TiVoPlex
TiVoPlex for March 10, 2009 through March 16, 2009
By John Seal
March 9, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 03/10/09

1:00 PM Fox Movie Channel
Che! (1969 USA): If you want a serious bio-pic examining the life of Bolivian bad boy Che Guevara, you'd be advised to check out Steven Soderbergh's recent two-part magnum opus or Walter Salles' excellent (and comparatively bite-sized) adaptation of Guevara's The Motorcycle Diaries. If, however, you are looking for a prime slice of Hollywood cheese, you can hardly do better than this train wreck from the normally reliable Richard Fleischer. Egyptian-born Omar Sharif is not entirely bad as the famed revolutionary, but you need to see the cigar- and scenery-chewing performance of Jack Palance as Fidel Castro to truly appreciate Che!'s unrelenting awfulness. The film's wrap-around segments - where actors portraying "ordinary" South Americans expound their views on Che - are equally embarrassing. The big news, however, is that Fox has finally liberated a widescreen print from their vaults — so if you've avoided watching Che! on aspect ratio principle in the past, you just ran out of excuses.

10:30 PM Showtime 3
The Ferryman (2006 NZ-GB): An ancient curse gets the better of a group of pleasure cruisers in this minor but enjoyable horror effort from down under. Kerry Fox stars as spunky tour guide Suze, who, with the assistance of skipper Big Dave (Tamer Hassan), is playing host to two couples traveling from New Zealand to Fiji. Along the way they encounter a mysterious cloud and rescue The Greek (John Rhys-Davies), who's been possessed by an evil spirit determined to hack his way into the hearts of our holidaying half-dozen. If you tune in expecting Peter Jackson-style ultra-gore you'll be disappointed, but The Ferryman is a perfectly serviceable, rather old-fashioned supernatural thriller.

Wednesday 03/11/09

4:00 AM IFC
Mon Oncle d'Amerique (1980 FRA): There was a time — why, I think it was around 1980! — when big-beaked Gerard Depardieu was a huge star and quite a sex symbol in his native Gaul. I never really got his appeal — at his best, the guy looked like he had a baked potato stuck between his eyes — but he was certainly in some fine films. Mon Oncle d'Amerique (not to be confused with either Mon Oncle or Mon Oncle Antoine, both recommended recently in these here parts) stars Depardieu as a factory manager about to lose his job, as well as Nicole Garcia as an actress confronted by an unenviable moral dilemma and Roger Pierre as a man going through a mid-life crisis. This being an Alain Resnais film, however, it's far from a vanilla trilogy of middle-class woe, and is framed as a psychological case study being conducted by real-life psychologist Henri Laborit. It's an easier film to "get" than other Resnais brainteasers (Last Year at Marienbad, take a bow), and looks wonderful thanks to cinematographer Sacha Vierny.

Thursday 03/12/09

4:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Squaw Man (1931 USA): Warner Baxter, of all people, portrays an English aristocrat unfairly blamed for the sins of a relative in this typically preachy Cecil B. DeMille schlockbuster. Baxter plays Jim Wingate, whose cousin Henry (Paul Cavanagh) has embezzled ten thousand pounds cash money. Jim decides to start afresh by changing his name and relocating to the Wild West, where he falls for and weds Indian girl Naturich (Lupe Velez). Seven years later, Henry is killed in a fox-hunt after having paid his debt to society, and widow Diana (Eleanor Boardman) heads to Arizona to tell Jim the news — only to discover he's gone native. This being 1931, this isn't considered an acceptable lifestyle choice, and the story ends on a predictably tragic note. This was the third time De Mille filmed The Squaw Man, and though I prefer the original 1914 version, this iteration is not bad as far as early talkies go.

9:00 AM Showtime
Head Trauma (2006 USA): This well conceived indie horror effort deserves better than to be consigned to cable filler status. That's been its fate, but I encourage you to set aside your horror fodder preconceptions and give Head Trauma a chance. Newcomer Vince Mola stars as sad sack George, a drifter who's just inherited his grandmother's rundown house. George is determined to turn it into a home, but neighbor Chester (Jim Sullivan) and the city housing authority are less keen on the idea and would prefer the property be condemned. In addition to trying to pump water out of the flooded basement, George is also having some other problems: namely, nightmares about a hooded figure dragging a body through the woods. Head Trauma was director Lance Weiler's first film after 1998's excellent Last Broadcast, and it's on a par with the best Larry Fessenden features: superb atmosphere, decent acting (though some of it is quite amateurish), and a screenplay that isn't intended to placate ADHD-addled 14-year-olds. It's imperfect and flawed, but is also a huge breath of fresh air in a genre that has, of late, become very stale. Also airs at noon.

Friday 03/13/09

6:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
Zotz! (1962 USA): Gadzooks! This obscure William Castle film has been on my must-see list for decades, but as I haven't felt like spending a fortune for it on VHS ($129 right now at Amazon), I've had a very long wait. Tom Poston — yes, that Tom Poston! — stars as Professor John Jones, who stumbles into possession of a rare and powerful coin that attracts the attention of both the Pentagon and the Kremlin. That's all I know about the plot, but with a supporting cast that includes Cecil Kellaway, Fred Clark, Jim Backus, Mike Mazurki, and former Marx Brothers foil Margaret Dumont in her penultimate big screen appearance, this is absolutely essential viewing.

9:00 PM IFC
Wonderland (2003 USA): Wonderland is not a well-regarded film, and that puzzles me. I'm certainly not ready to claim that it's a neglected American classic, and it's easy enough to see why it sank without a trace at the box office. There are also plenty of legitimate nits to pick: the film lazily relies on contemporary and/or hip pop songs to fill up its soundtrack in lieu of original scoring, and director James Cox's predilection for hyperactive MTV-style shaky-cam work is distracting. Even after considering those faults, however, I found Wonderland a powerful and even moving film, albeit one that tells the same story portrayed in P. T. Anderson's better-regarded but fictionalized Boogie Nights. Start with the lead performance of Val Kilmer - yes, Val Kilmer - as porno movie star John Holmes. Generally considered a good comic actor unable to hold his own in a serious role, Kilmer is completely convincing here as the pathetic Holmes, strung out on crack cocaine and hangin' with some extremely shady homeboys whilst his fame recedes inexorably into the distance. Move on to the performance of Kate Bosworth, who brings the right balance of innocence and experience to her role as Holmes' paramour Dawn Schiller, and then take a look at the consistently underrated Lisa Kudrow, who arguably delivers the film's finest thesping as Holmes' estranged wife Sharon. Want more dramatic highlights? Josh Lucas, Tim Blake Nelson, and Dylan McDermott are equally outstanding as the sleazes who share guns, dope and women with the air-headed porn star, and Ted Levine provides world-weary grit as police investigator Sam Nico. Perhaps the film's only casting misfire is the too-recognizable Eric Bogosian (sporting a bad accent) as drug kingpin Eddie Nash, but that's a minor quibble at worst. This is a violent, unpleasant film about pathetic, unpleasant people, but the screenplay (co-written by director Cox with three others) doesn't oversimplify matters, leaving just enough shades of grey to make this a satisfying and unforgettable journey into Hollywood's heart of darkness. As long as you're comfortable with the subject matter, you owe it to yourself to take a trip to Wonderland.

11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Shack Out on 101 (1955 USA): For many years, Shack Out on 101 was virtually a lost film. You read about it in books, but it wasn't on video and hardly ever showed up on TV — until one day, sometime around the turn of the century, it cropped up on TNT and dreams became reality. Was it worth the wait? At the time, I remember being distinctly disappointed, but I'm hoping a second viewing will fully reveal its awesome majesty. After all, how can any film featuring Lee Marvin as a borderline psycho cook named Slob who also happens to be a commie stooge NOT be good? What I do remember is Floyd Crosby's excellent black and white cinematography; luminous, deeply shadowed, and rain sodden, it's the distinct highlight of this low-budget thriller.

Saturday 03/14/09

12:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Nightmare Honeymoon (1973 USA): Every once in a while, TCM provides us with a true WTF moment. This is one of them, another long forgotten MGM production on a par with the equally obscure Wicked, Wicked. Helmed by Elliott Silverstein (who replaced, of all people, Nicolas Roeg in the director's chair!), Nightmare Honeymoon stars John Beck as a killer crossing swords with newlywed couple David and Jill (Dack Rambo and Rebecca Smith) deep in the humid bayous of Louisiana. The young lovers witness a gangland execution, get roughed up by the villains, and then decide that a cool, tall glass of revenge will slake their thirst for southern-fried payback. Tailor made for the drive-in circuit, Nightmare Honeymoon's MGM-sized budget allowed producer Hugh Benson the luxury of hiring Elmer Bernstein to compose the score — and for extra WTF points, he also snagged Walter Koenig — Walter Koenig! — to portray a backwoods depity sheriff.

5:00 PM IFC
Chopper (2005 AUS): Future Jolly Green Hulk star Eric Bana burst onto the festival scene with this controversial Australian paean to a very, very bad man. Based on the autobiography of Mark Brandon Read, this is a Tarantino-esque exercise in violence and four-letter words. Not for all tastes by any means, but fans of crime and action films will undoubtedly want to see what the clean-cut Eric Bana was up to in the years before he became Bruce Banner. Also airs at 10:00 PM.

7:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Great Bank Hoax (1978 USA): I've never seen this film, but then virtually no one else has either. Burgess Meredith and Richard Basehart star as small town bankers plotting to defraud their institution — and needing to do so before the soon-come auditors arrive to balance the books. These days that's called TARP. The Great Bank Hoax is followed at 9:00 PM by Mine Own Executioner (1947), a well regarded British drama that features Meredith as a psychologist plumbing the depths of his shell-shocked patient (Kieron Moore).

Sunday 03/15/09

10:20 PM Encore Love Stories
Neo Ned (2005 USA): On paper, this sounds like an unlikely, if not outright terrible, idea: neo-Nazi falls in love with deranged African-American girl who thinks she's Adolf Hitler. Sounds like the latest episode of South Park, right? In reality, however (and much to my surprise), it ain't half bad. Jeremy Renner plays skinhead Ned, who's been sent to a mental hospital as punishment for his involvement in a hate crime. Here he encounters Rachael (Gabrielle Union), a sexually abused young woman who periodically issues orders in guttural German to anyone who'll listen, and the two immediately find themselves strangely attracted to one other. Union and Renner are both excellent, rendering what could have been a ham-fisted folly into a surprisingly delicate tale of a most unlikely friendship.

Monday 03/16/09

2:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Henri Langlois: Phantom of the Cinematheque (2004 FRA): How'd you like to earn a living dusting off old film canisters, threading the contents into a projector, and then watching the images cast upon a screen? That's effectively how the subject of this film spent his every waking moment, whilst also creating the concept of a film archive and bringing it into existence. Henri Langlois fell in love with cinema in the 1930s and starting collecting whatever bits and pieces of film came his way. The advent of World War II saw his mission take on sudden urgency, as censorious Nazis threatened to destroy or seize films of questionable political or moral value, and by the 1960s Langlois had become a cultural icon around the world and his Cinematheque a priceless resource. It's a fascinating story enlivened by archival footage of the man himself, as well as filmmakers such as Claude Berri, Jean-Luc Godard, and Eric Rohmer.

6:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
Three Bad Men (1926 USA): 3 Bad Men (to quote the title card) is an outstanding example of the silent western and one of John Ford's earliest triumphs. The photography is stunning and the land rush sequences truly impressive, and while the story of redemption and sacrifice is predictable it is nonetheless still moving. Even if you don't care for westerns, this is worth your while.

7:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Don't Raise the Bridge, Lower the Water (1968 USA): I got sent to Jerry Lewis re-education camp last week, but because I'm writing this before I've actually seen Arizona Dream, I can't report success yet. (Failure is not an option.) Here to help me fully appreciate the man's genius is a five-film sampling of J-Lew's talents, starting with this made in Britain comedy about an ambitious Yank's life in London town. The block continues at 9:15 AM with Hook, Line and Sinker (1969), in which our Jer portrays a man with a mistaken medical diagnosis; at 11:00 PM by Three On a Couch (1966), wherein he plays an artist with multiple personalities; at 1:00 PM by The Nutty Professor (1963), featuring one of Lewis' most famous characters, Buddy Love; and at 3:00 PM by The Big Mouth (1967), which provides the star another opportunity to portray multiple personalities. If I make it to the end of this Jerry mini-marathon, I'll be surprised. I'd rather be watching a REAL funny man — like Sammy Petrillo!