Watch What We Say: Top Chef Masters
By Jason Lee
June 12, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com

He's here to plump *clap* you up.

Summer is upon us and with it comes all of the stereotypical summer-y activities like family trips to a national park, hiking mountain trails, shopping for short shorts and going to the beach. You know, summer stuff. You'll notice, however, that I didn't mention "watching TV" as one of those iconic summer activities . . . that's because summer television is usually as appetizing as Aunt Murial's rhubarb pie, two days after Thanksgiving.

Not to worry. The summer version of Watch What We Say is all about helping you spot the spot the studs amongst the duds. We'll help you and your TiVo make it through this season.

This week on Watch What We Say: The masters get a shot behind the chopping block at Top Chef.

Okay, I'll come clean. Before I even start my review of the premiere of Bravo's new reality series, Top Chef: Masters, I'll be upfront with you guys and confess that I am a huge, raving, passionate fan of Top Chef. I've watched all five seasons and my boyfriend bought me the Top Chef Cookbook for my birthday this year. Thus, it might be a little bit of an understatement to say that I began last night's episode in a state of mind that was somewhat positively-inclined to enjoy this new spin-off of television's best reality show.

What ensued, for those of you who would like me to get straight to the point, was an entertaining, lighthearted, enjoyable hour of television...though it felt a little bit like Top Chef Lite. Like a fat-free salad dressing that does the job without blowing you away, Top Chef Masters has the majority of ingredients that makes Top Chef great, but lacks the gripping drama and emotional weight that makes Top Chef as compelling as it is.

Let me start back at the beginning. The show opens like most season premieres of Top Chef: a whirlwind of introductions to new chefs, blurbs from interviews, shots of them walking out of the airport, etc. But once we get into the kitchen, we find out that the rules have changed.

Each episode will consist of the familiar combination of a Quickfire Challenge and an Elimination Challenge, but each round will be scored from 1 – 5 stars by a single critic or a panel of critics. This comes out to 5 stars up for grabs in the Quickfire and 20 for the Elimination. Each episode will feature four "Master" chefs, with the winner of each episode advancing to the "Championship Round" where the remaining six will compete head-to-head for the title of Top Chef Master.

I really did appreciate this new format, for it rewards consistency across both challenges – something that was rarely considered in Top Chef. For example, I can remember two instances from Season 4 in which Spike won the Quickfire but botched the Elimination Challenge – in one instance he was narrowly saved, in the other he was cut. However, in neither case was his exemplary performance in the Quickfire weighed against his mistakes in the Elimination Challenge. In Top Chef: Masters, they will be.

I don't want to bore you too much with what actually took place in the episode - keep in mind, this is a review and not a recap. Suffice to say that for the rest of this season, each Quickfire will revisit a favorite Quickfire Challenge from a past season of Top Chef and this one required our four Masters to cook a scrumptious dessert in 60 minutes for a group of Girl Scouts (yeah, not their best challenge). The Elimination Challenge was better, sending the Masters back to college where they had to cook a three-course meal in a dorm room with nothing more than a microwave, toaster oven and hot plate (GREAT challenge).

As a self-professed fan of Top Chef, I really enjoyed three things about this new series and didn't enjoy two things. In the good pile, I gotta say, the caliber of chefs and critics are really high. These people know what they're doing. At one point, one of the chefs accidentally leaves all of his food in a freezer instead of a refrigerator overnight. As opposed to some of the self-pitying complaints that we might get from a typical Top Chef competitor, the Master sucked it up and put out a great set of dishes.

Likewise, the critics are well-spoken and highly articulate – after all, this is what they do for a living. It's a big contrast to our typical judging panel on Top Chef. While fantastic at what they do, Tom Colicchio is a chef and Gail Simmons is an editor at Food and Wine Magazine. The only real critic they've ever had on their judging panel was Toby in Season 5. The scrutinizing panel of critics in Top Chef: Masters is truly intimidating.

Additionally, I appreciated the camaraderie and sense of fun that the chefs brought to the table. They're playing for charity and don't seem the least bit inclined to allow their performance on Top Chef: Masters influence how they think about themselves as chefs. They're established and respected and they know it.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the disappointments, which must first and foremost start with the new host, Kelly Choi. I'm not sure why she's hosting this show – beyond some hosting duties of other food-related television programming, she doesn't seem like that big of a food expert. She certainly pales in comparison to the level of chefs and critics on the show. But beyond her expertise, she just seems wooden. Akin to the detested host of Season 1, Katie Lee Joel, Kelly feels uncomfortably scripted. You simply do not get any of the charisma or sense of improvisation that you do from Padma. Kelly is pretty much just a hotter version of Julie Chen.

And while I've acknowledged that the increased camaraderie led to a decreased level of adolescent immaturity (in which every perceived affront or criticism from the judges was taken as a personal attack), it also, confoundingly, reduced the overall drama of the challenges. In your typical Top Chef episode, each chef is 100% aiming to win the title and knows that the smallest mistake on any given day could lead to their dismissal. The challenges are tense intersections between skill, ingenuity and luck.

With these Masters, they're all playing for charity and are confident in their own skill – they're not trying to prove anything to anyone. While this can be nice in one respect, it definitely reduces the "OHMYLORD who's going to go home cause it better not be Ariane cause I really like Ariane even though she butchered the turkey wrong but that was really Leah's fault and it's not fair that she's safe from elimination cause I would have sent her home but instead it could be Ariane and please don't let it be Ariane and OHNOITSARIANE!!!" factor.

I know, I know. I'm comparing this new show to its predecessor and that's not fair. Top Chef is a masterpiece of reality television and not every show, not even a spin-off, can be another Top Chef. While such a comparison is almost inevitable, it is unfair.

As I assess the show as a stand-alone series, I feel that it should be taken as a highly entertaining culinary competition among some of the best chefs, judged by some of the most accomplished critics. The challenges are challenging, but not unreasonably so. The exchanges of dialogue between the critics and the chefs can be enjoyed purely as dueling exchanges between accomplished fencers, even if one lacks any type of culinary knowledge. And the new scoring system is brilliant.

I think Top Chef: Masters will be a nice appetizer as I eagerly await the debut of Top Chef Season 6 (which takes place in Vegas, yippee!!). It's all good fun but not entirely satisfying. As a summer intermission, however, it'll definitely do the trick.

Watch What We Say rating: Three TiVos

Watch What We Say: Rating System

Four TiVos: This is television content raised to the level of a transcendent art form. Not only should you TiVo this program for yourself, you should keep it on your TiVo for future generations to watch and savor.

Three TiVos: This is a very good show with a regular spot in my TiVo rotation. I watch every week and will often invite my friends over to share the enjoyable experience.

Two TiVos: I'll TiVo this show if I need something to watch while I'm folding laundry or dusting furniture.

One TiVo: I actively dislike this show and never allow it to take up space in my TiVo. Often times, I'll gripe about the show's producers, ridicule the actors and lambaste the network for keeping it on the air.

Zero TiVos: If this show is on, I unplug my TiVo for fear that the show is accidentally recorded and my entire home entertainment system gets contaminated with this malignant, diseased trash.