hull, and Robert Morley: as for Jayne, things just got worse from here, her future projects consisting primarily of low budget European films predicated more on her physical attributes than her comedic talents.

6:30 PM HBO 2
Fixer: The Taking of Ajmal Naqshbandi (2009 USA): Ajmal Naqshbandi made his living dangerously: he helped western journalists establish contact with Taliban insiders, enabling intrepid scribes to get the scoop on more risk-averse corporate writers. One of his employers was Nation writer Christian Parenti, who traveled to Afghanistan in 2007 to try and gain access to euphonious Taliban bigwig Mullah Dadullah. Instead, Parenti got a story he'd rather have done without: Islamic fundamentalists kidnapped and murdered Naqshbandi, whose tragic fate is related in this gruelling doc from filmmaker Ian Olds (Occupation Dreamland). An award-winner at this year's Tribeca Film Festival, Fixer is not for the faint of heart, and features some extremely unpleasant excerpts from the Taliban's own (non-award winning) videos. Also airs at 9:30 PM.

Thursday 08/20/09

7:30 AM Fox Movie Channel
On the Threshold of Space (1956 USA): If you prefer your space opera a little more realistic and a little less reliant on bug-eyed monsters, you may want to check out this Fox feature, which makes a very rare television appearance this morning. Guy Madison stars as Jim Hollenbeck, a doctor experimenting in the new field of "space medicine". He's ably assisted by John Hodiak, Marty Milner, Warren Stevens, and Dean Jagger, and there's love interest on hand in the shape of Virginia Leith. It's all shot in color and in Cinemascope, though sadly this initial airing on Fox is in pan and scan.

5:00 PM IFC
Inglorious Bastards (1978 ITA): Is there a movie I've been looking forward to LESS this summer than Quentin Tarantino's remake of this Enzo Castellari actioner? Besides G.I. Joe, that is. Perhaps it's just me, but the idea of American troops taking extra-legal liberties and submitting their victims to incalculable pain and torture cuts just a little bit close to the post-9/11 bone. Yuck. Anyway, the original, correctly spelled version of Inglorious Bastards is much sillier and much less ethically questionable. The Hammer, Fred Wiliamson, takes the lead as Fred Canfield, an American private who somehow managed to integrate the United States Army years before Harry Truman did. Fred is one of a group of escaped POWs who find themselves tasked with stealing a V2 rocket and handing it over to the Maquis, who presumably intend to paint it to resemble a baguette, dress it in a stripy shirt, and point it at the Fuhrerbunker. Fred's lovely and charming assistants include Lt. Yeager (Bo Svenson), killer Tony (Peter Hooten), petty criminal Nick (Michael Pergolani), and conshy Berle (Jackie Basehart), and they all sport their standard ‘70s hair-don'ts throughout the film. It's tremendous fun, and won't make you feel like taking a shower afterwards. Also airs at 10:15 PM.

Friday 08/21/09

3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Mad Dog Coll (1961 USA): This rare gangster pic isn't very good — in fact, it's pretty bland — but there are a few points in its favor. First off, it's the only screen bio of Vincent Coll (John Davis Chandler), a rather nasty Roaring Twenties trigger man who enjoyed his work a bit too much. Secondly, the film features a terrific performance by Vincent Gardenia as mob bigwig Dutch Schultz, who realized that Coll was making everyone's lives a little more dangerous than they needed to be. Finally, Mad Dog Coll features the big screen debut of one Gene Hackman, who makes an uncredited appearance as a policeman playing opposite Telly Salavas! Add it all up, and you have an intriguing second feature from director Burt Balaban, also responsible for the equally tepid Murder, Inc.

11:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
I Never Sang for My Father (1970 USA): Nine years later, and ol' Geno's a star! This time Hackman plays Gene Garrison, a young professor struggling to escape the shadow of his old man (Melvyn Douglas), in this superior drama from director Gilbert Cates. Planning to relocate to California from New York, Gene finds his hopes stymied when his mother passes away unexpectedly — and dear ol' Dad needs him more than ever. Relationship dramas are difficult to pull off convincingly, but this one — adapted from Robert Anderson's stage play of the same name — is a pitch-perfect beauty that shouldn't be missed. Look for the immortal James Karen as the director of an old folks' home and Conrad Bain as the Garrison family clergyman!

Saturday 08/22/09

6:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
Ten Days to Tulara (1958 USA): I must admit I've never seen this one, but as a huge Sterling Hayden fan, it's a must-see in this week's TiVoPlex. Hayden plays a pilot for hire who gets caught up in a South American robbery. An independent feature shot in Mexico, Ten Days to Tulara is also one of the few ‘50s features lacking a single user comment on IMDb, which pretty much sums up its level of obscurity.

Sunday 08/23/09

1:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Loving (1970 USA): And speaking of Sterling Hayden and relationship dramas, here's a film that brings the actor and the genre together, along with director Irvin Kershner (The Empire Strikes Back). George Segal stars as Brooks Wilson, a commercial artist struggling to maintain his career's upward trajectory. Brooks has a lovely wife (Eva Marie Saint), a great boss (Hayden), and a charming mistress (Janis Young) whose existence is giving his conscience hell to pay. The story follows his efforts to break things off with his lady friend and revitalize his marriage — but a careless night on the town renders his efforts moot and makes matters much, much worse. Co-starring Keenan Wynn and former Charlie Chan Roland Winters, Loving also features rare construction footage of the World Trade Center.

7:00 AM IFC
Rang de Besanti (2006 IND): This week's Bollywood feature is a near interminable history lesson about Indian independence, all wrapped up in a candy-coated package of goofy comedy and bouncy musical numbers. Alice Patten stars as Brit filmmaker Sue, who's working on a project about the execution of Indian revolutionaries during the 1940s. Sue discovers that contemporary Indian youth have next to no interest in their country's history, and she determines to teach them an important lesson through heavy-handed lecture and toe-tapping melody. Rang de Basanti is po-faced and light-hearted in equal measure, which isn't a particularly pleasing blend as far as I'm concerned.

Monday 08/24/09

1:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Season of Passion (1959 AUS-GB): Originally released in overseas territories with the much more intriguing title Season of the Seventeenth Doll, this comedy-drama features an impressive cast, including Angela Lansbury and Yanks Ernest Borgnine and Anne Baxter. Borgnine plays Queensland cane-cutter Roo, a man's man with an eye for the ladies and a taste for liquor who enjoys raising Hell with fellow sugar shucker Barney (John Mills). After a long season of sucrose securing, the lads head to Sydney for their hols, where Roo's loyal sheila Olive (Baxter) awaits him — and where Barney is about to discover he's been dumped by Nancy (Jessica Noad). Based on a beloved Australian play, writer-director Leslie Norman's screen adaptation is still regarded with contempt down under — not least for Borgnine's futile attempt at an Aussie accent. It doesn't add up to a great deal, but Lansbury is quite good as Pearl, a working class manicurist with middle-class aspirations.

3:05 PM Sundance
Broken Noses (1987 USA): Boxing fans may want to check out this black and white documentary about a boys' boxing club in Portland, Oregon. Focusing on failed 25-year-old pugilist Andy Minsker, coach for the lads of the Mount Scott club, Broken Noses is a surprisingly arty affair, with a jazz score and snippets of Shakespeare's Richard II thrown in for good measure. Director Bruce Weber's next effort, the Chet Baker bio Let's Get Lost, would end up an Oscar nominee, and while Broken Noses isn't quite as good, it's still a beautifully made film.