TiVoPlex
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 through Monday, February 2, 2009
By John Seal
January 26, 2009
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Okay girls, let's start acting our way out of that paper bag!

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 01/27/09

2:45 AM Cinemax
Personal Belongings (2006 CUB): I don't know much about this Cuban film, but it's making its American television debut this morning. Personal Belongings premiered stateside at the 2008 Miami International Film Festival, and tells the story of a young man desperate to leave the island paradise, but unwilling to go the dangerous "refugee raft" route. Instead, he tries to emigrate legally — and then falls in love with a woman who has absolutely no interest in abandoning her homeland. Apparently the film won some Cuban awards, though the tubes of the internets are unwilling to reveal the specifics. Also airs at 5:45 AM.

3:00 AM MGM HD
The Second Face (1950 USA): From Eyes Without a Face (1960) to Face of Another(1966) to Face/Off (1997), and even to, simply, Face (2004), the plastic surgery horror film has been a cinema staple for over fifty years. Here's one of the first of the genre, which was no doubt influenced by World War II medical advances in the field — advances which helped a severely wounded Jack Palance become a Hollywood star. This obscure indie features Ella Raines as plain jane Phyllis Holmes, who finds herself transformed into a bathing beauty thanks to a car accident and some expensive surgery paid for by a mysterious donor. Naturally, Phyllis can't leave well enough alone, and sets out to unmask the mystery man (or could it be a woman? Nah.) Co-starring Bruce Bennett and featuring Charles Lane in one of his patented roles as an officious insurance agent, The Second Face has been missing from the small screen for decades. If you're lucky enough to get MGM HD, you'll want to nip (and tuck) over to the channel this morning.

Wednesday 01/28/09

3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Locked Room (1929 USA): Is there a rottener rotter than louche Rod la Rocque? Not if you judge him on his performance in this surprisingly agile early talkie from producer/director George Fitzmaurice. La Rocque plays playboy Frank Devereaux, who meets sweet young thing Ann Carter (Barbara Stanwyck in good early form) aboard an offshore Prohibition booze boat and almost rapes her. His indiscretion is interrupted by a police raid, but the propitious appearance of a newspaper shutterbug allows slimy Frank to get his hands on a photo of the event with which he can later blackmail Ann, wed "18 months later" to straight arrow Larry Reagen (William "Stage" Boyd). Larry's innocent little sister Helen (cute Betty Bronson) is also being eyed by the lascivious Devereaux, and complications ensue when Ann goes to his penthouse apartment to persuade him not to be such a cad. Yeah, good luck with that. With eyebrows perpetually arched and pencil moustache carefully groomed, la Rocque would be the perfect person to portray John Waters in a biopic. Also of note: ZaSu Pitts turn as a bored telephone operator and William Cameron Menzies impressive set design.

9:00 AM Showtime Extreme
Guncrazy (1992 USA): I've recommended this film in the past, but it's making its widescreen television debut this morning, so it earns another mention. A sterling cast and a reasonably well written script lift this tale of teenagers on the run from the law into "above average" territory. James LeGros plays a paroled convict trying to get his life in order, Drew Barrymore is a confused teen who loves guns, and Warhol alum Joe Dalessandro is the scumbag who abuses her. When Drew and James hook up (shortly after she's offed Joe!) complications ensue. Guncrazy is predictable but entertaining, doesn't pander to it's audience, and is a damn sight better than the similarly themed Natural Born Killers. Also airs at 7:00 PM.

11:30 PM Starz
The Band's Visit (2007 ISR): On its own terms, this is a well-made, enjoyable little comedy-drama; within the political context of post-Gaza invasion 2009, it looks like a puff piece designed to promote a two-way cultural and social exchange that really doesn't exist. The film relates the Beckettian tale of an Egyptian police band who take the wrong bus to a concert and find themselves delivered into hostile territory: the Israeli town of Beit Hativka. Stranded for 24 hours until the next bus arrives, the band must somehow survive a full day of awkward silences, dirty looks, and language difficulties. Will the local Israelis lynch them on the nearest tree — or grudgingly take them to their hearts and learn some valuable lessons in life? That's a cynical man's analysis of what is really a very good film; if you can watch Tha Band's Visit sans political blinkers you'll enjoy it. Also airs 1/29 at 2:30 AM.

Thursday 01/29/09

5:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
Luv (1967 USA): Jack Lemmon is a suicidal New Yorker in this big screen adaptation of the Broadway hit of the same name. He plays Harry Berlin, whose attempt to jump off a bridge is interrupted by chum Milt Manville (Peter Falk). Milt is having marital problems, and decides Harry should woo wife Ellen (Elaine May), thus allowing Milt to concentrate his firepower on gal pal Linda (Nina Wayne). Hence, Harry now has a reason to live — but things, of course, don't turn out quite as planned. Luv is a typical square take on the sexual revolution of the swingin' '60s: already dated in 1967, it's now an amusing time capsule at best, but any film featuring performers of the calibre of Lemmon and Falk is worth a look. Unavailable on DVD, Luv also co-stars TiVoPlex fave Severn Darden, as well as Harrison Ford in an uncredited appearance as a hippie!

7:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
As the Earth Turns (1934 USA): This forgotten and undervalued Warners' feature pops up for air this morning on TCM. Set in Great Depression-era Maine, As the Earth Turns surveys the hard-knock life of the Jankowski family, farmers struggling to hold onto their land and trying to avoid the siren song of the big city. Featuring Jean Muir and Donald Woods as Jen Shaw and Stan Jankowski, whose feelings toward the land are mirrored by their feelings for each other, this Alfred E. Green-helmed drama has absolutely no critical reputation, but is far better than your run of the mill Warners programmer.

10:05 PM HBO Signature
Sangre de mi Sangre (2007 USA-ARG): The grand prize winner at Sundance 2007, this no-holds-barred immigration drama makes its American small screen debut tonight. Written and directed by Christopher Zalla, the film stars Jorge Adrian Espindola as Pedro, a young Mexican who makes a run across the border and ends up in the Big Apple in search of his long-missing father. Pedro knows that Dad once worked in a fancy brasserie back in the day, and with the help of the ever trusty Yellow Pages, he finds him — but the film is really all about the journey, and not the destination. Though Sangre de mi Sangre occasionally leaves one incredulous with certain plot developments, it's very well acted (with particular kudos going to Jesus Ochoa as father Diego), and features noteworthy cinematography by Igor Martinovic.

Friday 01/30/09

2:30 AM HBO
The Trials of Ted Haggard (2009 USA): I haven't seen this HBO original documentary yet, but with a juicy topic like Pastor Ted, how can you go wrong? I'll never forget watching Jesus Camp on the big screen and having my wife lean over and whisper "that man is so gay" during Haggard's appearance. Only a few months later, my wife's gaydar was proven 100% accurate when Ted was outed by a male escort. Presumably this Alexandra Pelosi documentary will re-examine the sordid details of the case, as well as Haggard's attempts to "recover" from his gayness and return to his rightful spot atop the New Life Church in Colorado. With Haggard helping to promote the film on the talk show circuit, don't expect anything too salacious, however. Also airs at 5:30 AM and on 2/1 at 2:15 PM and 5:15 PM.

11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982 USA): Briefly released into theatres in 1982 and then forgotten until its late 2008 DVD release, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains makes a very rare television appearance tonight on TCM Underground. It's the story of rocker Corinne Burns (15-year-old Diane Lane), whose titular band is moving from the garage to the big time thanks to a lucky break involving British punk band The Looters (fronted by a young Ray Winstone). Of course, fame is fleeting, and Corinne and her Stains soon fall out of favor, leading to a not terribly believable happy ending. Though considered rosily by the few who had actually seen it over the decades, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains doesn't quite live up to its reputation, but remains a fascinating time capsule of an era when rockers and punks were arch enemies. It's followed at 1:00 AM by Eddie and the Cruisers (1983), the paint-by-numbers tale of a Jersey bar band who bear a shocking resemblance to Bruce Springsteen and chums. If you'd forgotten about the hilariously named Beaver Brown Band, here's your chance to make their acquaintance again.

Sunday 02/01/09

5:00 AM IFC
Drunken Angel (1948 JAP): I've always been a fan of Akira Kurosawa's "contemporary" films, which delved into the post-war Yakuza underworld with style and intelligence. Here's another of his occasional dalliances with the crime genre, once again featuring Toshiro Mifune, this time playing a gangster dying from tuberculosis. He's being treated by an alcoholic doctor, played brilliantly by screen veteran Takashi Shimura, and the film details the fascinating relationship that develops between the two. High and Low is my favorite Kurosawa film, but I consider this the best of his 1940s efforts.

4:15 PM Showtime
Bratz (2007 USA): The girls have a passion for fashion! Those annoying big-eyed dolls who smacked Barbie upside her head with their colagened lips and oversized purses got their own movie in 2007, and it makes its widescreen television debut this afternoon! Cue mad excitement! Actually, the film is just your standard wretched tweeny rom com — it would have been a lot better if they'd made it with animated Bratz, because they'd display a lot more talent than the, ahem, "actors" featured herein. But isn't it nice that Hollywood's favorite new right-winger, former Vietnam War protester Jon Voight, signed up for Bratz duty? Somehow that just makes a lot of sense. Also airs at 7:15 PM.

Monday 02/02/09

6:00 PM Sundance
Leila Khaled: Hijacker (2006 SWE): I became aware of Leila Khaled when the second Teardrop Explodes album, Wilder, came out in 1981. The song Like Leila Khalid Said is a typically catchy Teardrops number with a sinuous, vaguely Arabic melody line, but I had no idea who or what a Leila Khaled was until many years later. As it turns out, Ms. Khaled was the first woman to hijack an airliner, working on behalf of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine during their 1969 offensive. Haifa-born Leila was one of four revolutionaries who seized control of TWA 840 on August 29 1969 whilst it was en route from Rome to Athens. Ultimately, no one was hurt, though the empty plane was blown up, and Leila would go on to attempt one further 'jacking before the PFLP temporarily renounced the tactic. Her remarkable life is retold in this excellent Swedish documentary, which scooped up several awards on the festival circuit. As for that Teardrop Explodes song, singer Julian Cope later explained it was a love song for a beautiful woman, and nothing more.