Top Chef Recap
By Jason Lee
January 30, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Why is Leah still here? Can someone explain that to me? I remember early on in the season, I actually thought she had talent. She sounded smart, she had her dishes together, she was classically trained, and had experience at a really great restaurant...now she just comes off like a ditsy girl that's just had one mimosa too many. Seriously, she slurs her words, she never has any good ideas for dishes...talk about someone who needs a vacation.
Anyhow, the show opens with the ongoing saga of Leah and Hosea. While Hosea seems like he's moved on from their little adulterous adventure (carping on his frustration that Stefan is continuing his winning ways and won't shut up about it), Leah drones on and on about their infamous kiss on the couch. She says that throughout the competition, she and Hosea have been the closest competitors and that after mixing a little alcohol into the situation, they ended up not hooking up, but making out.
Yeah, I'm sure that your boyfriend will really care that you guys didn't hook up. Same goes for Hosea's girlfriend.
Have you guessed by now that I'm sick of them both?
We arrive in the Top Chef kitchen and we see Padma and Scott Conant - a great Italian chef who just got a three-star review (highest level possible) from the NY Times. Hosea says that getting a three-star rating from the Times is almost impossible unless you're perfect...meaning that Fabio will either wow him with his mastery of Italian cooking or disappoint him that Italian food could be done in such a mediocre way.
The Quickfire is Super Bowl-themed this week, and again, the producers have impressed me with their creativity this season. Before them stands a large chalkboard with a grid on it. Along the top are a series of names of ingredients - all covered up. Down the left side is a series of names of dishes - all covered up. Each contestant has a chance to write their name in any square they choose, though they're not sure what ingredient and dish they're committing themselves to.
One by one, Padma reveals their combination. Fabio has vegetables as his dish and oats as his ingredient. A tough challenge but he's up for it. Stefan is next and he has a dairy dish with...OATS! What's up with this? Padma gleefully reveals every ingredient along the top - they all say oats. Apparently this is the Quaker Oats Quickfire Challenge where each chef, as Padma puts it, must "re-think the super grain." No one gets immunity but the winner will get an
advantage in the elimination round.
Carla is excited about this challenge, dubbing herself "Miss Oats" because she eats it four times a week. Jaime has oats and fruit and has deliberately shied away from doing a dessert. Jeff seems to be taking out his recent frustrations on his chicken, smashing it audibly with a metal bowl. Leah, like always, is clueless and admits that she has absolutely no idea what to do with seafood and oats. Apparently she's as good in the kitchen as she is in bed.
The seven chefs present their dishes to Scott for judgement. He doesn't give much away in terms of what he's thinking. The only indication, positive or negative, from him is the fact that he takes multiple bites of Jeff's chicken, which of course, makes Jeff ecstatic, having assumed that it's a good sign when your judge eats lot of your dish.
Scott and Padma take their position at the front of the room. Leah's mussels and branzino dish is on the bottom, as she hasn't executed it properly and the bacon she used clashed with her fish. Fabio's oats-covered-eggplant also comes out on the bottom, as the oats completely overwhelmed every other flavor. Lastly, Jeff is on the bottom for having a very brown, very heavy dish (though his chicken was very moist and well done).
On top, we have Miss Oats with a delectable tofu and veggies dish. Jaime's dish with fruit three ways is also on top with a nice flavor combination. Stefan is also in the top three with great textures and nice flavor. Ugh, I hate Stefan...
...which of course means that he wins this Elimination Challenge. Blech. This irks me almost as much as it irks Hosea, with Stefan having now won five challenges back-to-back. Anyone else think that he's a lock to make the finale?
The chefs tromp back to the stew room for a "surprise" while Padma "gets things ready" for their Elimination Challenge. Like children at Christmas, the chefs can't wait to see what they're getting. "Dogs?" Fabio wonders to himself. Nope, they're getting customized football jerseys. But what could the Elimination Challenge be, then?
Upon re-entry to the kitchen, the chefs find out that they'll be competing in the first-ever Top Chef Bowl. Who's their opposition? Not each other but a selection of "Top Chef All-Stars" from past seasons! Having been a fan of this show since Season 1, I am over the moon. I love it when they bring chefs back. I guess I'm just easy to please.
Of course, I think you'd be hard-pressed to call these chefs, "All-Stars." True Top Chef All stars, in my opinion, would HAVE to include Marcel, Tiffany, Hung, Stephanie, and Richard. We have none of these. Instead, we have Spike, Andrew and Nikke from Season 4, Camille from Season 3, Josie from Season 2 and Miguel and Andrea from Season 1. This is really unfair. At least four of the chefs from this season will make it to the finale...as for the All-Stars, none of them made it that far. I think the cards are pretty well-stacked in favor of this season's chefs.
Not to say that this challenge won't be interesting. I hated Miguel during Season 1 but I'm totally ready for Josie to show her stuff. She was eliminated far too early in Season 2 and would have done extremely well, I think. She'll definitely be a force to be reckoned
with.
The Elimination Challenge goes as follows. Each chef in Season 5 will compete head-to-head against one of the All-Stars. The judges have selected 7 NFL teams - each pair will be given a bag full of local ingredients from that team's region and will have to make a dish inspired by the cuisine in that area. Oooooh, I'm loving this challenge so far.
As the winner of the Quickfire Challenge, Stefan gets to choose his NFL team and his opponent. He immediately chooses Andrea from Season 1, reasoning that since she lost in the second week of her season, she must be the weakest chef there. Plus, she primarily cooks vegetarian food. What he forgets, I think, is that Andrea is also the only chef to return to competition after being eliminated and that after she came back, she was much stronger...even winning an Quickfire Challenge before ultimately being eliminated in Week 6. He'd do well not to underestimate her.
The rest of the chefs huddle up to decide which NFL team they want.
The teams end up like this:
Dolphins: Jeff vs. Josee
Packers: Fabio vs. Spike
Seahawks: Miguel vs.Hosea
Giants: Leah vs. Nikki
49ers: Jaime vs. Camille
Saints: Carla vs. Andrew
Wow, I think I'm super excited about Carla going up against Andrew (as they both possess the greatest amount of frenetic energy in the history of Top Chef) and Leah against Nikki (who I find to be very well matched up). The chefs have two hours in the kitchen to test things out before the challenge the next day, where they will have 20 minutes to cook their dish live at a local Culinary Institute in front of the entire student body.
It's interesting to hear from the All-Stars how it feels to be back in the Top Chef kitchen. Josie is just excited to be cooking for an NFL challenge, Spike says that everything comes back to you when you're back at Top Chef. Nikki says that this challenge is bringing out the competitive side to her (where was this when you got eliminated in the wedding challenge last year?!?!).
Stefan, meanwhile, is talking crap about Andrea. He wonders aloud if she's learned to cook in the four years since she got eliminated twice on Top Chef. I hope she kicks his ass.
The next morning, the chefs are treated to watching Carla meditate - it's the quietest I've seen her all season. "I'm just getting centered," she explains. She really wants to win this one to get some momentum for the rest of the season, to prove that she has the talent and belongs in the competition. I'm rooting for her.
The chefs head to the Culinary Institute for the competition and we have another surprise - the eliminated chefs from this season are sitting in the audience! Stupid Eugene, cute but brainless Patrick, blowhard Danny, wonderful Radhika and my beloved Ariane. Oh Ariane, how I wish you were still in the competition!
The competition starts and though the All-Stars have a lot to prove, this Season's chefs have a lot more at stake: only chefs that lose their head-to-head battles will be up for elimination at Judges Table.
Each dish will be tasted by the four judges - the winner of this vote winning a touchdown (seven points) for their team. Then, a group of four Culinary Students will vote on which dish they liked better, with the winning dish getting a field goal (three points). I love this challenge.
First up, we have Leah vs. Nikki playing in the style of the NY Giants. Nikki is doing chicken livers and an arugula salad . . . Leah disapproves of those ingredients and thinks, in the cockiest way possible, that she'll have no problem beating her. I hate Leah. Unfortunately, Nikki's livers lose to Leah's NY strip steak and creamed corn three judges to one (with only Toby liking Nikki's dish and Padma, Tom and Scott going for Leah). Thankfully, Nikki wins over the culinary students and the score is 7-3 in favor of Season 5.
Miguel and Hosea go next in the style of the Seattle Seahawks. Hosea criticizes Miguel for having too many elements in his dish and again, unfortunately, the Season 5 chef is right as Miguel's cedar plank salmon loses to Hosea's crispy salmon roll 3 judges to 1 (with Padma, Toby and Scott liking Hosea and Tom liking Miguel). The students go for Hosea as well (ARGH!) and Season 5 is up by 14 points.
I realize at this point that I'm really rooting for the All-Stars to win this. Plus, I just hate Leah and Hosea.
Carla goes up against Andrew next in a battle of the south. Andrew is doing a crawfish crudo and Carla, in a fit of total ambition, is going to make a gumbo in 20 minutes. The audacity of her dish is leaving me speechless...but it turns out great! Carla sweeps the judges, the first to do so thus far! Of course, the tasters are less impressed and they go for Andrew four to one. 24 to 6 in favor of Season 5. This could be a runaway.
Stefan goes up against Andrea next and I'm praying that our favorite healthy-eating chef gives Stefan a taste of humility. He's doing prime rib with sliced pork (meat two ways) and Andrea is doing a tex-mex chili with crispy corn chips. Andrea talks a little smack with him and Stefan proclaims his love for her. "Call me!" he says in the backstage interview. Gross. I hate him.
The judges, on the other hand, are SPLIT!! Padma and Toby go with Andrea while Scott and Tom go with Stefan. What happens now? Apparently, whoever wins the student tasting panel gets ALL TEN POINTS.
Holy cow, and the winner is . . . . Andrea, who wins every student vote!!! She's beaten Stefan! WOOHOO!!
Stefan is stunned. He's not the only one.
"Who got the points?" asks Jaime as Stefan re-enters the kitchen.
"Andrea!" exclaims Stefan in disbelief. Andrew takes a moment to make fun of Stefan's German accent. Hosea is just happy to see him get beat.
My sister, upon seeing this, exclaims, "If he's the only one from Season 5 who loses, he HAS to go home!" I'm suddenly rooting for Season 5 to pull through. We have three chefs left.
Jaime is up next against Camille and I think this should be an easy win for Jaime, who's putting up a crab cioppino against Camille's sweet potato and miso hash. Wow, it's a tie, with Padma and Toby going for Jaime and Scott and Tom going for Camille. Will Jaime follow in Stefan's footsteps? No! Jaime wins all the testers and takes home ten points. It's 34-16 with Season 5 ahead.
Next is Jeff versus Josie. Remember, I said that Josie was probably the most formidable on the All-Star side but Jeff is not impressed with her dish. They're both doing ceviches for the Miami Dolphins, but Jeff turns his nose up at her warm rock shrimp ceviche, saying that she didn't even do a ceviche for real. Against it, he's putting up a rock shrimp ceviche with sangria sorbet. He does sorbet way too often.
The judging is really right. Padma sides with Jeff but it was all too much for Toby so he goes with Josie. Scott said that Josie made him want to eat more and he goes with her. Tom says that he liked the sorbet but that Josie's was more authentic. As for the tasters, Josie sweeps them. Jeff is absolutely stunned but I sort of saw this coming. Jeff heads back into the kitchen, a defeated man. "I lost it all," he announces. He then announces in his backstage interview that he would have been embarrassed to serve her warm ceviche. Yeah, embarrassed but you would have taken home ten points. This is arguably much worse than what happened to Stefan cause at he at least tied the judges. I'm thinking that Jeff is the favorite to go home.
With the score at 34-26, it all comes down to Fabio and Spike. If Spike sweeps the 10 points, the All-Stars win...if not, Season 5 wins. In honor of Green Bay, Fabio is going all out with Wisconsin ingredients - venison with a salad of stone fruit and cheddar cheese. Spike is doing a five-spice venison with a port wine reduction and pistachios. I have my fingers crossed for Spike. Fabio has overcooked his venison. My hope grows. The judges give their verdicts. Padma likes Spike's dish but Toby thinks that his cherries were too strong and goes with Fabio. Scott and Tom both criticize the venison for being way overdone and go with Spike. Bingo! It all comes down to the students - whomever they choose will lead their team to victory. And by a 4-1 vote, they go with...Fabio! Argh! I guess culinary students haven't learned to tell when venison is overcooked.
Of course, if Stefan goes home, then the loss by the All-Stars will all be worth it.
Hosea, Leah, Jaime and Carla are jubilantly called out to Judges Table. I predict that either Carla or Hosea has won.
Tom congratulates all the chefs for winning the head-to-head contest. Toby liked the authentic regional flavors of Carla's dish. Tom says that Hosea did a good job at making his eggrolls crispy while keeping the salmon medium rare. Scott says that watching Jaime cook is refreshing and Tom calls Leah's dish "simple and good." Ha. Guess who sounds like they had the weakest of the four dishes? I hate Leah.
And Carla ends up winning! This is her first individual Elimination Win and I'm so happy for her...but not has happy as when Carla finds out that her prize for winning this challenge is two tickets to the SUPER BOWL!!! Holy cow. Carla freaks out. I'm worried that her eyeballs will fall out of their sockets. Carla is goofy and crazy but I'm happy that the judges were "tasting the love" this time around with her dish. Good for her.
"Touchdown, Carla!" she exclaims backstage. Touchdown, indeed. "I won two tickets to the Super Bowl!!!" and of course, the first thing she does when entering the Stew Room is show off her Super Bowl tickets. I wonder if she's a dark horse for winning Fan Favorite.
Three unhappy men come out to judges table. They're all talented and they're all pissed off. Fabio tries to explain that when he sliced his venison, it was still medium rare. He then made the mistake of putting it on top of hot cabbage and it overcooked the meat. Scott, our guest judge, tries to say that intentions don't matter, only what's on the plate . . . but Fabio will have none of it. He's talking back to Scott, he's interrupting. It's not good. Finally, Scott puts the smack down on Fabio and our talkative Italian shuts up.
"This is your first time being on the bottom?" Padma asks Stefan. This makes me laugh. This is such a double-edged sword. Yes, he's been consistently good in the past but oh boy, it's almost got a "Well, you really messed up this time, didn't you?" overtone to it. In essence, Tom says that Dallas is a big in your face state ("city?" I write in my notes) and that Stefan's dish had no bold flavors at all. Scott calls Stefan out on the fact that he chose to go up against Andrea but lost to her. "You thought she'd be kinda weak, didn't you?" asks Tom. I love it.
Jeff tries to blame his failure on the fact that they had to use plastic plates and utensils to serve their food. He also says that he's surprised he got beat by a hot ceviche when it really wasn't a ceviche, especially when he did 19 more things on the plate. Toby retorts by saying that he preferred Josie because her flavors were more authentic. Tom says that the role of the chef is to create flavors and he made a watered-down version of a ceviche.
The chefs leave and the judges begin discussing. Padma says that Stefan's salad was abominable. Scott says that Fabio had no point to his arguments. Tom says that he didn't care of Jeff's dish at all and that he really didn't make a ceviche either cause he poached his shrimp. So there! Though they all had bad points I think Jeff goes home.
During the commercial break I see an ad that encourages you to vote for your Top Chef Fan Favorite. I'm SO voting for Ariane. Like 20 times. And I hope you do, too.
The chefs are called back out and the final judgments are leveled against them. Jeff's dish was a watered down version of ceviche. Stefan didn't give them the strong flavors from his region. Fabio completely overcooked his venison. I have my fingers crossed that Stefan goes home. I'm looking for any sign that Padma is going to start her next word with an "S" sound. Nope, it's Jeff. He shakes the judges hands and leaves. Fabio addresses the judges and thanks them for his second chance. Stefan passes up this chance for a speech and leaves.
As he packs his knives to leave, Jeff is pretty beat up. He says that he thought he had this challenge - maybe not a win but not a loss. He thought that Fabio would go home. He says that he's learned that his brain doesn't work the same way as other chefs, that he has a problem keeping dishes simple. I don't buy this excuse at all. Any person who's watched this show over the past four years knows that one of the most frequent reasons why a chef goes home (other than over or under-cooking food) is for having a FAR too complex dish. You hear it from the guest judges over and over - keep it simple. If you can't make a good simple dish, maybe you shouldn't try for a complex one.
Anyhow, Jeff is gone. Out of the remaining (somewhat mediocre) chefs, my prediction is that Stefan, Jaime, Hosea and Carla go to the finale. Anyone disagree? Go to "Site Info" in the top Navigation Bar and click on "BOP Feedback." I'd love to hear who you think will be in the final four.